Hoochie-Mama 101: Class Is In Session!

My mind was all over the place earlier today about this subject. I never set out to speak on something specific, it just comes to me out of nowhere, I swear.

It’s always been that way with me my entire life and I didn’t realize until recently that not everybody has that ability. I guess this explains why I was never bored growing up as a child.

But on this day I reluctantly had my fill of the phenomenon known as the “Hoochie-Mama.”


It’s not that my spiritual and emotional resources were low at the time, it’s just that I didn’t want to waste the precious resources that I had on the senseless confrontations that these aggravated hood-rats are known to bring.

Excuse me for the name calling, but you might have an idea of why I speak the way I do after reading this blog article. First off for those who don’t know my work, let me say that I totally honor the sanctity of Womanhood. I do not hate women nor do i have a problem with women as so many men do.


My issue is with the type of woman who willingly degrades herself for profit and refuses to carry herself with dignity in a world where the universally accepted way of seeing a woman is becoming more and more lowdown.

I am going to speak plainly and right to the point in this article, just know that I do not feel that this is every woman.

Hoochie-mamas are an engineered life form that can only be found in the exact conditions in the inner city urban areas of the United States. The reason that they can only be found there is that the necessary ingredients for a Hoochie to actually become a Hoochie are all there.


To grow up to actually blossom into a Hoochie Mama is a sad thing indeed, for the God above never intended for any Woman to be that as He had greater plans for the lives of those who morphed into that common state of being.

When a Hoochie-Mama makes an entrance, you can best believe that she WILL get noticed! The loud profanity laced language, the exposed cleavage with hints of nipples and a tattooed butt-crack where underwear is a thing of the past are all the tools needed to bring a mans attention to them only as it appeals to his lower desires in the promise of a quick freaky piece of ass!

Hoochies know this and work it to their best advantage and most of the time are not even thinking about sex, they’re thinking about what they can get OUT of that man money-wise while he is thinking about getting some sperm up in her! Fair trade? never! But in her mind it’s just another day at the office!

Hoochie Mamas (HM) grew up to feel that the power of their sex is the only thing that they have to offer. They grew up watching their Mothers and Aunts go through major drama with the men that they were romantically/sexually connected to and took the advice of these damaged predecessors to heart when they were told that you don’t “give up” a damn thing until you get something (Money) up front first!

These budding HM’s already knew most about sex from their developmental years and had far more experience with sexuality with men who were far older than them over the young ladies across town who lived in what was considered a more favorable zip code. But to tell the truth, the so called “good girls” were having just as much sex as the HM’s, the difference is that for the HM’s their indulgence was more about survival as opposed to the recreation element of the so called good girls.

Hood Street

The funny thing when comparing the good girls (and I don’t mean to infer that the HM’s are actually all bad, but is what it is.) to the HM’s, the good girls and their families put a premium on reputation because they do value their futures even if their good girl daughter got pregnant at an early age.

Abortions for the most part in the so called favorable zip code has become the silent answer to keep that good girl (GG) with a fighting chance to make something of herself in the competitive job market.


Reputation means absolutely nothing to the HM, if anything, a reputation for being a straight nasty FREAK is something favorable as it’s good for business.



While I’m not saying that HM’s are all straight up prostitutes, they do know how to prostitute their adornments to get a the maximum financial return from the fool who would actually take the time to spend any money on them.

Why else do you think that they would spend their child support money on such extravagant weaves while stretching their money with cheap makeup and clothes from the local hood mall.In these low grand establishments the majority of vendors are either Korean, Indian or some other Middle Eastern nationality who knows the secret to getting rich is to sell their cheap wares to the flamboyant Ghetto Diva’s called HM’s!
 But HM’s live in the here and now. They think not of the future because in their world the future doesn’t happen for too many people.
Quick pleasures to escape the pain of knowing that the world doesn’t embrace you no matter how hard you try is the order of the day.

While most HM’s have enough sense not to mess with hardcore drugs, most will smoke weed or get drunk on a regular basis. This of course is when they are with their girlfriends going out to the club or in the process of getting ready to have sex.

HM’s prefer to travel in packs and when you see one you’ve seen them all. When they travel this way one of them can usually finish the sentence that the other one started. While HM’s will often have major issues amongst each other because of something petty, they do not tolerate any disrespect of their girlfriends who are not currently on their shit list.

HM’s are very careful to stay in their corner of their world and can detect a kindred Hoochie spirit a mile away. It’s not hard for a hoochie to feel right at home when venturing off to a different city to visit family especially since we have this thing called Facebook.

 You can often see the Sisterhood of Hoochie-ism transpire in public when two previously Hoochie-Mamas who don’t know each other share a laugh and one will always ask: “Girl, what’s yo’ Facebook?” as a way of keeping in contact to broaden their reach into the many cities that they travel too where they have family.

You never know when that long distance connection can come in handy as a HM when that jealous boyfriend who just got out of lockup stalks you because he found out that you were giving his buddy some sex! It’s called the Hoochie-Mama Drama Exchange Program!

Works like a charm!

The exchange program for HM’s is also a great thing when her man doesn’t want her to have that baby that she’s pregnant with and threatens to beat her if she doesn’t have an abortion! So when you see a new HM who is definitely not from the area and from somewhere FAR away, that means that she was raising hell or was running away from some kind of drama that was too hot to deal with!


But the Hoochie game is a tough one no matter how much they seem to be on cloud nine because of the Section 8 Housing, Welfare Benefits, Food Stamps, Child Support and the entire host of tax payer subsidized goodies that come with the package.

One of the reasons why it is so tough to maintain a high ranking in the competitive world of HM’s is that there’s competition arriving new and out of the box every year! New Hoochies are the enemy to a veteran HM’s pocket book and “quality” of life because the men and the extra money that comes with it most often are compelled to try something out new.

So the veteran Hoochie must stay up on top of her game and this means dressing as trashy and provocative as she possibly can. While many don’t understand why these  women dress in such a fashion you have to understand that it’s all about survival!

But eventually the Hoochie game catches up with all of them, old age is no friend for a Hoochie and deep down she knows this. Some hold on to the very end and try to play the game well into years where she begins to look like a fool.

Pregnant Hood Rats

This is sad indeed.

Are these misguided ladies predators or are they simply the victims to the environment that they grew up in and are merely reacting to it in the best way that they know how?

One thing’s for sure, the Hoochie mentality will continue to mushroom out as long as there are inner cities devastated with poverty, illiteracy, teen pregnancies, crime, drug money and the sense of hopelessness that comes when one is exposed to things early on that no young girl should ever have to struggle with.


So the next time you encounter one of these loud foul mouthed Sisters in public or even worse, cursed out by one for no apparent reason whatsoever, understand that these girls are in a lot of pain.

You see, somehow someway, they know that they were NOT created in this fashion by the God above and are not receiving the fulfillment that they truly crave in living this decrepit lifestyle.

Peace & Righteous Love Always,

Your Perceptive Brother,


About The Author


Related posts

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x