You’ve worked hard all of YOUR life.
You raised your kids into responsible productive adults.
Even though you never thought you could, you are over that no good man who made you think he was in it forever.
You still work but retirement is within your sights and that delicious finish line is coming quicker than you anticipated.
You are on top of your bills and have socked away a good piece of money that at one point you never thought you’d have.
Your place is almost paid for and you really have no plans to leave where you are.
You made it this far and have minimal health concerns except maybe to drop a few pounds.
You attend religious faith services frequently but not regular enough to say that you are as committed as your other fellow congregants. You understand that you do have a firm belief in a higher power but still have a foot in the pleasures of the world and haven’t committed yourself to completely letting those indulgences go as of yet.
You might not be a super model but after all you have overcome in this life you KNOW that you are above most who are in your age group and you still catch men in public gazing passionately at you on the sly.
Overall other than the losses of a few loved ones in your inner circle of family and friends, you can say that life has been good and the future looks bright.
The only thing at this point – although you said to yourself that it doesn’t matter – is that you find yourself craving the company of a nice gentleman every now and again.
Every now and again?
Yes. But you are no dummy. You know that you are a great catch and have worked too damn hard over the years to achieve what you have to allow just any man into your world just like that.
You see, at this point you don’t know if you could recuperate from another major “man drama breakup crisis” and don’t want to ruin these long anticipated “best years of your life” over a fraudulent loser who merely sees you as a means to make up for the years that he has wasted living the wonton life of being a pimp player who woke up one day and suddenly realized that he was too old to “play the game” anymore.
But there are a few options on the table for you to finally have that gentleman in your life but you are taking your time investigating them in a non urgent manner because if the truth be told, your life is sweet as it is.
But that nagging desire to have company for an entire weekend without having to temporarily part ways to go to your respective humble abodes just won’t go away.
You are not only a mere woman, you’ve been grown MORE than you’ve been considered young.
But not only are you a grown woman, you are a certified grown ass woman and while you are very much the lady that would NEVER refer to yourself in such a manner, you have no qualms at this very special point in your life to admitting that your well “concealed to the world” desires cannot be curtailed much longer.
It surely won’t suffice anymore to have those yearnings quelled with that always ready to please “battery operated boyfriend” that you have secretly stashed in the bottom drawer of the nightstand under your designer lace panties ready for use to bring yourself into an orgasmic slumber after a hard and hectic day nerve draining day on the job that you swore would never end.
But to reach this point in your life and to feel yourself slipping into that place where your sense of reasoning is quickly fading due to that ever present tsunami of passion is a dangerous place indeed. Most often in this life we tend to focus on the things that we don’t have over the things that we do have. This is where we mess up the good life that we have because we can begin to view reality in a way that is disproportionate to what is truly there.
In this case, a woman will be more apt to settle for an old slick talking broken down pimp player who appeared to fill those gaps in her soul. But he will only be found to later be a cheap low quality filler after a time of failing to live up to the moral standards that he so shrewdly projected even though she began to see and ignore the red flags that were screaming for her to take the preventative actions that would have saved her a ton of drama down the line.
There are so many worldly men out here who have lived a life of a certified womanizer and never thought to themselves that they would ever get old and rundown as the unwanted product of the fast lifestyle that for them was considered the norm. They never thought about securing themselves and their reality would change as fast as the women that they used, abused and victimized, tossing them away for the next challenge of a conquest.
So now they are facing the later stages of their life and the parties are not there anymore as many in his inner circle have either settled down, took sick or even died from the complications of the heavy drinking, drugging and all around abuse that was levied on their fragile bodies that have given in to the barrage of unhealthy practices that have left them looking much older than their actual chronological ages.
There are less couches of friends, club hopping running buddies and acquaintances to crash on for the night when you have no place of your own and an even more diminishing amount of women who are naive enough to believe in the hustle of their emotional and financial resources that they now want no part of after being bitten one time too many by a sorry example of a leech of a man to whom they can see coming a mile away no matter how good the sweet talk sounds.
What’s an aging and now very desperate player to do?
