Mr. Lance Scurvin On How To Love Your Woman: Loser’s, Users & Abusers PLEASE Take Notes!

Let me share some real talk from the bottom of my heart for the next few moments and allow me to be really honest with you…….

Isn’t it a shame that we men are so blinded by our lower desires that all we can see in a woman is the fleeting pleasure that we can rob from her? That pleasure is the offering that a well secured, well loved woman gives to a man for a righteous job well done. If a woman is treated correctly without any hidden agendas or secret motivations, she just can’t help herself from giving to the man what he has so rightfully earned! But some of us want the dessert yet don’t want to work to bring home the ingredients to make the meal….

In actuality, over time, the physical strength of the man will eventually diminish and the captivating youthful beauty of the woman may fade….but if the union has been cultivated properly over time, he still sees in her the most beautiful woman in the world and even though he might not possess the same strength, might, vigor and agility that he knew so very well in his athletic peak, she still feels safe by his side while he feels as if he can easily tackle an army singlehandedly to protect the woman he loves from ANY threat of danger!

This is the absolute beauty of true love.

A valuable gift from a mighty God himself that is an earthly manifestation and minuscule sampling of the powerful love of God! When you have that special someone in your life, you do NOT fear old age! You do NOT fear what most call death! Love transcends death. Death can NEVER snuff out love because GOD is love and God is MORE powerful than death.

Never forget that.

And just like that old guy that has a picture of his deceased wife on his old dusty mantle….he knows it’s just a matter of time somehow someway before he is reunited with her once again on the next level. The love he feels in his heart is STILL connected to hers….this is why many who pass on are followed soon after by their mate….now isn’t that lovely?

Finding and keeping a good woman is like cultivating a garden, but let me say this: there are no bad women out there in the world……just women who have been cultivated badly and not put in the right environment for the maximum growth and full realization into their divine purpose…therefore, while it may appear that they possess a major attitude problem, it’s not an attitude, it’s just an emotional scar or scab healed incompletely from the wounds inflicted from a man who may have been thoughtless, self centered, selfish or outright abusive. It’s that simple! So do not be so quick to tell ANY woman that she has “issues”………


If what she had to go through to make it to this point in her life brought on these “issues”, then what about the abusive ‘so called” fathers or uncles who took from her something that was meant for a future husband or these “jive time wanna be players” who wasted their time over and over again leaving them heartbroken with a lot of broken dreams, empty pockets, painful memories and less time on the clock, wouldn’t she have the RIGHT to be pissed?

As you can see, you don’t have to be a veteran of war to have post traumatic stress disorder, these boys who prance the earth masquerading as real men and only caught up in the physical functions of their dicks are enough to send any sane, well meaning and innocent good woman over the edge, so do try to handle her with a care and and a deep understanding of what she might have had to endure when approaching your sister in every situation, our women are HURTING!

But if many of these wayward, immature and anxious men knew how to cultivate that hidden seed….that hidden life germ within the woman called love….feeding it, protecting it, nurturing it, caring for it and bringing out it’s beauty in full fruition….they would absolutely benefit by having a true Heaven on earth!

Bring the food home man! You wouldn’t have any problem getting it cooked!

Pay the bills on time and in full! You wouldn’t ever have to be nagged.

Keep your mind on your own woman and your thoughts on her alone! Let her know that you belong to her! Let her know that the organ between your legs is no more yours than it is hers!

Open your heart first and show some sensitivity in everything that you do toward her and maybe you would get the same in return!

The home that you have together is NOT a home if all you think about are the mere “trinkets” that you have provided there. And shame on you if you haven’t contributed to those trinkets that are there for , and although it is not only about money with our Sisters, they want to see us with them trying our best to make a life with them, it’s the ULTIMATE expression of love! Go out and bring EVERY penny of the paycheck home Brother! But know that security and reassurance by spending that quality time is what does the trick! You wouldn’t ever have to be insecure about another Brother sliding on in on your woman if she is completely caught up in the real man that is supposed to be you!

To get a fantasy you have to BE a fantasy! Love her as she is and stop comparing her to these damn airbrushed touched up images in the magazines, internet and on the television set….would you like to be held to a standard that really doesn’t exist? And if you hold her to the standard then hold yourself up to it too!

How can you demand the she have  “six pack abdominals” when all you do is reach for a six pack of beer? You wouldn’t even RECOGNIZE your little penis if you HAD the chance to see it because your gut has eclipsed a direct view of it for many years my friend! So stop beating down your woman for being a little heavier than when you met her! Did YOU have babies like she has? Well she did and YOU didn’t so therefore what is YOUR excuse?

