The Weight of Waiting
A thought came to me the other night in the deepest recesses of my very nutricious state of R.E.M. sleep, and it stayed with me all day long. It was about no longer waiting for certain realities to manifest. I understood it as personal desires—deep, intimate longings, not necessarily physical, but something that speaks to the soul. When I received it, I felt an instant connection to it, as though someone who really knew me well put words to an emotion that had been stirring inside me for a long time.
For so long, we have been conditioned to wait. To suppress. To hold back our desires until they are deemed acceptable by a society that fears true expression. But what happens when we decide that waiting is no longer an option? What happens when we step into the fullness of our emotions, refusing to apologize for the depth of our longing?
Beyond the Physical: A Higher Connection
People often mistake desire for something intimate to be purely sexual. But what I seek—what my soul craves—is so much more than that. My longing is for connection, for a space where intimacy is not reduced to flesh but is instead a merging of energies. Bonding and even cuddling with the opposite sex, the simple act of closeness, is more profound than most understand. It is a silent conversation between souls, a dance of trust and vulnerability.
True intimacy is the freedom to express without restraint. It is the ability to exist without fear of judgment, to allow emotions to flow without the barriers of social expectations. It is laughing without measuring the appropriateness of joy, crying without shame, and touching without guilt. In a world that has grown cold and detached, such warmth is revolutionary.
A World That Feels Like a Prison
Why has the act of simply being human become a crime? Why does it feel like we are all serving a sentence in a prison of societal norms, where the most natural aspects of our existence are restricted?
People today are so disconnected from themselves that they fear raw, unfiltered emotion. They walk through life with shackles on their souls, afraid to feel too deeply, afraid to love too freely. The fear is palpable, pressing against the atmosphere like an unspoken law.
We have been taught to fear our own nature. To suppress our need for closeness, to view affection as weakness, to believe that detachment is strength. But what kind of life is that? What do we gain from living behind emotional bars, from locking away our most tender parts?
Choosing Freedom Over Fear
I refuse to live that way. I refuse to let society dictate how much love I am allowed to express, how much passion I am permitted to feel.
I Choose Freedom.
Freedom to embrace, to connect, to desire without shame. Freedom to live fully, without hesitation or the need to explain. To some, my desires may seem erotic. But that is only because they view the world through a lens of limitation, unable to understand the beauty of true emotional freedom.
I am no longer waiting for permission to be myself. The time for hesitation is over. The time for authentic living is now.
And in this moment, in this truth, I am free.
