How ya’ doing baby?
Now come over here and let me give you a few pointers on how to keep a man on lock down and happy he’s trapped off at the same time!
You know, havin’ him catchin’ speeding tickets after he gets out of work ‘cause he’s tryin’ to git home as fast as he can ‘cause he’s hooked on your lovin’.
Girl….I’m gonna tell you right now that it ain’t easy but there are a few things that you need to know that will keep things going red hot for years until the nature can’t rise no mo’……even if he pops a whole bottle of them ole’ Viagra pills, they won’t work after you drain him right!
First of all you got to understand that most men will be tempted to cheat….and if given the chance, they will. It ain’t that they are bad, it ain’t that they don’t love you….But with all these lonely needy heffas out here wigglin’ they backside and boobies suckin’ lollipops all up in our men’s faces, it’s just a matter of time before they get caught weak and want a sample of the goods!
It’s just the way it is but listen here baby Sister Fatback got something to stop all of that!
Read between the lines, my philosophy is plain and simple: Ain’t nobody ever shot a gun that had no bullets in it. Now you girls who been out there trickin’ for a hot minute know EXACTLY what I mean!
For those of you who don’t know, I got’s to break it down fo’ ya….If ya takes care of bidness at home 24/7 he won’t have no strength to want to do NO hanky panky with no strange woman out there.
So when those heffas try to take your man, all he will be ABLE to do is look!
But if you don’t remember ANYTHING I’m tellin’ you now just remember this one thing: They lovin’ ain’t NO better than yours baby. The problem is we let our marriages and relationships get stale & stole!. We kept it fresh to get ‘em. So why do you think he ain’t gonna get the wanderin’ eye if we don’t KEEP it fresh?
You got to do what you got to do!
Fight back and KEEP yo’ man!
See, I’ll switch it up and make him think he’s with a different woman EVERY night! ….’cause wit’ 31 different wigs in my collection for every single night of the month honey, he’ll be cheatin’ all the time in his own bedroom wit’ just ONE woman….ME!
What did Chaka Khan sing in her song? “I’m every woman, it’s all in me”……Well she d*mn sure got THAT right! You GOTS to be shrewd about this thang here…….
Now don’t laugh sisters this is serious! I can see all those stuck up prosperity Christians like “Miss Holier than thou” that lives across the street over there climblin’ out her luxury rides wit’ her nose turned up in the air like she don’t have to get down and dirty to please her man, but check this out and tell her next time you see her to go into HER Bible for a change and read 1 Corinthians 7:5, Which says:
“Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control.” (NIV)
What you think this means?
Even God himself is telling you that you gots to give up the booty to yo’ husband and if you don’t, you can’t wait too long or he will start thinkin’ ’bout hittin’ up that big lipped crossed eyed widow down the block! And that’s only for prayer reasons, not because you mad at him….or payin’ him back for somethin’ he said or forgot to do.
If God said it, it MUST be true!….and you didn’t THINK that they would have somethin’ like this in God’s word but you would be surprised!
Don’t laugh baby!
Let’s keep it real!
Now it’s not always about bumpin’ and grindin’….’cause I know some sisters who can make a dead man cum but always make the live men go ‘cause they don’t know how to speak to a man.
See, you can’t get mad and talk to a man like he ain’t nothing….whether he’s a CEO making MILLIONS over a major corporation or a short order cook pullin’ minimum wage at Louie’s local truck stop Breakfast Grill on the interstate highway service area, a man needs to be spoken to respectfully in front of others….now tear his ass up behind closed doors but NOT in front of the public!
That’s a BIG no-no!
See when we do this, we don’t look good no mo’ to him even if we are changin’ kneepads EVERY week from our bedroom freakfests….you know who looks good all of a sudden? That snaggle tooth stank breath sister wit’ the thick ass glasses who takes the time to talk to him like a king!
We always think the chick he’s runnin’ wit’ is some video girl type….See girls, most of you would be surprised to learn that half of our men who cheat will cheat with someone who is uglier than us with a face that looks like a bad case of hemorrhoids after a night of sittin’ on the bowl makin’ hot diarrhea.
Now here is another one that some of you won’t like to hear: Keep yo’ girlfriends up OUT of yo’ bidness! How you gonna tell some chick yo’ problems after you done told her when y’all first got together how much of a freak he is in the bedroom?
Somebody need to knock some sense into you!
You think she forgot about those hot and horny things you told her about YO’ man especially when she ain’t getting’ it at home wit’ her ole’ wino of a loser?
There is NO reason for her to know how good yo man is eatin’ yo coochie and all up in yo backside up in places where the sun don’t shine and toilet paper NEVER touched!
So what do you think SHE will be thankin’ about when she is lookin’ all up in his face when her stuff is on fire and in need of some good tastin’?
What you need to do is “BRANG” it to the Lord!
Not yo’ hot in the ass schemin’ girlfriend!
All you doin’ by tellin’ her is makin’ it easier and helpin’ her to try to take yo’ man faster ‘cause they probably a snake in the grass anyway! This goes for yo’ sister, yo’ co-workers, yo momma, yo’ daddy and that down low skinny little sweet boy that lives down the block that braids all the thugs hair for free after they come out from prison on lock down! (Believe me, it ain’t free baby!)
Keep ‘em ALL out!
But now if that man lay a hand on you by all means call them all over to help kick his no good a*s and smack the taste out his mouth for sure! You see, I love my deceased husband to death and beyond…..I still puts flowers on his grave every year that goes by, but the fool didn’t believe me when I told him that if he EVER put his hands on me, it would be his last day livin’ on THIS earth!
He’s in the Bartlett-Ellendale Cemetery right now!
Guess who put him there…….?
……an ebonically gifted Peggy “Sister Fatback” Wiggins, 67, a wizened old battle scarred woman with the gift of gab who has “been through it all and lived to tell it” who is Memphis Tennessee’s official self proclaimed neighborhood front porch Saturday night “Relationship Specialist” ….she doesn’t believe in “pulling NO punches” when it comes to “schoolin” the younger naive female generation on life and making them wise to the dynamics of maintaining a strong relationship the old fashioned way in these shark infested waters of the modern age dating scene.