Since I live in Los Angeles, meeting new people is like going to one of those elaborate masquerade parties (that I have only seen in movies but never been to). People are dancing around a ballroom floor with a beautifully painted mask to cover their true identity. They’re perfect for the occasion, but in everyday life, when you’re trying to form genuine connections, this gets pretty tiring pretty fast.
With that being said, there are key moments in everyone’s lives that are a test to their character. We all encounter them, but it’s how a person handles them that is extremely telling of how they act when their carefully constructed persona is taken down.
And rather than waiting for someone’s true character to reveal on its own, you can start to take notice of how they react in these certain situations, and show you someone’s true personality.
The Way They Drive
If you’re grasping on to the “Oh Shit” handle above the passenger door as someone twists around corners, cuts people off, and spouts absurdities that you thought were only reserved for Donald Trump’s Twitter account, then you may be in the presence of an overly-aggressive human.
If you own a car and have any sort of commute, chances are you drive every day. It’s part of life, something we just have to do. But like anything in life, how we handle the unavoidable says a lot about us as a person.
How a person acts when they’re driving is one of those moments that can help you understand if they’re a calm, collected person or if they’re always on edge and, to be frank, a bit of an asshole.
We’re all going to get to where we need to be eventually; flipping someone the bird won’t get you there any sooner.
How They Talk About People Closest To Them
When a person speaks of someone closest to them, the way they depict that friend reveals a lot. If they roll their eyes, exclaim “Ug, that bitch is always…”, and continues to divulge every minute detail of someone’s life that they claim to be close to, they’ve got some serious issues.
Maybe they’re projecting their insecurities onto their friend, perhaps they have some issues with attracting quality friends, or it could be they actually act in the same exact way as the friends they’re complaining about. Chances are, it’s a mixture of all three.
And chances are if they talk shit behind their friend’s back, they’re going to do the same behind yours.
The Amount of Times They Ask About You
If you want to know how conceited someone is, keep track of how many times they ask about you. Notice if they’re always talking about their latest promotion or turning the conversation to put the spotlight on themselves.
I’ve become very attuned to noticing this in other people because once you’re aware it’s a thing, it’s hard to ignore. As much as I love to hear about what is going on in someone’s life that I care about, I want to feel important too. And I want to spend my time with people that value my stories just as much as they value theirs.
The Way They Talk About Their Ex
It took me a long time to figure this one out. A lot of hearing both sides to a story. And a lot of considering if I was acting like the “crazy ex-girlfriend.”
But now I question the “crazy” ex story all the time. Was she really crazy? Or are you instead trying to negate how she felt or not own up to your own actions? Same goes for women too. Sometimes, people avoid owning up to their own wrongdoings as to not be seen in a negative light.
Come to think of it, when was the last time you heard someone say, “my ex-girlfriend had a lot that was going on in her life that she couldn’t handle in conjunction with our relationship. I could see it was causing her a lot of mental anguish and, for the sake of her sanity and mine, I decided to end things.”
Hmm.. almost never.
But if you ever do, you know you have someone with high emotional intelligence on your hands, and that’s a special human being right there. And let’s also not look past that saying nothing about their ex is a great sign too. It means they’re able to healthily move on from what is meant to be in the past.
How They React During a Mess-Up
Humility is an excellent quality to have, but not everyone possesses it. The moment someone messes up, whether it be at work or spilling a drink all over themselves, is going to tell you a lot about how humble they are.
If they can laugh it off or talk about the situation in a calm manner, then they’re a pretty humble, rational person. Embarrassment is, of course, inevitable, but you don’t need to act like a cocky jerk and blame others. That doesn’t make their mess-up any less apparent, and it’s only revealing that you’re not able to accept that all people make mistakes.
Their Reaction To “No”
When someone doesn’t get their way, they can either accept their fate, attempt to persuade someone differently, or start having an adult tantrum that is embarrassing to witness for you and those in the vicinity.
All three are indicative of different personality types, and it’s up to you to decide if they’re negative or acceptable qualities for someone you want to spend your time with. I would hope that, for your sake, an adult tantrum doesn’t take much considering. But you’d be surprised how much people are willing to look past.
How They Treat The Waiter
This is basic dating 101 but next time you’re on a date or at a restaurant with a friend, pay attention to how they treat the waiter. It’s telling of how they treat a person they assume to be below them or they are paying for their services.
Sure, you’ve come to a restaurant to be waited on. There are certain expectations that you have from a waiter: you hope for them to bring your food to you instead of pointing at in the kitchen and yelling, “grab it while it’s hot!”
But the respect someone shows people in the service industry simply because they’re another human being will let you know if they’re a caring, compassionate person. In fact, no one is above anyone else simply because of their choice of occupation. If they indicate they think otherwise, they’re probably an asshat.
Their Personality When They’re Drunk
Drunken words are sober thoughts could not be more accurate. Alcohol lets out inhibition run free, and often our word filters, amplifying parts of people’s personalities that they usually try to hide.
If someone acts aggressive and angry when they’ve had one too many drinks, then chances are they’re like that in general, alcohol just makes it come to the forefront. Observing someone when they drink and deciding if that’s the kind of person you want to be around isn’t such a bad idea. Soberly, people can hide a lot more than when they’re intoxicated.
How They Treat Their Mom
The first female relationship, and what is meant to be the strongest, a person forms is the one with their mom. There are a lot of horrible circumstances in which a person either had to cut off their mom or doesn’t have the option of having a relationship with them.
But for those that do, the way they treat their mom is indicative of many things. For guys, it can often times show the way they view females in general. If they’re quick to put their mom down or lack any sense of respect for her, chances are they’re going to be like that with other women in their life.
As for women, having a weaker relationship with their mom can be telling of how deep they’re able to form a relationship with other females. A mother-daughter relationship is a bit more complicated than that of a mother and son, though. So I will leave it at that.
A general rule of thumb: if someone treats their mother like shit, that’s a huge red flag.
Your time on this planet is precious. Your energy should be well-spent.
Don’t waste either on individuals that aren’t in alignment with your morals or the type of person you strive to be.