Well, the grass for grazing no longer exists where he’s enjoyed many delicious meals before, so it’s time to pick up and relocate to somewhere slower where the grass appears greener. It’s greener in that smaller town where no one knows him because there are women who have it all but are at the breaking point in an inner turmoil where their high standards and moral character are in a constant war with the natural lower desires that are felt daily in a very powerful way.
Might that woman be you?
Ladies, you have to be honest with yourself in solitude in order to be strong in the world. If you deny that without the backing of God’s power you will eventually drop your defenses because you and I both know how good it feels to hold someone in your arms that you believe is yours and yours alone in the middle of the night regardless if you’ve made love that night.
It’s the perfect haven and breeding ground to bring that aging womanizer the abundant resources that he so desperately craves and needs to get the free ride that he wants. Lots of single women as well as married ones too who feel disillusioned about their routine predictable lives as they are trapped in a dead end union where excitement is a thing that existed all too briefly in their matrimonial past.
There are also those overheard after service parking lot conversations that are steeped in gossip where an eavesdropper like our newly relocated pimp player can learn much about the wayward habits and sinful sordid history of those to whom he will become that designated predator for and arm himself with the information that he needs to choose the best prospects to land him with the keys to the beautiful home and full run of some unsuspecting woman who will invite him on in to her life foolishly with open arms.
Might that woman be you?
He volunteers faithfully his time to the church every chance that he gets and eventually wins the confidence of some of the key Elders in the church who want to know who this faithful servant of the Lord is as they attempt to pull him in to the inner circle of the church hierarchy because of his intense but short run as one who seems to be of a very selfless character as he serves the Lord with such a giving heart.
But his hustle is not merely to ride off of the back of some naive love starved woman but he also knows that to have a great credibility in the church with the “higher ups” creates an aura of holiness to his persona and public image that most externally converted pimp leeches would simply die for!
All the while after having whittled down his choices for the best prospect of a woman to con out of her resources, he has settled on you unbeknownst to you! To make matters worse is that he has been projecting to you in a non verbal manner of how good of a catch he is to merely ignite the fires of passion that he knows exists below the prim and proper exterior that YOU project out to the world! You might fool those men who were raised in the church who have absolutely NO street knowledge or credibility but HE knows that you would absolutely LOVE to have a man all to yourself in-house that was eager to suck that clit at the drop of a dime every time your little heart desired.
He sees it in you even though the both of you never even had a conversation other than the under your breath “excuse me’s” that you both uttered in the narrow church hallways on the way to your respective restrooms as the service convened.
Then came that fateful day that you later on classified as one of the worst days that could have happened in your life…….
You of all people reached out to HIM!
You actually felt from a distance that you observed his movements enough and took the word of your trusted casual church sisters that he was always a gentleman that never hit on them or ever gave them the impression that he was there for any other reason BUT to serve the Lord!
He was a catch. Tempting. He dressed meticulously. The few times that he DID speak his personal testimony it was so articulate and passion filled about an ex wife who took him for all of his riches and broke him down to nothing, forcing him to divorce her many years ago and relocate to live a monk-like spartan like existence where his only desire was to find and serve the Lord.
Dear GOD! It was a powerful enough of a testimony to make the Pastor’s WIFE’S pussy wet! heck, you knew deep down that many of the women in the congregation were a bit younger than you, more willing to be aggressive to get what they felt they needed and probably were more successful than you. Was this your insecurity showing? Maybe so. maybe not. But YOU weren’t going to leave ANYTHING to chance and allow anyone of these sanctified hookers get the man that you felt dropped down directly from the Heaven’s above and into your lap! Heck no!
You’ve always told yourself that any man that you’ve dealt with HAD to have his own place and his own vehicle. Bar none. But now because of being up close and hopefully personal with this mystery man with a testimony that told you that he was in dire need of a good woman in his life unlike his former ex-wife who you would later find out was a lie to cover up his tracks from a non productive worldly life, you were willing to make concessions and “work” with a brother because you were CERTAIN that he was a diamond in the rough!
But you forgot to heed one of your own personal rules – If it looks to good to be true, it IS to good to be true!
