Anyone who works with the public knows that there isn’t a day that goes by where your patience won’t be tested repeatedly in a rapid fire manner. After a time, if you as a public worker do not formulate your own style of navigating through the madness that will surely come your way, it will begin to “show” on you in the form of a bad attitude, a constantly stressed perception and prematurely aging.
I see it all of the time with my fellow coworkers who haven’t developed their own means of emotional/spiritual self defense that would at least protect them from some of the bad encounters that they reluctantly have to immerse themselves in on a daily basis.
There are days that are destined to be trouble free days but because of the “crud” that public workers carry over from their previously negative encounters, they won’t even experience what a wonderful day it truly is!
I’ve found that everyday is a great day no matter what amount of negativity comes your way, it’s all a matter of how you deal with it and how true will you be in defending/maintaining your inner peace and equilibrium.
This is not only for the brave individuals who with the public but for everyone because we ALL must deal with a bevy of unknown spirits and covert motivations coming our way through undisciplined entities to usurp our energies and hijack it for their own strange purposes.
With myself personally, I usually have something creative on my mind all day long which acts as a protective membrane that shields my inner self from the attacks that my obviously blissful state and abundant peace of mind will surely bring.
I’ve mentioned this before but when I am out in the crowded streets driving that forty foot bus my focus and awareness is so intense that it appears to others that I am in a trance-like state. What you have to understand is that there are people who will come outside from their home with the sole purpose of disrupting anyone who appears to possess even a infinitesimally small amount of self confidence and balance because they feel the burden of their lack of emotional/mental control and how to deal with their own personal challenges.
So they are swiftly drawn to your “peace” subconsciously because deep down inside they wish that they possessed that same tranquility that they can feel coming from you but just don’t know how to achieve it. So instead of backing up a bit to self reflect and untangle their own inner madness, they come at you in a way to “dump” their negativity onto you as though this will make them feel better.
This never works with me and those who attempt to steal my joy usually find out the hard way.
My morning meditation sessions are just too intense!
But this sure doesn’t stop people from trying! Lol!
This particular episode happened to me just two days ago on the first of February not only on my very first trip out on the bus but within the first sixty seconds of pulling my bus from the curb at the Downtown Orlando Bus station. I am quite sure that you have heard the saying that states to “be careful of what you ask for”, well, I am going to modify it a bit and say be that you should be “careful of what you profess!” what do I mean by that? Well, just mere moments earlier, I praised my Creator to myself under my breath and in my heart continually as I had just experienced the most beautiful morning from the moment I was awakened by God’s gentle whisper as I had also basked in the afterglow of a very rejuvenating slumber for a good hour after being fully awake.
Now to me, THAT’S A LUXURY!
I mean, if you really look at it, the way one wakes up can really dictate the rhythm of the rest of your day. So if I feel any manner of negativity in my midst, I rebuke it by taking on more positive thoughts but I must say that this never really happens to me from within as the negativity always comes at me from an external source.
I usually make my projected goals for the day as I lay in the bed, and after waking up and can almost promise a maximum span of productivity in the hours to come. I hold on to this mission in my mind as the day goes by and monitor frequently whatever creative project that I am working on even if I am occupied with the task of work or some other obligation. This is the secret to my efficiency. It’s a talent, a skill and a huge blessing! Because I can be on a crowded bus of very noisy passengers who possess all types of wayward spirits as well as the nice people who get lost in the fray and STILL be enabled to visualize every word that I intend to write or every stroke of the pencil to paper long before the creation is physically manifested.
There are many to whom I’ve met who knock their brains everyday for HOURS in front of the computer who cannot produce what I have been blessed to drop in the span of the little time that it takes for me to type the words that flow so effortlessly from my heart. This is not self righteousness, it is a testimony that when our Creator grants one with the use of a God given talent, that NO ONE can stop it, because as far as the world is concerned, I am merely a lowly bus driver with no intelligence. But when what so beautifully flows out of my heart and into the world is absorbed and digested, it is quite evident that this is something far beyond what could be manifested by my own might alone.
