Is Your Man Only With You Because He Needs Another “Mother-Enabler” To Sleep With?

I know the title of this blog caught your attention but I am coming out swinging in this one so if you have to duck my verbal assault or are angered by the words within then you might have some house cleaning to do.

What did I actually mean by the title? Well I didn’t mean that your man was physically looking to sleep with HIS mother, although their are some extremely sick and twisted individuals out here in the world who might be into that type of thing. I’ve seen crazier stuff in my day. But I am talking about the type of man-leech who has no motivation at all to contribute to the situation that he happens to be in which is the LEAST that any man can do or at least step up and BE a real man.

Now first off all, I am focusing mostly on the men out here but there ARE undoubtedly some women who are cut from this same dysfunctional cloth. So men, if you ARE doing the right thing this isn’t for you, but I feel that I HAVE to speak on this issue because in my job dealing with the public and being in the streets all day driving that bus, I feel as though I am MORE than qualified to speak on what I see because I spend more time interacting in the streets than most.



More than ever before I am seeing not only men who have not one iota of drive and vision for their future, but this seems to be the prevailing mindset of many in the younger generation! Now while there are many of our young striving for excellence either educationally or the mastery of a trade, it appears to me that the majority of our younger folks are content to remain as a deadbeat members of society with no change from this pitiful manifestation of the human spirit in sight!

But where did it start? Why is it catching on so much these days so much when our communities NEED strong men now more than ever? What is it that we need to do to reverse this travesty and heal our communities to be enabled to produce strong leaders who will be movers and shakers as the righteous batton is passed to them?

When I drive up and down the same old neighborhoods all night and observe the SAME men standing on the corner producing nothing or moving toward anything other than an inflated arrest record, it ticks me off to see so much wasted manpower that could be used for something constructive. And that visual absorbed everyday can be a very very depressing sight indeed.

Let me share something that was passed onto me the other day from a friend, she told me that HER grandfather believed that a man should be FOUR things to his home and family. A REAL man must be a Priest, a Protector, a Prophet and a Provider. Isn’t this amazing? Look at our men and even YOUR man and TELL ME if this is the case!

When that man is in “Priest” mode, he must be able to prescribe God’s wisdom in the manner that it is needed in the unique situation where spiritual guidance is required. HE more than anyone OUTSIDE of the home MUST know what is needed because he is sensitive to the internal stresses of that household and it’s members from day to day.

Like a captain guiding his ship, although he isn’t the ONLY one running that ship, HIS divine word based in the righteous laws of the Creator is the final word. But this level of power comes with an extreme level of responsibilty as his Godly ordained position OF father of the home cannot be tainted or blurred by the addition of an underdeveloped or sin based mind and ego.

When the man is in “Protector” mode, he executes what the name indicates. He PROTECTS his family! Now, what do you think this means? Well, there are certain things that one didn’t have to worry about back in the previous decades that we have to concern ourselves with now. In those days, a REAL man as per my friend’s grandfather’s description of a man, was the ONLY person EVER to answer the door when there was a knock or if the bell was ringing!


She told me that he said the reason was because if the devil came to your front door to cause mischief in that targeted home, then he would rather go elsewhere when he realized that a strong spritually grounded Godly man dwelled and ruled there!

Now I ask you when you look around today, WHERE ARE THE MEN LIKE THIS? I see father letting their daughters stay out all times of the night dressed in the whorish garb of a streetwalker with a huge quota of money to make up that night. I see men who allow ANY MAN into the most private recesses of their homes and wonder why these same shady acquaintances and friends try to take over their women right under their noses!

You don’t see the bees in nature allow anyone to get anywhere NEAR the Queen-Bee, so why are you letting all types of foul spirited men around your women and your daughters in the domain that is supposed to be the safest place for them on earth? You NEED to take a strong cue from Mother nature because if a damn BEE can move in the manner that it was created in, then what happened to YOUR sorry ass?

Now these days, we just can’t send our children to their rooms as punishment and discipline anymore, because they can STILL communicate with these SAME foul spirits and predators online on their computers and run circles around their parents on a technological level because we do not keep up with the advances as much as we should!

In the name of Protection, there should be no areas of the home that are off limits to this man and his wife, CHECK the room, all up under the bed, in the closets, the pockets of all of the outfits. Watch everything they DO online, make them give up those passwords and CHECK their e-mails received and sent right in front of them. Know WHO their friends are and KNOW who the PARENTS of their friends are! Let your children know that while you will give YOUR LIFE to protect them, you will also SPEND YOUR LIFE protecting them from the ever growing desires that they are not yet equipped or mature enough to control or understand!

We have GOT to keep our homes AIRTIGHT as righteous men! And if anyone has the time to call you crazy, then THAT’s a person who has TOO MUCH time on their hands that they could be using to protect THEIR home! The devil might be ringing THEIR doorbell!

