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A Typical Night On My Bus: Men You Better Beware Of The Sexy Backseat Hooker!

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Ask any bus driver in any sizable city what he sees over the span of a week. Most will tell you of the many tales of public decadence that are so common to them that you may find it so hard to believe.

What you must understand that for the eight plus hours that we sit behind that wheel, we are in a position to see so much more than a person who boards the bus for a short time and then exits once they reach their destination. You most likely will spend more time waiting on the bus to arrive than the actual ride.

Also understand that we as bus operators sit behind that wheel for hours long after you’ve reached home and are tucked quietly and safely into your bed, while we continue to venture off into the darkness of the night being exposed to the things that even the nightly news can’t show you.

But it is there for us to see in plain view and if you were to spend the same amount of time in the streets on the bus up and down the same neighborhoods day after day, week after week and in most cases year after year, those faceless strangers that you as a passenger don’t recognize become a familiar entity that becomes a common thread laced throughout the fabric of our day.

Most people are only concerned about reaching their destination and are not aware of their surroundings at all. They are usually deep in thought to the point of being dangerously oblivious to the threats that lurk to their person with a proximity too close. Others are lost in their preferred musical sounds through their earplugs while even more just stare off into space in a manner that let’s me know that their bloodstream has been willingly compromised and invaded by the various illegal pharmaceuticals that are just readily available for the masses of people who seek escape from that all to common hopeless sense of doom that has loomed over the land like a threatening storm cloud that seems to enjoy the fear it evokes before it even releases a drop of its natural fury.

Yes, no one seems to see anything unless it is the very vice for which they enjoy. Go downtown to the bus station any late weekday afternoon and you will see the true working and character of your city come alive. For me, it is my adopted city of Orlando but being a transplanted New Yorker, although things here happen on a much smaller level when compared to the city that never sleeps, you must always understand that human nature will rear it’s ugly head no matter WHAT the population count of that particular metropolis. People will be people regardless!

That being said, do not think once that with the demand of the people for massive doses of escapism, that when you are lied to by the media and law enforcement agencies and are told that a particular area in your city is being rid of the drugs, prostitution and illegal guns, that the dragon they have so publicly boasted of slaying has not taken residence somewhere else not too far right up under your nose hidden in plain view.

Now that being said, you must understand that when the demand never diminishes, the supply will always be there. Especially when it comes down to someone making money. When this is the case, it WILL  transpire. The trick is to fool the masses of gullible people who depend on the public airwaves of indoctrination called the television to keep you misinformed about what is really happening in your city.

What I see on the evening news compared to what I see in reality most times do not even remotely resemble each other!

But most would never know that because you ride the bus at the same time everyday, go to work with the same people and eat the same food to return home and start the cycle all over again. You operate your lives in this narrow little lane yet you tell yourself that you are free!

How can you consider yourself an enlightened individual when you can’t see beyond your tiny existence?

Digest that thought while I share with you the realities that are my daily dose of entertainment as well as a unique insight that has
garnered me a crash course of intense wisdom that no school room can claim to have taught me.

Picture this, a well endowed young woman in her early twenties boards the bus, pays her fare by swiftly swiping her card and struts straight to the back seat in a manner that temporarily transforms the middle aisle of the well packed bus into her own private fashion catwalk that displays her strong shapely well toned thighs and calves as well as her ample breasts that appear to aggressively defy gravity with a cleavage that can hide your entire paycheck even if it were broken down to single dollar bills.

Her confidence was such that she walked into the standing crowd as though they didn’t exist and her determination to exude her raw
sensuality automatically made those “very much in awe” passengers part like the Red Sea for Moses to accommodate the trajectory that she was determined to execute to attain the seating she desired on that crowded bus.

Fate would have it that she would find herself in the seat dead center in the very back row that was a step up and elevated, she sat above everyone else in the ultimate power seat on my bus and turned it into her own personal throne to which everyone who entered got a view of legs that could only be deemed as breathtakingly delicious.

