We as human kind derive plenty of satisfaction from reaching our personal milestones.
Whether it may be a reunion of sorts that we attend on a yearly basis or maybe merely reminiscing on an achievement that meant so much to us many years ago.
Many of is tend to reflect back and derive a measure of strength as we forge forward with the life that we have in front of us and the unique challenges that our journey is sure to bring.
Personally, while I never thought about it ahead of time, hitting the half century mark has turned out to be a glorious personal milestone for me after the fact, and while for many it may be a reason for depression (ex: "I'm really getting old now!"), for me this new perspective has blessed me with a renewed energy to reach new heights and achievements.
In my own personal experience at this junction point in life, I've noticed that certain pressures are off of me because now in many interpersonal scenarios I'm considered "the old guy."
I can wear striped pants and polka dotted shirts if I want to and nobody would laugh or care. I had to match my colors and be very fashionable when I was younger because that's the way it is but now that stress to be so cool is gone! I can be myself and not be judged by it.......I'm FREE!
I can remember when I was much younger and feeling very much like Superman that I used to wonder what it would be like to be that older man and what type of joys if any would I experience when the prospect of old age is looming over your life like a deadly thunderstorm that wasn't anticipated by the weatherman on the previous night's evening news.
Now that I'm at this point right now I'm very pleased to say that it's a wonderful place to be.
But I'm not going to tell you any falsehoods, when I was younger I kind of feared getting older and now I know that it's only because I could only see into life but so far and had very little wisdom when compared to the depth of understanding that I have in the present.
In actuality I truly love my life the way it is more so now as an older individual than I ever could when I could leap tall buildings in a single bound! Lol!
You laugh just as hard.
Orgasms are just as delicious.
You know your likes and dislikes even more so.
.......and it doesn't take as much to satisfy you because you can go straight to the point of your bliss even faster.
I believe it's because my wisdom has increased and my priorities have surely changed. Before I needed the stimulation of many people around me as I was the perpetual life of the party. Now just to have a quiet weekend at home with my wife is the most exciting indulgence that I could ever think of having.
Just knowing that the quality conversations, home cooked meals that no restaurant could never rival and the intense isolation from the outside world along with the sense of genuine authenticity that one can experience when they know that they're not sharing company with a fly by night entity but someone who is truly committed makes a big difference.
But aside from that, life has a way of playing its little jokes on you as you get older if you've learned from your bad choices and have conquered your major vices if you've had any.
Back in the days when my testosterone levels were overflowing like a tsunami on steroids, it seemed as though my mind was consumed with the sweet released that could only be achieved in the company of a willing to please young lady. Which wasn't really a problem for me at all to attain, but now that I'm older (And very much married), I don't even think about those things as they have vaporized off of my radar and list of priorities.
Now even when I do get an appreciative glance or a more direct proposition from someone of the opposite sex, I laugh it off and merely take it as a compliment. Now if this was thirty years ago.......
But one of the biggest realizations that I now have at this age is that I can finally see how we are merely passing through in this life. When you are younger, your neighborhood seems so vast and endless, but as you get older and your awareness of the world increases then you begin to grow out of those sweet boundaries that could never be replaced in your sentimental mind. Going back is always bittersweet because you can see how limited you were in your mentality yet feel good because those were your humble beginnings.
It happens to all of us but the really sad part of those heartfelt journeys is when you see someone who is your same age group still there thinking that the old neighborhood is the most important and ONLY place in the entire world! And they don't even have a clue that they're suspended in a time period that has long gone and vaporized!
This is when a cherished milestone can become that monster that you were scared of as a child in your darkened bedroom at night. We never want to become that guy yet in many ways we can also get stuck in the other aspects of our lives undetected under the guise of normalcy.
We have to strike a balance with our past, present and future. If at anytime you find yourself stuck in any three of these places for too long, then you know that it's time to venture into the other two options or you will surely be headed to the land of madness.
I'm guilty of losing myself so deeply into my work in the present that I lose touch with the fact that the years are flying by as I'm unknowingly catapulted into the future. Sure, I look and feel productive, but how long can I be detached from involving myself in the world around me which in fact is what I derive my inspiration from even if it did come from the past?
The milestones begin to get blurred as the holiday seasons (Which I have to admit I do not celebrate anymore) come back just as fast as they left. So with my perception of time being thrown off by the clock rushing my life like it does, I've escaped into that place where time matters not, and that is my creative zone.
You see, while my external milestones are precious and plenty, they've never dictated what my true drive would be from within as many people do. Many strive for the external milestones while mine are captured and experienced from within. When you are a creative wizard you understand that to open yourself up before the creation is completed and born properly is like opening the oven door wide and expecting the meal to cook on time.
You must have an incubation period where the world is literally shut out and a time when you yourself is kept under wraps. It's the way of nature and the process that God condones through His creation.
So if you haven't retained anything from this writing know that you must settle down to always keep yourself connected to that divine voice from within and know that you cannot remain stuck in any one "gear" of time for you to remain fresh and available to rise to to the occasion when destiny beckons.
I am no guru by a long shot but I have greatly mastered myself through self control and keeping my senses clear and filters clean to be able to "read" any situation or person around to know what action to take to maximize my efforts and never getting caught up in the negativity.
By the way, this was a free flowing creatively written piece that the majority of those who read this may not be able to understand. That's okay, because in time you will understand because of your own personal growth but know that I've promised many of those who enjoy my work to take it to the next level and not hold back.
If you need any further explanation of anything here I've written, then please drop me a dime on the phone or text.
Peace & Righteous Love Always,
Your Evolving Brother,