When the man is in “Prophet” mode, he must understand the temperment of everyone in his home to be enabled to prescribe the best course of action for living an edifying life. If he has a child who stands four foot three at thirteen years old, it might be a bit foolish to continue to stoke his passions to pursue a career as a professional basketball player. Especially if that same child has a talent and love for, say example, the biological sciences, where it might bring back a larger return for his efforts to develop and focus on THAT passion.

While in Prophet mode that father MUST moniter the current events of the world and fashion a life plan according to how those seemingly distant events will effect HIS family, THEIR home and their collective energies and investments! He cannot be a man who only thinks as far as the corner store or around the block but must understand the he, as well as his family, are citizens of the WORLD! And I must stress again that this must be executed WITHOUT the human frailties that WE possess but as a God connected man who understands that Divine wisdom must dictate his every decision.

When that man is in “Provider” mode, it is not only mandatory to utilize ALL of his resources to provide for his family all of the necessary items for a life that’s worry free of survival, but also to make sure that while he IS providing for them, he IS being an example to his children on what a man is supposed to do to have THEM internalize the spirit adhering to gainful employment whether it is on a job or a business that you own. By providing for them the food to eat, the roof over their head and the clothes on their back, you are allowing them to understand that there ARE benefits to the constant discipline and sacrifice as they enjoy the fruits of a righteous labor.


After those thoughts of what a real man is all about I have to say that many of us have to do a gut check to see if we are up to that righteous standard (I LOVE that word righteous, don’t I? LOL!) but at LEAST we may be aware of the need for improvement but many of the aforementioned deadbeats are clueless anyway and probably don’t even care.

Now, in getting back to these men who seem to desire a caretaker mother figure as their woman, let me say that it is of my humble opinion that the effects of slavery have a lot to do with the general psyche of many foolish men who never were indoctrinated properly into the knowledge in order to break the rhythm that being enslaved initially created. I mean, we didn’t arrive here in this condition as the spiritually contaminated men when we were first introduced to these shores against our will for the oppressor’s evil agenda…..but the signs are there.

Look at the multitude of Black men in ANY and EVERY city you could think off, and what do we grab for first when all else fails? What do we feel is our strongest asset as we stand poor and ignorant to the very principles of progress that others have embraced and mastered. When all else fails we grab for our sex organs! This is the first thing we brag about and speak of with ANY measure of confidence because it has been ingrained in us and subconsciously passed down to us from our forefathers days on the plantation! Yes!

Because this was our purpose other than being a big strong “buck” for the slave master’s empire to do his bidding. We were allowed to screw as many of our enslaved sisters in order to procreate another generation of ignorant servants to perpetuate HIS wealth! And what do we do now? We again screw around with as many women as we possibly can in order to perpetuate HIS wealth! Well, you may think that slavery is over but look how many of us are on lock down! We’ve only been out enough to make a few babies because deep down we know that it is just a matter of time before we get caught from the various hustles that we indulge in so we take ALL of the pleasure that we possibly can without any thought of the repercussions.

So the cycle continues with the State (D.O.C.) being the winner, with the courts being the winner, the police being the winner, the lawyers being the winner, the District Attorneys being the winner, the businesses that profit from all products created for prison life being the winner, a WHOLE entire system IN PLACE to profit from your dumb black ass because you think you are a thug!

And if you can remember earlier what I said, if the devil come to ring your bell, he won’t tarry TOO long when he sees a spiritually and morally just man answer the door! So satan wouldn’t live so well in our communities if WE were the men that God created us to be! The drugs wouldn’t have a market if we lived clean and upright with an esteem so high that it would be immeasurable! The guns wouldn’t sell at ALL in our neighborhoods because the self love that would ring from corner to corner would prevent ANY need for a weapon other than the art of reasoning in bringing peace to any misunderstanding or disputes!

But since we are all out of the divine synchronization intended for us by our Creator, our roles are mixed up and we do not have a clue as what the Godly hierarchy is supposed to be! So we have males never wanting to be men, we have women having to do a double load in the home because of the lack of a MANLY presence whether there is a male there or a stiff erect swollen vein laced p-e-n-i-s there or NOT! In the ‘hood, p-e-n-i-s-e-s are plenty and always available but the REAL men are FEW! So now we have perfectly good women who have been disappointed in the absence of that divine male bonding time and time again that we ALL need to embrace in our early formative years so they have had to alter their natural female balance UNnaturally to accommodate the need for what IS lacking and become the very thing they craved but never really had.

So in comes this watered down morphed and altered male who seeks out a woman who will tolerate any man with the low standards of a leech JUST to have a male around. She doesn’t mind that he is good for nothing because at least he comes home everynight. While he might babysit from time to time, he will NEVER be the one to seek out employment, in his mind it wouldn’t fit properly in his day because he wouldn’t be able to hang out on the corner with the other broken brothers if he had to work!

WORK? That’s a four letter word!

Imagine that!