The very compelling display of acrobatic display of lip licking and  lollipop oral antics only added to the rising erotic tensions of many of the already captivated and very much sexually frustrated passengers.

You could see a few of the mature women on board glancing at each other and slightly shaking their heads as well as the teeth sucking from the younger females out of either disgust or the fact that they were now not going to get any attention while in the presence of this public transportation Diva.

I had to give credit where credit is due as it was obvious that she worked hard on her upkeep and deserved to be treated like the Queen that she obviously felt she was but in cases like this when an individual works so hard on the physical and what is seen, it makes me wonder if they have taken the time to work on the other important aspects of their being such as the mental and spiritual or are they just a cardboard cutout of a shallow person with not much more to them than what you see.

Intriguing to say the least.

I say this not because I would attempt to insert myself (Freudian slip? Nooooo!) as a candidate for her romantic attentions, no, I am
out of that game thank you. But it still is interesting to know what is on the inside of a person when you catch a glimpse of them in such a fleeting manner in public without ever knowing if they are real and well rounded or fake and frivolous.

The only thing that I couldn’t figure out is why was she exposing that much of her pretty legs in public as her slit skirt appear to try and imitate a belt! This was going to get interesting as I could see by the stolen glances of the male passengers on my bus that the tensions were mounting and somehow someway some man was going to try to approach her and either make a rank fool of himself or advance to the next level of the age old mating game of seduction.

With a job like mine, who needs cable television? This is the ultimate Reality Television Show! Do you hear that all of you Networks? Ol’ Scurv will keep your ratings through the roof if you just rode the bus with me a few times a week!

Now this young woman KNEW that she was the silent center of attention and she aged it to a fault. I have to tell you that there were a few passengers who I KNEW were married men who all of a sudden wanted to stay on the bus to ride down to the Walmart to pick up a few things before they went home! This realization came after upon boarding my bus they mentioned how broke they were and how they were going straight home ’cause they didn’t have any extra money to spend! We all laughed in agreement, this is why I felt it was so funny that they wanted to stay on, they all wanted to take their shot at this living breathing fantasy of a woman as though they wanted to postpone old age from dampening their existence for just one more night.

I mean, maybe they were really broke and only mentioned it as to not look suspicious to the other passengers who knew that they stayed on long after their particular stop had passed.

These three for the most part unkempt “over fifty” grown ass men reminded me of the boys who would hang around late on the front steps of a pretty young lady house hoping to outlast and “outstay” the others in order to have the girl’s much desired company all to themselves.

I could tell that this was going to be a real funny one…….

The “Queen” of the bus wasn’t budging from her throne as these men had no choice but to honor their shallow weak story of having to “pick up” something from the supermarket when in fact the only thing that they were trying to pick up was this fine morsel of a woman who had her female charms on display and disrupted the otherwise predictable and somewhat boring lives of these lust driven male passengers.

Reluctantly two of the three clowns got off of the bus and for a split second both glared at the remaining third of the trio as to concede victory in an envious way. Although there were several passengers left on an otherwise emptying bus, he was the one who was determined to get the attention of this mysterious dashing Diva whose mere physical presence for the short time that she bless us all with her presence on my bus has captivated all who have crossed her path.

Stop after stop to the liking of our last man standing the other passengers exited the bus and I could tell by the look on his face
that appeared to not have been shaved on a few days a look of sweet victory and delight as he actually got up from the safe haven of seat a good distance from her to sitting next to her in the back that would allow him to make whatever move on her that he had in mind.

Human nature can be so obvious, many times over the years I have witnessed the mating game played out right there on my bus unbeknownst to the participants who are engaged in that mysteriously urgent and timeless dance of procreation.

I’ve witnessed the very moment when two have first laid eyes on each other only to see them and their newborn board the bus years later. It’s like seeing destiny played out in front of my very eyes, long before the moment of conception at the first divine wave of attraction.

But for these remaining two passengers it was quite obvious that the basis for their positioning was not of a divine motivation. Her
increased primping and long sensuous gazes into her hand mirror let me know that she was receptive to this dirty old man’s presence.