You made an exception and paid dearly for it down the line.
You always saw him humbly standing at the bus stop every week that you attended service and hope that the timing would pan out just the same this week because with the rain clouds looming over the horizon making it very dark for that time of the day made for the perfect opportunity to offer him a ride home.
Your wish was granted as he stood waiting for a bus that would arrive no sooner than an hour as he appeared to have his face down in the word in the same manner you wanted that handsome face buried deeply between your thighs. you were now intoxicated to the point of madness merely because it had been so long that you felt this way and to be honest it really felt so good and alive!
You pulled up to the bus stop in your two year old drop top Lexus that you now felt a little embarrassed because you were too busy to take it to the car wash in the last two weeks, your hopefully future prince of a husband/king locked eyes with you immediately and the temperature felt as though it went up twenty degrees as his smile warmed you over and had you ready to say “I DO” and take this charismatic stranger home on the spot.
Your last sane thought was “Is he that good or am I so smitten by a fantasy that seems to be playing out in my life?”
…….you later would find out that it was the latter.
Now let me cut the chase and bring this story to a close because I’ve got tom get up early in the morning and don’t want to be a zombie all day.
You took no time to really get to know this man who charmed his way into your life. You foolishly ignored all of the red flags that beckoned to you to take your sweet time because you were a woman who had it ALL and could have had any man that you wanted but were too insecure to understand this.
You slowly began to find out the truth but were too far gone in his ever diminishing illusion to even think about going back to a life that didn’t include him. Your credit was wrecked from subsidizing his pipe dreams and crack pipe. Your health was put at risk and thank the Lord that it was something that a few shots could take care of.
But now you’ve found out that your very bedroom was the scene of the many romps in the sack that he had with your trusted church sisters who didn’t give a damn about your sanity as long as they can have the last laugh to chuckle under their breath during the powerful service that was being delivered that YOUR “prize” of a King serviced their every orifice deliciously in YOUR house while you later came home from a hard days work only to lay tired in a still moist puddle of their collective juices in your bed.
…….and you know what? You STILL believed that illusion of a loving God fearing man still existed deep down inside of an ever growing monster that you’ve now found out was blatantly stealing money from you and eventually started hitting you when you would question the reason why he was coming home just before daybreak with the scent of another woman’s pussy and ass all over him with no excuse or explanation of his whereabouts.
Now you sit in a homeless shelter drained of your money and barely hanging on to your sanity after realizing that your mortgage wasn’t being paid while the foreclosure papers were well hidden from your sight. You wondered how you could ever allow a man to enter so deeply into your world as he manipulated your mind with scripture as he took over the role of a man in your life as it felt so good to allow him to do so.
You don’t know if you have the strength or the time left on this earth and in this life to find yourself back into that enviable and “oh so distant” place where you KNEW that you “had it all” except for the company of a man.
Might that woman be you in the not too distant future?
…….let’s hope not.
Look, we all can find ourselves weak at different junction points in this life but PLEASE, be CAREFUL about WHO you allow into your world and take the time to investigate that man with a background check, a credit check, a criminal background check as well as a two year dating/waiting period to see if he is all that he claims to be.
Don’t ever try to “save” a broken man and never think that their are no good men out there or you might find yourself like the imaginary woman in this blog who really represents the many faceless women who might be too embarrassed to share their tale of misjudgement, bad choices and the consequences that literally robbed them of the life that they sacrificed so long and hard for.
No matter what, be thankful for the little you DO have instead of yearning for what you think you DON’T have, because at the end of the day it’s a hurtful thing to realize that a mere satanic illusion snatched away the concrete achievements that God allowed you to have and enjoy.
…….it kind of makes you appreciate that battery operated boyfriend that was always there for you and NEVER brought you one iota of drama now matter how much you demanded of “him” to put you to sleep! It’s a heck of a thought isn’t it?
let me know what you think and leave your comments in the comment box below, hopefully this article snapped you out of a mindset that would have delivered you straight into a disaster!
Peace & Righteous Love Always,
Your Brutally Honest brother,