A Few Dire Realizations That Our Young Black Men Need To Urgently Understand About This Life!

In these present day I see so many of our young men pursuing many foolish endeavors that will surely sneak up on them to bite them in the backside one day soon. And if it is not the kind that would land them in jail, it will be the variety that will quickly have them dwelling in the land of regret and unfulfilled potential.

Their perception of time is totally thrown off and greatly malfunctioning. While this is not an attempt to demonize an entire
generation as there are many young men who are executing the right moves in life but there are far too many of our future leaders being destroyed from a lack of understanding as to how life works because of a lack of mentors and spiritual/practical guideposts to help them navigate through life in a manner that will minimize the misjudgments and mistakes that could follow them for an entire lifetime.

Understand that time flies faster as you get older and while you may feel as though you have all the time in the world to play around with, this is not the case. Time moves slower when you are younger but responsibilities have a way of creeping up on you slowly but surely and you will look around and those dreams that you were sure would be a reality can somehow resemble a sports car that flew past you at the speed of lightning and left you in the wind.

Understand that while you may not know exactly what you wish to do with your life as far as a career or profession, do keep yourself busy at SOMETHING that will show the world that you possess a willingness to keep trying with no gaps in school or employment activity.

One of the magic secrets that many up and comers these days do not want to hear (Because they want to get paid!) is that to avoid those long employment/accountability gaps on your resume, you could also volunteer you time at an organization that is in the direction of a field that you might be interested in or just something new that you may want to try out.

To remain isolated away from the world in an antisocial manner does you know good at all. Your personal growth as a person will surely be stunted for sure. Go out into the world, mix with many different types of people, learn people skills and move beyond the narrow constraints that a close minded way of living will bring.

Understand that you will always be attracted (I’m talking to straight men, the only men that I can relate to from my own personal
experiences) to the opposite sex and may feel that you might be in love at some point in time, know that you do not want to waste
precious time emotionally and professionally by pursuing a relationship or dealing with the drama that many (Not all) romantic
pairings can bring. I am not saying that one should not get involved because that would literally be impossible to demand from you but the trick to winning here is to never cease doing what you must do for yourself.  That way, if your love interest does not work out then you won’t get frustrated from the time spent on her that you could have won’t on your interests and career.

Understand that a night (A night? It’s usually a few minutes at best! Lol!) of unrestrained unprotected passion can result in a lifetime of responsibility, not only that, but unprotected sex is quite dangerous these days as it also can cost you your life!

It is so very shocking to me that when I see these young girls collectively pushing baby carriages that no one is mentioning that
while an unplanned pregnancy has transpired because of the lack of protection then H.I.V. could have been the reality instead. Take your time in this life, when you utilize it wisely from an early age then it will appear to move more slowly and enjoyably because you will have less stress on your head!

Understand the true value of money. Know the difference between having  a few dollars in your pocket and being rich. Know the difference  between being rich and being wealthy. As much as we oggle at the amount of money that Oprah Winfrey has amassed over the course of her life as she built her empire, she is only rich when compared to the people in the world who have the most money. She doesn’t even come close! Isn’t that something? No that is definitely not a put-down because I am only trying to make a point. Remember when comedian Chris Rock said this joke to the effect that if Bill Gates woke up having only “Oprah Winfrey” money, he would be “pissed” beyond measure!

So there is a big difference!

Know the importance of establishing a great credit standing from a young age and pay your bills on time and make only purchases that you need and can afford to pay back. We are living in the computer age and nothing goes unnoticed in our personal financial affairs and how we handle them.

Now to be very honest with you on this particular topic, you really should never purchase anything that you couldn’t afford to pay off in full with cash! This does require a bit of discipline that most don’t have and this is why there are so many bankruptcies and foreclosures today because many individuals have gone crazy with the credit fad and overextended themselves and now they are paying for it “tooth and nail!”

Train yourself to avoid feverishly the cheap gaudy displays that others fully execute of the flamboyant attention grabbing niggerisms that jar the senses in an attempt to convince the observer of an inflated value and net worth.

The point is that expensive custom car rims, sound systems, lots of 10 karat gold jewelry and having your hair and nails done do absolutely nothing for your bottom line.