Wow! It hit me so hard now what she was all about! She was a covert prostitute! It made total sense to me now! I’ve hears about this
before happening on the bus but now I am getting a full education of this phenomenon right before my very eyes! He finally garnered the confidence to say something to her but judging by their collective body language the deal was already set in an unspoken fashion.

I was now already at the end of my bus route behind the Sand Lake Hospital and held back from saying anything to them to see what their next move would be. The silence was broken by his inquiry of how long I was going to remain in this location before pulling off again to venture downtown.

Most people ask this of me when they are heading back downtown usually from oversleeping and missing their stop or a homeless person playing the system to stay on the bus and get an uninterrupted sleep for the three hour length of the round trip. Neither scenario was the case with those two. It was just a matter of where the exchange of “goods and services” were going to take place. I wonder if this man’s wife really needed anything from the store in actuality?

Just being funny.

On this particular route ironically having the designation of being numbered the (over) “21” route, its layover behind the hospital has been the morbid scene where many a matrimonial vow has been broken.

With its huge darkened parking lot that is barely used after the folks in the various administration and specialists have departed, coupled with the fact that it is a place where most folks who live in Orlando hardly venture to because of the geographically undesirable location when compared to the other easier to get to hospitals in Orlando like well known Orlando Regional Medical Center (O.R.M.C.) and the Florida Hospital, one could quickly begin to imagine the glimpses of after dark festivities that I have been afforded to viewing on my very entertaining stop overs there!

One late night around midnight when I was about to pull out to head downtown at this same location I was startled to hear the soft tapping of fingernails on the front passenger door. I couldn’t tell who it was but this individual seemed to appear out of nowhere! What made their appearance look so ghostly to me was that they had on a housecoat that was partially open wearing what appeared to be some type of lingerie under it! In that same split second I opened the door I noticed a huge customized pleasure van idling in the background with only its parking lights on. When I finally locked eyes with this woman she quickly grabbed and closed the housecoat because she realized the view that I was afforded wasn’t meant for my eyes at all! She thought I was another driver!

Nervously, she asked for him by name and inquired if he would be on the next bus arriving behind mine.  I won’t say whose name it was because the world would know it and he might be in a bit of trouble with his significant other. But I told her that I really wasn’t sure as to what his schedule was for that night and I am sorry for the inconvenience. She smiled and walked off to the van awkwardly in her black stiletto heels as though she had one drink too many.

…….I guess she had a nice midnight lunch break surprise for him!

So at this location on my layovers over the years, you could only imagine the future blogs that I will write to illustrate some of the happenings that I have experienced here.

But back to our dynamic duo who inquired as to how long I would be at that spot, I told them that I would be there for approximately thirty minutes and would return to leave only after taking a short trek over to use the restrooms located inside of the hospital because what I needed to do could NOT be accommodated by a tree. Lol! No, I didn’t tell them that last part at all!

But after my routine layover walk, upon returning within full sight of my bus, I realize that my two passengers had vanished into the night. Oh well. Maybe they decided on taking another means of transportation into town or maybe they were still around but just out of sight.

I decided to hang around for a few minutes more to give them the opportunity to get the ride with me back downtown if they were still within the area and may have misjudged the time. Plus, I will admit that I really wanted to see what was going down between the two even though I already knew what was up because of the obvious chemistry that they threw off together. It wasn’t of the romantic variety but it was actually two signals that I received from them. One from her that let me know that any attentions that she received was all about making her money and from her newly acquired fan was that he was determined to do what he had to do to have his way with her even if it meant paying for the privileged to do so.

Nothing surprising about that…….

The clock told me that I was four minutes past the time that I should have left and I do believe that they probably were gone. If they knew that the lake about a half a mile away was infested with hungry alligators I don’t think they would want to venture that far into the darkness to end up on someones milk carton one day so I assumed they headed back by some other means.

I guess I will never know what went down…….