Why am I saying all of this?
Well, like I said before, be careful what you profess…….because while many will “see” the joy in your heart on a spiritual level as they too enjoy their personal journey of walking in the spirit, there will be those who see your joy also and will not like it. They will not like it because of the inner torment that they feel and do not want anyone in their midst to enjoy a life above the drama. So guess what? They will try to suck you into their madness! Can you blame them? Here they are in their mind suffering an intense and all consuming torment, and here I am glowing, centered and happy! They do not understand that there are consequences to dwelling on certain levels in this world. You cannot hang out with drunks if you in fact are not a wino. At least not for long. Why would someone continually hang out in the crack house and not be one that if they are not selling, then they are there to be smoking. If you call yourself a man of God and profess to be striving to live an upright existence, then why are you always at that woman’s house after hours with your car parked around the corner from her house when you KNOW that it’s not a holy motivation in the way you want to “lay hands” on her.
These hypocrites have the opportunity to dwell in the spirit just like the most dutiful of us but they will never achieve that blessing because they can’t let go of their vices. You can’t have both! It’s either one or the other.
So don’t be mad as you have to carry around the weight of your sin!
That being said, I believe the young lady who entered my bus that afternoon “felt” my peace of mind and was quite put off by it. I could sense it. I didn’t think it would go any further than it did but I did feel her discomfort in the three seconds that it took for her to swipe her fare card to pay for her ride. It’s funny. But as I’ve said before in some of my other blogs, I usually do not lock into any eye contact with those who enter my bus. It’s just too close and intimate a contact because if they are upset, I will feel it even more if I engage the eye contact with them. It also makes it harder for those wayward individuals to lure me into any confrontation because if anyone here really understands human nature, you will understand that the human predators will always choose their victims.
I don’t make it any easier for them.
Giving them eye contact gives them a quick assessment of who you are as a person and how far they can go with their games. This is all done in a split second, most do not understand this transaction but if you’ve worked in law enforcement or have lived a life in the streets, you know what I am saying is real because your very life depends on your ability to “discern” what is around you below the surface.
So after this young woman of about 19 or 20 swiped her card I noticed that she “sucked her teeth” in disgust as I also felt it had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t ogling her well exposed womanly adornments that I guess got her plenty of favor by the legions of lusty men who cross her path.
So I guess for me to not pay any attention to those massive set of prominently displayed milk engorged mammary glands made her to feel as though maybe she didn’t have much more going on after all. Many of our young girls who come into adulthood on a physical level are not emotionally equipped to handle the power of their womanhood and the effect it has on the world around them in how they act toward them. Some are ashamed of their physical development and hold on to their prepubescent activities while others embrace it fully even prostituting it for a happy meal and the mere petty shopping trips at the mall funded by the men who could double as their great grandfathers for a few hours of twisted fornication fueled by that little blue pill called Viagra.
Not every man stalks the planet in pursuit of the next bout of illicit sessions that result in the release of sperm, some of us understand the world and have conquered our own lower desires. It’s just that there are not enough of us so guess what? The majority rules. So I guess in her mind I was being rude for NOT ogling!
After she and her child who appeared to be approximately eight months old passed the yellow standee line on the floor of the bus, it was now time to creep forward at the legal five mile an hour speed limit until my bus was clear of the downtown crowd and off of the bus companies property as I would then be in the right to pick up my speed and follow the schedule to get everyone home on time.
But wouldn’t you know as soon as the bus moved forward only about ten feet I heard a profanity laced diatribe that came from the direction of where that young female (In hindsight I can’t call her a lady! You will soon see why.)
(Warning: If you find profanity offensive, please do not read anything below this line as I am sharing this story as it happened in its entirety.)
“Damnnnnn! You could have waited to move the god-damned bus you fuck-ass bitch bus driver! Bald bitch! Don’t you see I have a baby here with me? Fuck is wrong with you?”
Immediately I took control of the situation as I mentally jumped into another gear that would handle her ignorant and very inconsiderate verbal filth laced outburst!
