All human beings crave some of the same basic things. ….respect, love, attention, belonging and to be desired, wanted and needed to name a few. When a person doesn’t have these basic needs fulfilled, then trouble may just around the corner.
Emotions are very powerful, feelings seem to sometime have a mind of their own making the person in need of satisfaction do things that they usually just wouldn’t seem capable of doing under different circumstances.
While most of us are very well equipped to put on an exterior facade to the world to appear to be emotionally healthy, but the fact of the matter is that many of us are in need of some immediate professional intervention of some sort.
Its like the usual story that we often see on the nightly news where someone who seemed to have it all just turned around out of nowhere and did harm to their entire family before doing something drastic to themselves.
We gasp in shock because for those of us who may have known this individual, we would have literally swear that they could never ever do such a terrible thing. Just goes to show you, you just don’t know what thoughts are in someones head and what they are really capable of doing.
We in this society have focused on the wrong things in our pursuit of a false happiness and are now suffering the consequences of our misdirected energies.
While we are diligent in not missing a workout to keep our bodies in excellent shape, we avoid self evaluating ourselves on a deeper internal level to understand and embrace our “swept under the rug” pains so that we can live a life that is proactive and not only reactive. I have found that there is a big difference.
We must learn to face our yearnings and voids, our insecurities and hang ups, if not, we will spend a lifetime babysitting issues that should have long ago been aggressively purged from our being. This makes it very difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone because you are still fighting your inner demons from the past.
These issues although unseen, are an unwanted guest and burden in our lives that even though invisible to the naked eye, have plenty of influence on every single decision we make in our lives major and minor.
Its almost as though we have these emotional minefields embedded into our very makeup and others have to be very leery not to step the wrong way with us or face the consequences of our misjudgments.
“You know how your father gets when he drinks, why would you bring up the cookout five years ago where he and your uncle got into that fistfight that he lost?”
……because of their father’s insecurity in an unfortunate incident that was never resolved and settled between him and his brother, the whole entire family had to be afraid to speak of a family gathering that was otherwise a really fun time.
“Your wife seems to be very controlling of your mutual finances, she spends freely and moves about freely as she feels but you never are allowed access to spend as your wish within reason or go and come as you please on your days off and its not fair. It seems as though you are being punished for the philandering actions of her ex husband, its not fair and its not right.”
…….the insecurities of the wife are imposed on the current husband through the limitation of his movement and his inability to spend a little money in a responsible manner within the budget as he pleases. All because she hasn’t gotten over the traumatic treatment of an ex-husband who has long become a thing of the past in body alone.
“Girlfriend, you look so good in that dress and I think its a doggone shame that you don’t want to go out with us tonight for a night on the town because you feel as though you are overweight. Your boyfriend only tells you that you look terrible because he is insecure about how good you look since you lost that eighty pounds last year and knows someone else would love to have you as their mate, especially since he is so controlling and loves to fuel your unfounded sense of low self esteem.
…….by tapping into preexisting sense of low self esteem that was a constant yet unwanted companion to this young lady before she lost that substantial amount of weight, her boyfriend was able to control the unconditional joy, influence her movements and filter the love derived from the friendships in her personal life even when he was not even present!
There are so many people out here in the same predicament but instead of seeking help, they just grin and bear it while the monkey on their backs wears them down and drains their precious life force.
Ignoring the fact that we must do this mental/emotional/spiritual house cleaning won’t suffice, as the evidence of our sweeping it under the rug will constantly appear in our inability to forge truly close relationships with others and make it damn near IMPOSSIBLE to enjoy TRUE intimacy.
Our issues block us from fulfilling the mandatory basic needs that we have as human beings like the butter keeps the egg from sticking to the frying pan! Some of our unfinished business will forever keep us from experiencing the ultra blissful highs and joys of true love as we waltz through life piggy backing an issue that could have easily been shed with effort of self evaluation, brutal honesty and professional counseling.
Often times if we really look back honestly on the failed relationships, problems in our places of employment, or the common negative issues that continue to appear in the different aspects of our life that are unrelated and separate, we will have to admit that we had something to do with them. Only when we take responsibility for these obvious signs can we put ourselves back on the path of healing. But if we choose to continue to ignore them then like the garbage in our trash cans that’s not taken out in a timely fashion, it will begin to stink. It will begin to stink up every good quality that we have to share with the world because the stench will overshadow everything about us.
So in order to receive all of our basic human needs we have to be able to keep our filters clean so we don’t block ourselves out from the beautiful life that is around us. Most of the time when we think it is a cloudy day it is actually the lenses of our bifocals that we are wearing that is smudged with the residue from our own hang ups and quirks.
Clean house meditate and learn to love the world around you. To do so wouldn’t cost you one thin dime, yet afterwards you will feel as though someone handed you a million bucks……….
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