But it works wonders for someone else’s. Understand?

Know that you must be in the process of executing your mission every time you leave you home. You should be able to tell me WHY you are going outside at that time and what you hope to accomplish. No, I know that I may not be your Daddy but that is not the point here. And I must tell your that at my accumulated ancient age at the time of this writing of 48, this is a technique that I frequently utilize myself to this DAY! Well what does it accomplish you might ask?

It keeps me out of trouble!

I have discovered that 99.99% of the time when our young (And old too!) men get caught up with the law it’s because they had lots of idle time outside with absolutely no goals to accomplish! It’s easy to do some very foolish things when you are wandering about the face of the earth with nothing in your head to pursue. This is when negative thoughts will be whispered into your mind and you will find yourself locked up somewhere regretting what it was that you did to get there.

And to be honest with you, in a perfect world we should be able to move about the world’s terrain as we so desire but this world is not perfect and we have agencies in this place called America that possess quotas and have some very stern agendas that involve YOU in order to continue their very profitable imbalanced racket called law enforcement.

You must always beat the devil at his own game and stay two steps ahead of him. It’s worked for me all of these years……

Understand that you must always think before you act with everything that you do in this world. Anywhere that you find yourself good OR bad is a direct result of your choices whether you can grasp this concept it or not. Never blame anyone for the predicament that you have found yourself in whether it is one that is consider a favorable one or if it is considered bad. Give God the glory if it is good and take full responsibility if it is considered a bad predicament because if you followed God’s divine laws in the first place you wouldn’t have found yourself in such a negative chapter of your life. So he gets the glory for all that is good! No exceptions!

Understand that action follows thought each and every time in this life and you MUST think every action through before executing any action at all. To not think your preferred action through is to react, an to react is to operate and be controlled by something else’s action. Which in a nutshell means that you are in essence a victim with no control.


You are minding your business at a club (To be honest with you, you have absolutely NO business spending your time in a social club unless you are someone who is making legitimate legal money there! No exceptions, stay OUT of there!) speaking to two very gorgeous young ladies who gaze upon your dapper form with all of the admiration and interest in the world. It is obvious that these two highly desirable manifestations of womanhood definitely crave more as they inch closer to you to hear the honey laced words roll off of your velvety tongue.

While no one really pays any mind to this all to common human mating ritual, there are always those who just don’t have the ability to captivate any desirable member of the opposite sex with their command of the English language in order to communicate their deepest feelings and serve them up in an easy to digest manner.

These are the individuals who will always attempt to bring confusion in your life because of their personal lack of development and glaring inadequacies.

Well, an envious covert observer rudely interrupts your conversation and attempts to embarrass you and put you down in front of your two fans by drawing attention to the fact that he has a later model car than you and has a higher paying job. Remember; action follows thought and if you take a few moments to NOT react to his blatant attack on your ego and think about what he is truly attempting to accomplish here you will have the presence of mind to thwart his goal of making you look foolish in the presence of your two friends to force you act in a manner that will make you appear less desirable to them.

Or; you can fall for the bait and get angry and say something out of character and kill the bond that has been forming with your two beautiful friends and lose out on a wonderful evening that was surely to be filled with lots of laughter, fun and Lord know whatever else! Lol!

The point is here that YOU are the captain of your ship and you must have enough confidence in yourself and character from within to be able to navigate successfully the sometimes negative waters that we can find ourselves in when we are pursuing something pleasurable or positive with our time and energy for the day.

All in all there are many more things that I can share in this particular vein and I will throw a few more “nuggets” out there when
the spirit hits me to do so. But I hope someone has gotten something out of what I just put down in this blog and know that if you feel the need to reach out to me on any issue that you might be going through feel free to call me direct (407-590-0755) or hit the contact link at the extreme top of this page to email me. Life can sometimes be a challenge and many of us face some very unique situations and challenges that the so called mainstream system does not address and oftentimes makes one feel as though it is odd to have the issues that we do.

If this article makes sense to you help me to share it by clicking on the Facebook “recommend” button below…….

God bless you and I am looking forward to hearing from you…….


Lance Scurvin

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