“Ma’am, if you needed to communicate to me that you needed more time to get you and your child seated, then you needed to voice that to me, I didn’t see you behind the crowd. But I must tell you, while I can understand why you might be upset, your profanity laced offensive mouth will NOT be tolerated and if you choose to continue speaking to me in that manner you will have to be removed off of the bus immediately!”
You see, I had to lay it out there like that to cover my backside legally, I had to look past my own initial anger and not respond in a manner that would show that I wasn’t just as starved in the vocabulary department as she was. I knew from that first indication of her internal discomfort that she had a big problem with me even though she didn’t know me.
You see, in this life we feel that the world sees us as we are internally when in fact many wrong opinions may be formed of our character because of the tainted mentalities of those who have experienced something that was not too positive with someone who had something in common with me in a small or big way. The human mind has its own strange way of processing reality depending on our background and experiences. I have found this to be a subject of great interest to me.
Let me share with you an insight that I have become well acquainted with that many people are not even aware of. Personally, I am a hard working Black man who doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t engage in activities that would even remotely come close to breaking the law, who is disciplined, respectful, lives clean, pays my bills, loves peace etc. etc. …..you get the picture.
You can pretty much tell how a person lives on first sight after you have spent a few years on this earth. Your time in this world will give you a wisdom, an insight. So when you are a young girl with a baby and not very well schooled in the art of communication with all of the pressures of a grown adult but having absolutely NO EXPERIENCE in dealing with life except for knowing how to have sex then when all you have known is a man who is NOT hard working, drinks alcohol like it is going out of style, smokes weed to the point of losing his memory, regularly makes that call to you from the county jail to “go to the stash money under the mattress to get me bailed out of here”, has no discipline to focus on keeping a job for little more than two or three days, rude and disrespectful, hardly washes, doesn’t even think about paying his bills and loves drama then you are really not going to want to see someone like me because you now realize how jacked up the men you’ve dealt with really are!
Not that I am suggesting that I am all of that and a bag of chips, but it is what I represent on first sight. I have had many things thrown at me verbally because these young girls get angry when they realize that they have thrown their lives away by having a child or a batch of children from a no good man who doesn’t possess the wisdom to move his woman into any kind of security whatsoever. Security was the last thing that they were thinking of when they discovered the joys of their genitals and the overwhelming bliss that comes from the mutual blending of their sticky crotch sauces.
So automatically when a female of that caliber absorbs the image that I project, there is usually some type of explosion brewing. and because of my soft spoken demeanor, I can’t tell you how many times that I am called a “faggot” by some hoochie mama everyday because I will not engage her as the other men do. This thwarts the money game that so may of our young ladies get into when they realize the power of their vagina. So the attention that they might crave from me is not actually because of any desirable attribute that they think that I possess, quite the opposite, what it is is that on the lowest levels of the urban ‘hood existence and experience, a bus driver is bringing home HUGE money!
Nobody ever told me that. Where is all of that huge money? Surely not in MY check! LOL!
That’s the perception from what I hear everyday in the ‘hood.
But back to the one sided profanity laced exchange on the bus, she retorted; “Throw ME off of the bus? Motherfucker you MUST don’t know! What you NEED to do is drive this bitch before I report your stupid ass!”
I was now feeling the heat of her words, not because she had the power to upset me, but because I am seeing how the negative forces of the universe have descended upon my path in order to provoke me to make a scene and bite the bait to not only rob the joy that I just moments earlier professed to the Heavens but to make me lose my job and find myself in a sorry state of affairs just like her! Because if SHE was enjoying life as much a sI was, she wouldn’t have time to spew forth such undignified language in front of the child that she claimed to be protective of so much. Some example of a mother SHE is!
I expressed myself professionally, directly and calmly as I knew that this exchange was definitely going to escalate into something bigger but I made sure that I was in the right by the way I conducted myself according to company protocol.
