Independence Tastes Bitter When You’re Eating Alone
Time has a way of slipping through our fingers, moving faster than we ever anticipate. That reality hit me hard today when I was awakened by a flood of over a thousand messages informing me that former heavyweight boxing champion George Foreman had passed away at the age of 76. It was yet another reminder of the fleeting nature of life. Though we all must transition from this existence, I don’t believe most people truly grasp just how brief this journey is—how the older we get, the faster time seems to move.
So many of us spend our lives caught up in the race for success, material gain, and fleeting pleasures, never stopping to truly absorb the richness of life itself. We are so preoccupied with accumulating wealth, chasing career milestones, and maintaining a façade of achievement that we fail to recognize the beauty of the present moment. But as time marches on, those who once prided themselves on their independence, their self-sufficiency, and their rejection of traditional roles often find themselves in a place they never expected—alone, reflecting on what could have been.
For many women who chose careers over companionship, who embraced the feminist doctrine that told them they didn’t need a man, the passage of time brings a sobering realization. Decades spent climbing the corporate ladder, competing in a system never designed for their fulfillment, and measuring success by the standards of a culture that does not prioritize family or community often lead to a bitter truth: independence, when forced, is not liberation—it is isolation.
And so, there she sits, an African-American woman in her late fifties, alone at a luxurious restaurant, surrounded by young couples lost in the glow of love. Their laughter and intimate glances cut through her solitude like a knife, forcing her to confront the choices that led her here. Once, she believed that she was rising above the struggles of her ancestors, breaking chains, setting a new standard. She believed that by choosing career over commitment, by rejecting the traditional role of a wife and mother, she was securing her freedom. But now, as she picks at her meal in silence, she wonders: At what cost?
Her children, if she has any, have long since moved on with their own lives, no longer needing the mother who once sacrificed everything for financial stability. The friendships that once filled her weekends have faded, as everyone else has retreated into the warmth of their own families. The status she once held in the workplace has begun to wane, replaced by younger, hungrier professionals eager to take her place. And as the years stretch ahead, she realizes that the loneliness she once dismissed as a myth is now her reality.
Perhaps she still attracts the occasional younger man, drawn not by love but by convenience, by the promise of financial incentives or the fleeting pleasures that she, as the glorified friction provider that she has reluctant become can provide. But deep down, she knows it’s not companionship—it’s a transaction, a momentary escape from the void that has slowly consumed her heart. And as she watches the couples around her—laughing, whispering, sharing their meals—she feels something she never thought she would: regret.
This is the fate of so many who bought into the illusion that they could rewrite the natural order, that success could replace intimacy, that material wealth could fulfill the soul’s deepest longing. But the truth remains unchanged: humans are meant for connection, for partnership, for the balance and joy that come from loving and being loved.
Now, as she clips coupons for bulk purchases of cat food, she wonders what it would have been like to sit across from a loving husband, reminiscing about the years they built together. She wonders what it would have felt like to be cherished, to have someone to hold her hand as they aged, to share memories instead of merely collecting possessions. But time does not offer second chances.
Independence tastes sweet when you’re young and the world is at your feet, but when you’re eating alone in your twilight years, it becomes a bitter pill to swallow.
The Illusion of Independence
Modern feminism, corporate incentives, and government welfare policies have encouraged Black women to embrace independence at the cost of companionship. Many young women in their 20s and 30s dismiss the need for a man, believing they can handle everything alone. However, as time passes, many find themselves in their 40s and 50s, successful yet lonely, realizing too late that independence does not replace love, family, and emotional fulfillment.
I’ve seen this firsthand—women I knew in my younger days who prioritized money over meaningful relationships now reach out, wondering why they’re alone. When we were younger, they saw me as unworthy because I didn’t meet their lofty financial expectations. Now, despite my success, I wouldn’t trade places with them. This article isn’t about bitterness—it’s a wake-up call for younger women to avoid the same regret.
1. Rejection of Femininity: The Trap of Masculine Energy
Women were told to be “strong and independent,” but in doing so, many abandoned the natural qualities that complement a man—gentleness, humility, and cooperation. Instead, they became aggressive, ego-driven, and hardened by the corporate world. Men don’t want to compete with their woman; they seek a partner, not a rival.
