Man Code Violations: What ALL Men Should Know What NOT To Do In The Year 2014!

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Here is LanceScurv’s Official Word on what I call Man Code Violations:

There are some things that real men should not even have to speak on in this day and age in 2014.

But since the code of manhood has been tampered with and has morphed into something so foreign and different than what it was before, those of us who are now the Elders must bring back the expected behavior of these younger men who sometimes don’t even have a clue as to the unwritten laws of the Man Code is really all about.

Now when I say Man Code, I’m not attempting to say that there’s some big dusty book that all boys must read before they make their passage into manhood, but it’s a vast amount of things large and small that real men intuitive have a sense of what to do and what NOT to do.

Man Code

The bottom line is that when you reach a certain point in your development as a man, there are certain things that you should never be caught doing.

I wish that I could say that the Man Code is a finite list of things that I could share to make it simple for the unlearned, but to be honest with you it’s a never ending concept with a countless set of mandatory reactions depending on the unique situation at hand.

So while I will name a few Man Code Violations that I know to be true, feel free to add yours in the comment box below because I believe this article will be the first of a long series!

The concept of true manhood needs it in 2014 because gentlemen, from what I’ve been seeing you guys are slipping BAD!

Here is a random list of Man Code violations that will put you in the spotlight in a very bad way. Ladies, take note, because your man or potential mate just make be failing to make the grade.

Number One:

The Men’s Room Code Of Conduct:

When a man enters the men’s room in the hopes of emptying a full bladder, he must scope out the urinal area and choose the furthest piss station to use from the next man who is already there.

This must always be done with a minimal of eye contact.

If you happen to run across another man to whom you know well, you handle your business as swiftly as possible and continue the conversation outside of the men’s room if need be but never stay inside of the restroom to converse. It’s not a good look for two dudes to be hanging around a place where other men pull their dicks out to have a conversation about how hungry they are and what they want to eat for their next meal.

But allow me to explain the dynamics of one of the ultimate restroom Man Code Violations…….

Example: If there are ten urinals in the restroom and another man is using the one on the far right, then the latest man entering is supposed to use the one on the far left leaving eight empty urinals between them.

Why? Well it is a Man Code Violation to use a urinal that is closer to the next man when one is available that is further away.

Pissing In Urinals - Man Code

Any urinal used that is closer to the man who was there first is suspect and it would be punishable by public hanging if the last man to enter the restroom occupied the urinal RIGHT NEXT to the man on the far right!

THIS IS SUSPECT BEHAVIOR and would forever place the violator in the “suspect” box and will make it very hard to erase in the minds of real men because REAL MEN TO PISS NEXT TO EACH OTHER unless all other available urinals are occupied!

I must also add that peripheral vision is unacceptable while pissing as one has no need to peek at another man who is engaging in that very intimate act of bladder release.

Why would a real man want to side-eye another dude when he has his dick in his hand urinating?

Mandatory Punishment?

A minimum mandatory EIGHT YEARS of being suspect in the world of real men!

And any man who has been the victim of an unnecessary shoulder to shoulder pissing encounter when other urinals were available must speak out to all other confirmed certified male brethren in order to give them the heads up!

Pocket Watching – Unnecessary Concern About The Money That Another Man Is Holding & How He Gets It:

Back in the day men never concerned themselves with how another dude got his money or worried about the methods he used to earn it.

That would have been considered BITCH BEHAVIOR but in 2014 it seems to be the norm and we need to address this punk like behavior to banish it forever from existing in our communities.

While there will always be jealousies amongst certain types of men, the envy over what another man has in his pockets only reveals the violator to be one who wastes precious time that he could be finding ways to earn more instead of hating on the next man’s good fortune.

Pocket Watching - Man Code

Real Men don’t concern themselves with what the next man has and it’s even a greater Man Code Violation to join up with other sad examples of men to gossip about why it is that the next man has so much more than them.

This shows that the nosy gossip of a man has some major insecurity issues that will keep him forever operating far below his true potential to become the breadwinner that his bitchy actions have held him back from becoming.

Real men know that time is precious and the time spent worrying about another man’s pocket shows that one has absolutely no concept of conquering the world to bring home the bacon.

Ladies, if you happen to discover these traits in a potential mate then leave him alone! He is a waste of time and not worthy of any romantic consideration until he displays improved behavior for the THREE YEARS MANDATORY SENTENCE for being so bitch-like and now minding his business!

Messing Around With Your Best Friends Ex:

This is a tricky one and I must clarify what is not acceptable in this case and what is on the border of acceptability.

Every woman does not qualify to be your best friend’s ex, if the woman that he was dealing with was merely someone to whom he had a non emotional connection to or rather never planned on loving her forever, then she could never be on the list of women that you couldn’t approach.