I spoke very firmly; “Your profanity will NOT be tolerated as these hard working individuals do NOT want to hear the words that you have to say as it is not only disrespectful to you but it is disrespectful to your child!
OH NO! Why did I say that!
“Motherfucker you don’t need to worry about MY child ’cause I take care of MY child all by myself! And for the record bitch I will say what I want to say and you can’t do a DAMN thing about it! So what you need to do is mind you god-damn business fuck boy! These New York motherfuckers always movin’ down here and thinkin’ they the shit and tryin’ to run things! This the dirty south you little fuck-shit!”
Well, I had absolutely nothing else to say as I just turned out of the bus depot but was still on company property where we have several security officers as well as a few officers from the Orlando Police Department. What she thought was that I wasn’t going to do what I was about to do.
After attempting to contact a supervisor numerous times without any success, I noticed my buddy Sedrick walking by and asked him to summon a cop or a security officer to my bus. By this time I believe our feisty passenger had quieted down because I guess that she realized that I am a man of my word. Unlike most men, I do not bluff or make idle threats. I am that guy who will do as I say, but I guess as I said before, she will have to find out the hard way.
As the police officer approached my bus I guess he knew what my request was all about. I guess his day is filled with such conundrums from disillusioned people. I told him that I had an unruly passenger that needed to be escorted off of my bus and as soon as I said that, she buzzed past me so fast that I wondered where that tough talking woman disappeared to! WOW! She didn’t waist anytime getting off of the bus!
But it wasn’t over.
Here we go again…….
“Bitch, don’t think because I got off that I was scared of you you fuckin’ big headed bald ass dick sucking (What? No way! She picked the wrong set of genitals that I prefer! LOL! But if she said…….well, you know what I mean!) punk! I don’t have to ride on your bus anyway shit breath………”
And on that note, I closed the door in her face, smile the broadest smile of victory to the cop as he smirked back and was greeted with the loudest round of applause from my tired, hungry and frustrated passengers as they spoke out:
“You showed her bus driver!”
“That’s the problem with these young girls out here in the world today. They got nothin’ on their minds except partyin’ and hangin’ with those damn pant’s saggin’ dudes who got nothin’ going for them. Then, when they get pregnant and find themselves all alone with no money to raise that baby while the boy that got them pregnant is nowhere in sight, they want to be mad with the world!”
“I am so glad that you taught that girl a lesson driver, because the only way that she did that is because she probably gets away with that at home and she thinks that she can come out here on the street and talk to anybody like that! She needs a beat down or a trip to the damn jail!”
And yet another spoke some truth…….:
Every time I see one of our young Black girls carry themselves like that I see two parents who didn’t do their jobs. But the fact of the matter is that the State doesn’t want you to discipline you children because they can’t make any money from law abiding youngsters as they could when they get locked up. THEY want to discipline those same young kids when they grow up in the State Penitentiary, when they are disciplined by the parents you are messing with THEIR money in their mind! That’s why they tell the kids in school to call the cops on their parents! But I’ll be damned if mine do that to me because it will be the last time that they do! I will tell them to remind the cops to bring an ambulance and a couple of body bags because there are going to be some dead bodies up in this bitch!”
But the last passenger that spoke on it was the one who brought the incident into total perspective because she said that she had just come out of the child support court and heard that SAME young woman arguing with the court officers because she was pissed of that she couldn’t get any money from her child’s father (Baby daddy as she put it!) because he was mentally challenged and not fit to work!
So THAT’S why she was angry at the world and angry at the sight of this happy working man. She probably was so ticked off at herself when she realized WHAT she laid with without even thinking of the long term consequences of her actions. This is the way it usually plays out when I see so many angry young women who are hit hard with the reality of their situation. It’s a bed that they made and unfortunately have to lay in until things get better. So all I can say to all of my younger sisters out here who are free of such stress in their lives is to KEEP IT THAT WAY and understand that there are CONSEQUENCES in life for EVERY CHOICE that we make!
I hope you enjoyed not only my words, but the lesson intertwined within…….
See you tomorrow…….