We can sometimes be our own worst enemy! Why is it that many of us are so relentless in our pursuit of demeaning each other and putting each other down when we know that we have some massive skeletons that lurk in our closets?
What's THAT all about?
For those of us who have a positive plan that we are trying hard to bring into fruition does that mean that we have to be paranoid about EVERYBODY around us? If we talk about a life of sport and play then we don't get too much resistance.
If we speak about our many risky sexual escapades and how downright freaky we can get then we will never have a problem. But if we speak on living a clean upright life pleasing to God's eyes then WATCH OUT!
You will be considered the outcast!
Even if you are completely submerged in a life of sin and you even share the mere thought of coming out of it, you will be attacked in a way to pull you back down. The forces that be will formulate something especially made for you to appeal to you to catch you in it's trap!
And then the cycle continues.....whether it be gambling, drugs, sex addictions....even WORKING too much! Whatever your weakness may be. I can remember back in my younger days when I had a extremely strong weakness with women. It wasn't actually a problem with them per se'....but in my day to day dealings with women I had a weakness to where I couldn't say NO even if I tried!
I mean, it was BAD! Like an intoxicant! I would get caught up!
Here I am minding my own business and here comes an extremely friendly and attractive woman in my path and after a short few moment it was OVER! You see, by me being friendly without any predatory motives made it even worse. Especially since I have been blessed with a natural charm that many found appealing.
Many ladies are just not used to that. Most ladies are used to a man being nice for a reason....and we all know what that reason is. But I have always been the type of person who just preferred to "kick it" with someone just because. Why can't a man share his precious male energy without having to always "go there" and cash in on the newly discovered trusted intimate proximity that a woman may have allowed you to now enjoy? Why can't we just leave it at that? And why must we as men always put a women's defenses up by disappointing her time and time again after she made her decision to allow us into her intimate space in the first place?
Now, I must admit I knew what might happen when allowed to venture in this space, but I was too weak in this area of my life to be able to resist....as is the case with most men in the world. But I would NEVER make the first move! And the one thing that I am proud to say is that my father taught me was to never attempt to take from a women what a women was not craving to give...never be a predator!
There was absolutely NO pleasure derived if a lady did NOT want to go there on her own desires and cravings. I mean, THAT was the turn on, that she was down to go there with me because SHE wanted it too! But I was ALWAYS a gentleman and it seemed that as SOON as I would make up my mind to stay too myself and focus on something without the distraction of a new romance or escapade, here comes something that seemed too good to be true to the point where I would just give in 'cause it looked as though it would be better than the BLAST that I experienced before!
I could write a book about my comical and colorful formative years. I guess this is what has helped to give me such tremendous insight into the essence of a woman. So I know that it wasn't all bad.....
But these women that I crossed paths with in the past were not evil, I am not demonizing them at all....but it seems as though some magic power would put them there and I would find myself involved in some way whether it was for a week, a month or a night....And while I have always had a healthy sense of self esteem, I have found that as a Black man growing up in this country, that for many of us the only thing that we THINK that we can seem to master in this draining imbalanced racist system here in America is the acrobatics of the bedroom. So now we focus on what we know and what we do well (Some do exaggerate their claims indeed! Ain't I right ladies?) in this area in order to counter balance the oppressive mentality & hopelessness that we feel in the world instead of delving into areas outside of our comfort zone in order to personally grow!
Now I knew better than this because I was raised by parents who taught me so much more than what any school could expose me to. But I guess I had to find out for myself. So the more we BRAG about our phallic or oral sexual skills (I'm not talking about myself now, although as a young man I did have a buddy or two who might have called "the day after" to tell them "the details", but that is a part of growing up!), is the more we as men are trying to cover up an area that we KNOW is deficient.
We speak about how huge our organs are but don't concern ourselves about how we can develop great character or working hard toward a massive and diverse financial portfolio.
We speak of how we can "go down" for hours but we just can't "hold down" a job sometime only but FOR a few hours.
Our young Brothers (And not so young!) try to pull as many lace panties down as possible to get as much backside as we can but find it IMPOSSIBLE to find a belt and pull our pants up over our own backsides in the street!
This is not all of us, there are some good studious hard working brothers out here. But there are far TOO MANY of us out here that fit the former description. We are made to conquer the world and bring it into submission as the Bible says but we have been basking and sauteing in an educational system and docile mindset that was never meant to empower us.
Revolution is not just picking up a damn gun although a times that could be a part of it when necessary, but it's more so picking up a book that has within it a seed that once placed in the soil of your hungry, starved & deprived minds and watered with the life changing truth can actually help it to change from the bottom feeder mentality that the children of your former slave masters benefit from YOU having!
But as long as you are connected to what keeps you in the vicious cycle of addiction, you will never see this! Women have ALWAYS been my addiction, can't you tell by the way I can sketch such an awesome physical female form? It's because more than anybody I know on this planet rich or famous, I have been there and done that so many times over.
So I have had to saturate myself with the divine knowledge to counter balance and break the cycle from which I have always had a problem with abstaining from....and as with any stronghold that we may be locked in personal struggle with, I always will have to guard it till the day the Creator calls me home!
But in my travels I might be able to shed light on an issue that many may be struggling with as we don't view it as a bad thing in this society but it is. It is breaking up families, breaking hearts and destroying lives! Lord knows we have enough issues to struggle with. We are spending too much precious time in denial of the issues that we need to address. It kind of reminds me of those old silent films where you have two adversaries fighting on a train track, they are so caught up in beating down each other that they never notice the oncoming train coming there way with an inability to stop until it is too late! Are you locked in a personal struggle that causes you to be your own worst enemy?
Only you can answer that question honestly to yourself.