But something tells me that most Elder Man Code practitioners should simply find their escapades elsewhere other than in the scrap-box of your best friends former erotic conquests regardless if they were a certified booty call or a marriage prospect that just didn’t work out.

But if you must indulge in sloppy seconds, the man code dictates that you must gain approval from the former resident of those vaginal walls in order to honor the booty hierarchy and make your friend feel as though you honor the friendship that you have with him more than any hot piece of ass from his past that’s out here for the taking.

It’s only the right thing to do.

Friends With Benefits - Man Code

But for those younger men who haven’t logged in enough life experience allow me to school you in on one very important fact – this is also good for the ladies to overhear also…….

Understand that if you ever attempt to go after a former significant other of your best friend, you are treading on very dangerous waters indeed.

Why?

Well because most men have this syndrome that permanently attaches them to their former loves forever even after they both have moved on and are possibly with other people.

How can this be?

Well regardless as to the present where these men are not even with their ex’s, they still have a strong connection to the memories that they have created with their former loves and this in fact is a very sacred place for them forevermore.

In their mind while they can accept that their old flame has moved on, the memories that they have created are theirs and theirs alone and if you are a best friend to one of these men and actually knew this long gone love of his, for you to even try to attempt to move in on her is a direct violation to his beloved memories with her as you now in his mind will open up the past to insert your dick all up in his illusion of bliss.

And let me tell you one time, your penis in the present time being mixed in with his memories of her in the past just won’t work.

While many will logically say that it’s not fair and that if everyone has moved on then what’s wrong with this man pursuing a love connection with his best friends ex?

The problem is that you will reopen old wounds and the other issues that caused them to break up and now you have made yourself a competitor to possibly outdo him and take her places that he never has.

And while he may have no problem with a total stranger doing this, it is out of place in his mind for his best friend to be enjoying those toe curling blowjobs that he used to get from her or that freakishly spontaneous sex that was once his to explore at the drop of a dime.

The Man Code dictates that best friends can swap booty calls and jump offs but NEVER a former love interest because a man wants to have his memories intact when he gets old and doesn’t want to be reminded that it’s still going on with another person close to them who just might slip and reveal what good treatment that he received the night before from his best friends ex.

I can hear the ladies now saying how terrible men are for equating women as being merely sex objects but nothing could be further from the truth.

We love our old girlfriends and wives in a special way.

It’s not that we want a half naked harem of all of these women at one time laying around dressed like Barbara Eden in I Dream Of Jeannie because for the most part we’ve also moved on and damn sure remember what it may have been about them that we couldn’t stand.

Barbara Eden - I Dream Of Jeannie - Man Code

But from the outside men can appear to women in a way by the way they behave to only be caught up in the sexual aspect of their being.

That laid back loving husband can go bat-shit crazy in 0.2 seconds if he thought that another man was scoping out his wife or committed girlfriend out in public because he caught him looking hard at her backside.

This type of eruption brings us to a testosterone driven basic caveman-like state of being that most women just won’t ever understand.

And while you know that he loves you and cherishes you for the inner qualities that you possess, don’t be surprised if he tells a stranger in the street – that has been gawking at you a little too long to be ignore – that this is MY PUSSY!

Don’t be insulted ladies, be very glad that you’ve reached your man on such a deep barbaric level because it means that you must be doing something right and at the end of the day he is only defending his territory.

It’s a man thing and you simply won’t understand. But then again you should understand. How many women have been with their man at a social gathering to constantly observe that one single woman attempting to catch her man’s eye at every opportunity with her seductive adornments in full view?

Seductive Adornments - Man Code

No matter how dignified she is, no matter how classy and controlled she has been known to be, you just might here: “Bitch you better back up off my man! That’s MY DICK!”

So back to my original point – it’s best to leave another man’s ex-lovers and love interests alone because we all want to enjoy those wild and intoxicating memories as we sit back on our rocking chairs reminiscing when our penises beat gravity up every time to never let us down when it came time to take our ladies there.

You want to stay best friends? Well the Man Code says that there are enough women out here in the world that you don’t need to go after someone who will always have a connection to their ex whether they admit it or not.

Insecurity? No. Territorial? Yes.

…….if you insist then go find her sister, definitely a better choice to keep the peace – and you can even brag that she is even more freakier in bed! LOL!

The automatic sentence that comes with this type of violation of your friend’s trust will be a lifetime ban from ever being close to him ever again no matter how much things appear to be normal on the surface in your friendship.

Not worth it at all!

Partaking In The Despicable Sport Of Cock Blocking!

Now I don’t care if you subscribe to the sacred scrolls of the Man Codes or not, deep down you know where the line is drawn and to cross it means that there will soon be a battle.

But NO ONE…….and I mean NO ONE…….likes to be the victim of an aggressive Cock-Blocker.