I popped the emergency brake, put the bus into gear and started to move off slowly while accepting the fact that this night might just go like another routine night (Does it really ever?) when just at that very moment I believe I heard someone yelling their brains out over the low rumble of the diesel engine…….

Hey! Hey! Yoooooo! Hey man! Don’t leave me! Hey! Stop!

I smirked to myself and knew then at that very moment that my night would be a very entertaining one more so than it was earlier so I hit the break and opened the door to see my very same horny male passenger who obviously wandered off into the shadows with that gorgeous (I really hate to admit that!) woman running back to my bus with no pants on! All he had on were his shoes and socks and his shirt! The hat that he had on earlier was just a prop to hide a bald spot that glistened under the lights as he appeared to be setting an Olympic track record getting his old self back to my bus!

With no pants on?

What in the heck happened to him?

Here is how our exchange went when he returned to the doorway of my bus:

Scurv: Hey man, I don’t know what just happened, but I can’t let you get on my bus like that!

Passenger: man, I got no choice, I can’t walk through the street like this! I’ll get locked up!

Scurv: Man if I let you on this bus then that becomes a problem for me! How do I explain me letting you on this bus to my supervisors when they step to me later on?

Passenger: Man, they don’t have to know, I could just go right to the back and sit down in a way where no one could see me with my ass out and when I get to my stop I could just run home real quick because it’s late now and nobody should be out!

Scurv: I can’t do it man! They WILL find out when some woman gets on to ride home and decides to call in to the company to have them pull the recording of my shift. Then I would have to explain this whole episode and I ain’t losing my job because you were out here trying to get some new pussy!

Passenger: Man, you know how it is out here with these young girls, wifey don’t do it for me anymore so a man gotta do what a man gotta do and……….(Cutting him of in mid-sentence)

Scurv: So THAT’S why you have to face the consequences as a man brother. You knew what you were doing when you ran off the bus with her so you have to be the one to take the weight. And don’t put me in this with you ’cause YOU got caught! I get hit on all day long by women and you have to make up your mind if you are going to be a strong man or be weak, thank God I have a little control because I would NOT want to be in YOUR position right now!

…….by the way, what in the HECK happened to your pants?

Passenger: Man, she told me that she could take care of me real good right here when you walk away. She just wanted to go a little bit out of the way by those trees over there just in case someone else came through and saw us. So I said bet, let’s do this. You saw her for yourself man, that bitch had it going on! I know you had to be lookin’ too so you can’t act like you don’t know what I am talkin’ about! But hey, she started walking all sexy in front off me and she let them titties fall out of her dress so I could see them, I knew that I was in for a good time now. She told me to take my pants off completely because she didn’t want to get her knees dirty and that she didn’t see anything else that she could have kneeled on when she was hitting me off with some head.

Damn! Those titties were looking so good as I couldn’t wait to get out of my pants! I didn’t even care if they got a little dirty because it was the end of the day and it was dark. She folded them all neat and shit and got down on her knees and started rubbing my shit all over her breasts and I put my head back because I knew what was coming next………

Whew! Boy was I in for it!

Come on man! You got me out here with my dick swingin’ back and forth and I could have BEEN back there hiding my ass while you drive this bus to take everybody home!

Scurv: Maybe I will, just finish the story……..(While holding back my tears from wanting to laugh so hard!)

Passenger: Well, after about ten seconds when I didn’t feel anything I looked down and she had a long ass switchblade about a half inch from my balls and told me that those pants belong to her now and I better not move from here because she has a gun in her bag and she will shoot my sorry ass if I made a sound or looked to run away!

What was I going to do man! How could I tell my wife? My cellphone was in the pocket of those pants and my wife already has been calling me but I ignored it because I was trying to get that ass!

Scurv: Then we need to call the cops then…….

Passenger: NO! AWWWWW HELL NO! And then it would be official and I would have to press charges and my wife would find out for sure then! Hell no! Man PLEASE! Just let me get a ride home and I will take a chance to run down the two blocks to my house and get inside before my wife sees that I don’t have no pants on!I’ll just tell her that they are in the front yard because I slipped and fell in some dog shit! That’s what I’ll tell her!

