There’s a tragedy unfolding right under our noses—one that we rarely discuss in public, yet it’s happening in our communities, our families, our churches. It’s elderly abuse, a heart-wrenching betrayal that hits hardest where trust is supposed to be strongest. While this abuse happens in every community, the Black community holds a unique complexity of trust and betrayal, often hidden in plain sight. I’ve seen it time and time again through people I know and those close to me, and it’s time to break it down, unmask the abusers, and put it all out there—raw, unfiltered, and in the style you know me for.
Betrayal from Family Members
Family should be the one safe place you run to when the world gets cold, but what happens when your own blood takes advantage of you? You’ve seen it—a grandchild who once looked up to their elder, now targeting them, manipulating for money, or even for a place to crash because they’re deep into drugs or just plain lazy. Some family members harbor resentment, jealous over who got treated better when they were kids, and they’re ready to pay it back in full by emotionally, mentally, and financially draining their elder. They’ll tell the old auntie, “I’m here for you, you can trust me,” all while pocketing their check, selling off their valuables, or draining their bank accounts.
Signs of this abuse are often subtle: sudden mood swings, unexplained withdrawals from social circles, or changes in an elder’s finances. You’ll notice Auntie doesn’t want you to come over anymore, or if she does, she’s not her usual self—quiet, withdrawn, almost like she’s been trained to stay silent. These are signs of abuse, and they often go unnoticed by family members who are too busy to pay attention to the minute changes.
The Church’s Role: A Double-Edged Sword
The Black church is often seen as a place of refuge, a place where our elders should feel safe and protected. But let’s not pretend it hasn’t also been a breeding ground for exploitation. Church members—people who should know better—sometimes take advantage of the elders’ trust, charging them ridiculous fees for services or ‘suggesting’ that they donate more than they can afford. These so-called spiritual guides often have their own selfish motives, and let’s be real, the only thing they’re guiding is their hand into the elder’s wallet.
Caregivers, Neighbors, and Lawyers—Oh My!
Caregivers who are paid to look after our elderly are another group that often betrays trust. They get close, learn every personal detail, and suddenly they’re signing checks or making ‘suggestions’ about selling property. Lawyers, who are supposed to protect the elderly, sometimes play into the same game. They’ll draft documents not in the elder’s favor, but in ways that serve someone else’s interest—oftentimes the abuser’s.
Then there are the neighbors. You know the type, always “checking in” but really scoping out what’s in your house, knowing you live alone, and offering to help only to manipulate their way into getting what they want. Strangers too, swoop in with scams, sweet-talking the elderly into foolish investments or donations to “causes” that don’t exist, draining whatever savings the elder has left.
Signs of Elder Abuse You Shouldn’t Ignore
- Sudden changes in mood or behavior – If you notice the elderly person becoming unusually quiet, withdrawn, or irritable, it’s a red flag.
-
Financial changes – Unexplained withdrawals, new credit cards, or odd purchases are a big sign someone’s tampering with their money.
-
Social withdrawal – If the elder suddenly doesn’t want to see people or has cut ties with friends, they may be emotionally manipulated or ashamed of their situation.
-
Depression – A growing sense of hopelessness or sadness could indicate emotional abuse or neglect.
-
Reluctance to speak openly – If they avoid certain topics or people, chances are there’s a bigger issue they’re afraid to speak about.
Fearmongering and Loneliness: The Abuser’s Weapons
Many elderly people, especially those with medical conditions, are afraid of being left without care. Abusers know this and prey on that fear. “Who’s going to take care of you if I leave?” they’ll say, forcing the elder into submission. Loneliness is another weapon. With peers passing on, elders often have smaller social circles and rely more on the few people who visit, even if those visitors have bad intentions. The fear of isolation keeps the abuse going, unreported, and unnoticed.
Scams and Schemes: How the Wolves Get In
There are plenty of ways an elder can be taken advantage of, and it doesn’t just stop at family or friends. Here are ten common scams used to exploit the elderly in the Black community:
- Fake lottery scams – Promises of winnings in exchange for a “small payment.”
-
Investment fraud – Convincing the elderly to invest in shady schemes.
-
Fake charities – Appealing to the elder’s generosity for non-existent causes.
-
Home repair fraud – Overcharging or not completing jobs after being paid.
-
Healthcare fraud – Charging for fake services or inflating medical bills.
-
Telemarketing scams – Persuading them to buy products or services they don’t need.
-
Caretaker financial abuse – Misusing bank accounts or forging signatures.
-
Family member loans – Promising to pay back money that never gets returned.
-
Legal manipulation – Changing wills or power of attorney without the elder’s true understanding.
-
Romance scams – Strangers pretending to be romantically interested for financial gain.
The Darkest Side: Sexual Abuse
Yes, it happens. And it’s perhaps the most heartbreaking of all. Sick individuals target elderly people for sexual abuse, sometimes using threats, coercion, or even drugging them. The elderly are often too ashamed to speak out, believing no one will believe them or fearing further isolation. Family members need to stay vigilant for sudden changes in the elder’s demeanor, especially if they seem fearful or depressed after spending time with certain individuals.
Protecting Our Elders
We must take responsibility as a community. Here’s how:
Designate a responsible person – Someone who is trustworthy and who will not exploit their power over the elder. If someone has power of attorney, there should be others involved to monitor and ensure everything is on the up-and-up.
Regular check-ins – Don’t just call; visit in person regularly to ensure things are as they should be.
Stay alert to financial changes – Keep an eye on their bank accounts, and watch for any signs of unusual spending or withdrawals.
Encourage open communication – Let the elderly know they can talk to you about anything, without fear of judgment or retaliation.
This issue is deeper than we often acknowledge, and while it might not be comfortable to confront, we must. Our elders raised us, supported us, and deserve to live their golden years with dignity, not in fear or exploitation. It’s time to protect those who once protected us.
Written with the insight of one who has seen too much, yet refuses to stay silent,
Have you ever had anyone in your circles experience elder abuse? Please share if possible in the comment section below.
Let us all continue to keep our eyes open as our elders need us!
Sincerely Written,
LanceScurv