Cock-Blocking is hated across ALL combinations of lifestyle preferences.

Whether you are straight, bisexual, gay, transgendered or don’t know what the heck you are as far as a category to fit into, NO ONE likes another person getting in the way of them making a simple love connection or merely hooking up for a hot session of sensual release!

But in the context of a Man Code Violation the Cock-Blocking Violator is the lowest form of life know to man and is punished for life by being banned across the board in all groups imaginable.

Now what would cause a man to desire to block another man from getting close to the woman that he desires for whatever reason he has?

It’s none of the cock-blocker’s business but you couldn’t tell him that!

Cock-Blocking is the bitchiest behavior that a man can partake it.

The certified cock-blocker believes that his blocking another man from getting some sex, some head or some admiration is the ultimate sport of all.

You can spot a cock-blocker in public if you open your eyes and observe the next time that you have a little time to kill.

Check out the passing crowd at the shopping mall where people are a little more leisure in their state of mind, look for that drop dead gorgeous woman with the sexiest backside this side of a porn star (I’m serious now, you will learn something from this!).

Shopping Mall Booty - Man Code

Now you have to be swift in your observation of the social interactions that can happen so quickly but notice the men who are really stealing looks at this woman, you will also see a few men who may notice that woman but are also watching the men who are checking that woman out.

Strange? Of course! But those men who are more interested in watching the men check out the sexy woman are more than likely COCK-BLOCKERS!

Want to know why?

Well, even if those male admirers never made a move toward that eye candy of a lady, it’s the job of the cock-blocker to MAKE sure that any connections are made in his presence because HE is insecure and feels that he can never get a shot at a woman who is desirable.

The cock-blocker is the first on a job to blow the whistle on a workplace romance that no one else has noticed.

The cock-blocker is the first to inquire to a woman to whom he might be an acquaintance of as to what she sees in that gentleman that she has been merely talking to for a lengthy amount of time in order to create some doubt in her mind so that she never moves forward.

The cock-blocker has no sex life and has subconsciously vowed to make sure no one else ever does either.

The fact that the cock-blocker is still alive, well and breathing is a violation in itself of the Man Code because he serves no purpose to anyone except to bring them frustrations untold.

But it’s not simply about sex, cock-blockers are about blocking the progress in all spheres of one’s life.

If they can discourage you from going after purchasing a house of your own and moving out of that old apartment, they will do it and that is cock-blocking!

If they can discourage anyone from trying to improve their health by losing weight, they will surely do it by taking you out to The Cheesecake Factory as a treat from them.

The Cheesecake Factory -Man CodeThe Cheesecake Factory -Man Code

So while most cock-blockers are masters of deception it can be difficult to identify them until after they’ve repeatedly violated you in a way to keep you from any ascension to a higher level.

Understand that while we call it cock-blocking, it is not just about the dick. But since penises point straight at the particular goal of an orifice when erect, the cock-blocker always finds himself between the dick and the goal of an orifice of where it wants to go.

So never “point” your goals out to a certified cock-blocker because he will find himself in your path to make sure that “the dick” of hard work, focus, dedication and sacrifice never manifest a victory because he will damn sure MAKE sure that your road will be blocked or sabotaged.

Solitary Confinement - Man Code

So the cock-blocker must serve LIFE IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT because once you sink so low to commit such a Man Code Violation, there is no coming back to a proper state of mind!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my twisted insight into human nature and look forward to reading your comments and I know that they will be amusing.

Are there any other Man Code Violations that you can think of off of the top of your head?

Like I stated earlier in the article that the number of Man Code Violation are vast and without number. So this will be an ongoing topic with me and I look forward to hearing from you!

Peace & Righteous Love Always,

Your Brother Who Pisses In Solitude On The Far End Of The Urinals In The Men’s Room,

LanceScurv

407.924.8793

P,S: Here are a few more Man Code Violations that I want to jot down before I forget them:

Eating after me if we never served in the military together, are not related or never served a prison cell together.

Always showing up to my house when you KNOW that I won’t be there while also knowing that my Wife/Woman will be there all by herself But don’t you’re getting in “KneeGrow” ’cause my Wife don’t play that!)

Sitting on my bed when my Women is in it when you KNOW you’re not my Gay Brother-In-Law!

Sneezing near me while I’m eating and not covering your damn mouth!

Sneezing - Man Code

Coming over my house to wash your funky ass clothes knowing that I never invited you to do so.

Going all through the picture section of my smartphone after I simply loaned it to you for a hot second to make a phone call because your battery died.

…….trust me family, there will be SO MUCH MORE!

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Culture Critic, Podcast Host, Blogger, Cartoonist & Social Media Activist who focuses on the issues that the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch! Call/Text Direct: 407.590.0755

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