Scripture: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18, NKJV)
Reality Check: Submission doesn’t mean servitude—it means harmony. A woman’s natural softness draws a man in, while aggression repels him.
2. The Independence Delusion: No Man, No Problem?
Many women were led to believe that financial independence meant they didn’t need a man. But independence is not a replacement for intimacy, emotional support, or legacy.
Now, after decades of “doing it alone,” many cry themselves to sleep, wondering why they rejected good men in their prime.
Scripture: “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18, NKJV)
Reality Check: Independence isn’t a goal; it’s a survival mechanism. Companionship is what brings joy.
3. Men Are Tired of Being Used, Then Blamed
Many good men were burned early—they provided love, leadership, and provision, only to be disrespected, cheated on, or dismissed for men with more money. They learned their lesson. Today’s men are prioritizing peace, choosing younger, softer women who bring joy instead of power struggles.
Scripture: “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” (Proverbs 14:1, NLT)
Reality Check: A good man wants a partner, not an adversary. If you spent years pushing men away, don’t be shocked when they stop knocking.
4. High Standards with Low Value: Why Older Women Struggle
Many women refuse to adjust their standards even as their value diminishes. They still expect a six-figure, emotionally intelligent, faithful, romantic man—without offering youth, femininity, or peace in return.
Scripture: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18, NKJV)
Reality Check: A woman in her 40s demanding the same caliber of men she rejected in her 20s is delusional.
5. Delusional Dating: Fantasy vs. Reality
Women were told they could “have it all,” but life doesn’t work that way. Many waited for the perfect man, dismissing good men, only to realize too late that their options had dried up.
Scripture: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, NKJV)
Reality Check: Time is not a woman’s friend in dating. Don’t waste your prime years chasing fantasies.
6. Feminism’s False Promise to Black Women
Feminism wasn’t designed for Black women. It encouraged them to reject their men, unlike other races where women still married and built with their men. The government replaced the Black man with welfare, making many women believe they didn’t need a husband. Corporate America exploited this, hiring Black women over Black men to check diversity quotas.
Scripture: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18, NIV)
Reality Check: The system set Black women up for failure by separating them from their men.
7. Late-Life Regret: The Table Is Empty Now
After decades of rejecting men, many women try to “come back to the table” at 40 or 50, but the chairs are stacked and the men have left the room. They glamorized casual flings, mocked marriage, and chased superficial goals—only to end up alone.
Scripture: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7, ESV)
Reality Check: You can’t reject good men for 20 years and expect them to be waiting for you.
A Message to Young Women
This isn’t about attacking women—it’s about helping younger women avoid the mistakes of their elders. Feminism lied to you. Corporate America used you. The government tricked you. And now, many are waking up alone, wondering why.
I’ve seen it firsthand. Women who once scoffed at me for not making enough money now call me, asking why I chose my wife over them. The answer is simple—my wife valued love, loyalty, and peace over superficial wealth. Those women spent decades chasing status, only to find themselves alone while I build my life in Ghana, enjoying a home filled with love.
If you’re a young woman reading this, let this be your warning: don’t wait until it’s too late. Don’t let pride, ego, and modern lies rob you of the very thing you’ll crave most in life—genuine companionship.
There is nothing wrong with having a career, with striving for success, or with achieving financial independence. But do not let these pursuits come at the cost of what truly matters. A fulfilling life is built on balance. If you desire a family, prioritize it from a young age. Find a partner who shares your vision and build together. Life will never be easy, but as husband and wife, you can navigate challenges side by side. By the time you reach retirement, your children will be grown, and you’ll have a spouse to reminisce with—to share the fruits of a life built together. That is the real joy.
What good is a high credit score and a six-figure salary if you have no one to share your success with? What is the value of climbing the corporate ladder if, in the end, you’re left staring at a pile of assets with no family to inherit them? The feminist dream of independence at all costs has led too many Black women into a lonely existence, where the only thing waiting for them in old age is an estate lawyer ready to divide their wealth among strangers or, worse, let it default to the state.
The greatest legacy is not the job title you held or the money you made—it is the love you shared, the family you nurtured, and the generations you left behind. The women of the past understood this, and they found fulfillment in the richness of family life. Do not let modern lies seduce you into a system that will use you, discard you, and leave you empty. Build something real. Choose a path that will bring you love, legacy, and lifelong companionship.
Because independence tastes bitter when you’re eating alone.