You see, many of these losers had mothers who were enablers and never demanded that they step up to the plate and execute what their age and positioning as young men called for. They have allowed their sons to sit around after high school in front of the television set or video game like an old retired racehorse grazing on the fields without any sense of what a damn chore is!

This type of mother will work two and three jobs without even demanding that her young punks in training do a thing to contribute. She feels somewhat guilty that there wasn’t a man around the house so she placates them in their slothful activity so that THEY won’t leave her like their father did!

So it is a trade off.

A silent agreement.

Now this isn’t every situation or explanation for every situation but for those of us who have lived life on this earth for a time will have had experienced a setup like this! These types of mothers are doing NOTHING but making their sons handicapped and a burden to society because in their mind this arrangement is normalcy and something to be highly desired!

For those of you who work in the prisons as corrections officers, you can hear these type of men brag about how “their many hoes” take care of them and will keep their accounts full and the brand new items coming in for them to enjoy while locked down! They will even push their chests out even MORE so when two or three women that they have been messing around with arrive to the visitation area and realize that they are all coming to visit the same man! This is supposed to be an indication of him being MORE of a man because these “hoes love this d**k so much” and are willing to FIGHT for it! What kind of Jerry Springer existence are we living brothers?………….

With the way we as a people are living our lives, it’s a wonder that anyone would even NEED to turn ON the television to watch Jerry Springer when all one now has to do is look out of their window or better yet, LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

We have actually now BECOME the frighteningly degraded caricatures that were specifically prepared for us and projected onto the television screen for our consumption, permeating our subconscious mind for years making the ignorant and evil transgressions an acceptable way of life for us, fulfilling an evil plan designed to bring on our very own doom!

How can you be content as a man, to see your woman leave the house at the crack of dawn, in pursuit of an improved life situation while you roll over to drool on the pillow until noon? This is totally unacceptable unless you work on a night job.

She comes home tired beyond measure and you demand to know where she has been for the last two hours when she got home just a little late, as though she had the time OR the energy to run with another, but all she was guilty of was to stop at the supermarket to pick up some items to make YOUR favorite dish. She might have been better off actually BEING with someone else compared to the sorry example of manhood and PRIME example of a failure and blessing blocker to HER life that you’ve become!

It should be a BANQUET waiting for her when she arrives to a clean and spotless home that smells so good from all of the available idle time that this sloth has at his disposal but wasted doing nothing of note! But the same dirty dishes await her in the sink as well as the well filled toilet that he always forgets to flush with that God awful stench that greets you offensively upon your arrival!.

And as if that disgusting discovery and nasal intrusion wasn’t enough, she has to endure the barbaric attempts of foreplay free carnal release from a man who possesses the romantic finesse just barely above that of a wild dog in heat. Night after night of tolerating this man grunt and groan on top of her she prays for his always premature release so that she can forget the imbalanced union that they share.

Heavy tears stream down the Mother Enabler’s tired face as she half heartedly brings herself manually to an empty climax while she fights back the tears of sadness and disgust. She knows as she begins to play out this lonely ritual every night that it would never bring her the deep satisfaction that her total being yearns for, but in her mind it is a welcome escape even if only for the few brief stolen moments from this mockery of a goon who snores so repulsively next to her.

It really shouldn’t come as a surprise to us that many of our sisters have found the satisfaction and understanding that they so desperately crave in the arms of another woman…….

With men like these hangin’ around can you blame them?.

It would be nice to have an intelligent discussion like the type you hear at the job, nice to come home to a man who wants to discuss with you the pros and cons of President Obama’s Health Care Reform instead of the fight around the corner involving his prison buddy Pookie or the high score he beat that day on the Play Station!

Does this bloodsucker deserve the KINGS treatment?


Has he earned it?


Does SHE deserve this dead weight man?

YES! …………..Why?

Because she allows it!

You see, while no one deserves to be drained of their precious life force and used in such a manner by an unworthy male, if she felt that she deserved better then she would end it! But the Mother Enabler feels it is her holy duty and purpose to be used as a foot stool for another!

What I never understood for the life of me is why do they find these men that fit such a lowdown description to dedicate their precious energies to elevate them?  What a poor waste of an investment with below zero return! Hardly worth the mental, physical and emotional energy but these woman just do not see it that way.  It’s embedded deep in her psychological makeup, and the funny thing is, if she were to cease this travesty of a dysfunctional relationship, she would find someone to be with just as bad as the one before if not even worse!

Maybe it’s just me but it seems that the righteous nature placed IN the woman to serve her man was somehow at some point in her life thrown completely out of balance.

Just as the righteous nature of a man to be the Priest, Protector, Provider and Prophet was taken away and twisted everything that was good about him around into something that he wasn’t ever created to be.

I will say this, that in this amerikkkan society that we live in, a strong Black male presence and identity is undesirable. If we were to blossom into what we as men were created to be by our Creator and take our rightful place by our women then literally in the twinkling of an eye many of the negative conditions that have plagued our communities for what seems like an eternity would be banished seemingly OVERNIGHT!


Lance Scurvin

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