Scurv: Sorry brother, the best thing that I could tell you to do is to go to the hospital emergency room and get the attention of  a Security Officer and tell him what happened…….

Passenger: I can’t do that man, THEY are going to want to get the police involved too! This shit happened on THEIR property!

Scurv: Listen man, just tell them that you are disoriented and you wandered off of the bus because you didn’t take you medication this morning and you were not feeling right…….

Passenger: Man, you’re trying to get me all caught up in some shit for real! I just got to get home and you are telling me to tell them some shit like that, do you know what they will do? They will think I’m some kind of crazy assed nigga and keep me there to run some tests on me! I can’t have that either! I like to smoke a little weed and crack sometime and I had some earlier!

Scurv: Well brother on that note I hate to say it but have a good night! I might have helped you a little more but once you mentioned drugs we have nothing in common! You need to live a decent life and you wouldn’t find yourself out here with your butt out begging me for a ride home because you couldn’t control your horniness trying to get at a strange woman! It serves you RIGHT!

I immediately closed my doors against his wishes as I was really late now and had to hit the pedal to the metal to catch up on my schedule!

WOW!

As I watched him standing there confused and humbled as he got smaller and smaller in my sideview mirror I couldn’t help but think how most of us get ourselves into the fixes that we do because of our disobedience to divine law and just doing what is right. I am quite sure that he truly regrets this only because he got caught out there in the worst way and had some explaining to do once he got home. A compounded problem that he couldn’t foresee because of his uncontrollable lusts that were on fire within his heart long before he laid eyes on that beautiful trap of a woman.

And as far as she is concerned, I have to say more power to her, because she couldn’t exist with the hustle that she does if there weren’t men walking around town like him pretending that they are something that they are not.

It’s a jungle out here and only the strong survive. That is so true.

Yes, in this game called live many bad thing do happen to good people unfortunately but most of the time we bring things down on ourselves because we all feel that we can “break the rules” and get away with doing “a little something.” But it’s those “little somethings” that take us out of the desired trajectory of our vices are the very decisions made that could bring us to our death! That man could have been a great meal for those hungry alligators, raccoons, armadillos, possums, snakes, mosquitoes and whatever other nocturnal creatures were lurking about the back roads behind the hospital just licking their chops to consume a meal that would ward off another night of hunger.

We all have that inner voice that tells us what is right and what is wrong, the only thing is…….will we heed it?

I bet that when that man woke up that morning he would laugh in your face if you told him that late that night he would be behind the hospital in the dark begging the bus driver for a ride with no pants on in sight and his ass out. I bet he would really crack up!

But the day we die for the most part we will be going about our business as though our life will go on forever. Isn’t that something? Our lives are as vapor and are here today and gone tomorrow. Let us heed that inner voice so that we don’t find ourselves in a sorry state of affairs when it comes to being accountable to our every transgression in the eyes of our Creator.

It could be your ass out naked in public today but burning in hellfire tomorrow if we don’t get it right.

Hope you had not only a laugh but a reason to think about the things you have to correct in your life also because I know that I have a whole LOT of things to clean up so I am no better than that man out there with his balls swinging in the hot Florida night.

A typical night on my bus always hands me a hard lesson from which to learn from.

Peace.

 

 

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About The Author

Culture Critic, Podcast Host, Blogger, Cartoonist & Social Media Activist who focuses on the issues that the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch! Call/Text Direct: 407.590.0755

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  • Hi, I check your blogs like every week. Your writing style is witty, keep it up!

  • JoChurchman

    LOL….. SERVES HIS SORRY ASS RIGHT… LOL… YEA THIS MADE ME LLAFF.. NEEDS TO CLEAN HIS ASS UP.. BUY A RAZOR INSTEAD OF US9IN CRACK AND WEED… OMG… LOL….

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