If you seek to demand improvement in the woman you love it must be done in a gentle loving manner and it must be done after you LEAD BY EXAMPLE! Many of us want to be treated like a King by our Lady yet do not want to submit to the righteous standard set by our God above in order to put ourselves directly in line to receive her loving gifts. Let her understand that as you take her hand to guide her to being the best that she can be it is only because you totally love her as she is and want the best for her! Let her embrace the fact that even if she were to gain HUNDREDS of pounds to her physical frame for WHATEVER reason that you would STILL walk down the street proudly next to her arm in arm because true love goes far beyond the exterior! Let her know this while she still looks good…….

Constant reassurance from her man is a must for our woman in these modern days because her psyche is constantly under attack by a vicious media that capitalizes on a false and artificial standard of beauty that is so superficial that even those who we have ordained as celebrity and stars have a hard time keeping up with! It makes her feel as though she is not enough and falling short of the “mark” even though she is and it is OUR JOB to make her constantly know otherwise!

Kiss her just as deep even IF she just woke up and has a strong case of morning breath!

You heard me right!

So you think I’m crazy for saying this you say?

Well check this out: I bet if she offered to perform those “other” delicious acts on you while on her knees that we as men love done to us so much I don’t think you would refuse it or even move your hypocritical mouth to complain because of some morning breath now would you?

You wouldn’t feel ANY less pleasure as you would be quite a HAPPY camper and just might like it BETTER that way! LOL!

Now wipe that dumb look off of your face Brother while our Sisters clap in agreement, laughing at the raw truth of what has just been spoken!

Now let us continue to proceed to more of what we must do to properly love our woman…….

You want her to greet you at the door smelling good with the dinner already laid out on the table with the sound of the bath water being drawn with exotic candles burning? Then take charge and be the first to do it for her! She might not know this is how you want it, so bring her awareness up to a standard that she will quickly reciprocate with.

Treat her like she tastes so sweet, because she does! You should never have to “ask” her if it’s good to her, that treat in the the form of a mouthful of honey should be all of the answer that you could ever need…….

Her nectar shouldn’t EVER see the light of day if you know what you are doing. Make it all about her in the bedroom the majority of the time. It doesn’t have to be about tit for tat every time…..and you do know what I am talking about!

And Brothers since we are on this particular subject let me say that while there are many ways to physically bring your woman to that overwhelming satisfaction, please understand that when you please her in this manner it is NOT about making her merely “%#&@$!”, it is really about the long delightful road of sensations given in a loving manner right up to that beautiful point of release. You MUST tell her to please hold back as much as she can FROM “cumming,” that to grant her this intense pleasure is a joy not only to her but also to YOU! And when she finally can not bear the overload of sensations on her senses, let it happen so sweetly and so naturally and continue to do what you did to before she got there, even slightly pulling back the intensity to aid her in lingering in the special place that can only come from oral bliss…….

Am I sharing TOO MUCH information? Well TOO bad! I know someone out here is feeling me!

Let her have hers without her having to get up from her bliss to cater to you and let her know this BEFORE that delicious act is performed on her! DO HER slowly and expertly with an undying enthusiasm then let her drift off deep into the most blissful, satisfied slumber after those beautiful explosions that are an inevitability if you took the time and care to take her there!

Gently massage her afterward.

Talk to her.

Make her laugh.

Make her think.

Explore her every inch.

Free up her tensions and release them from her without her having to move a muscle. You will NEVER experience the righteous freak that she could be in the bedroom because you refuse to honor the TRUE LADY that she IS in the trenches of everyday life!

You are too dumb to see that you have it all there with her at home with her but REFUSE do the right things to bring out the Heaven that she possesses from within mind body AND SOUL! But you waste the precious time, physical energy and hard earned financial resources that SHE should be getting by running around with these stray home wreckers that couldn’t care less about you ’cause in reality you are interchangeable as far as she are concerned because they will lay with many fools in heat!  But your woman is deprived of the full scope of your love yet takes you back time and time again because she wants to think the world of you!

Go back home SUBMIT and DEVOUR your woman’s every nerve ending skillfully and patiently with your lips, tongue and mouth and let her know from ACTION that you will not ever leave one stone left unturned!

Tossin salad? Yeah. I said it!

THAT’S MANDATORY EVERYDAY and NIGHT if she so desires!

As a matter of fact, she shouldn’t EVER have to ask! Give it to her! Ain’t it such a good feeling to give? If you don’t know just try it and you WILL find out! Never allow her leave the house without a Heartgasm, a Mindgasm and an Orgasm……

Love her down till her eyes roll back in her head and her toes curl up on her feet! Make her feel so good that she quotes old forgotten Biblical scriptures that she hasn’t quoted since she was a young kid in Sunday school….

And while she happily basks in that delicious afterglow, whisper ever so softly to her subconscious mind all of the sweet reassuring things that a woman NEEDS to hear….that you will never leave her….that there is NO one else that can take her place….how delicious she tasted….how you REFUSE to let another woman out there in the world get more love and attention than her…….

You must wear her sweet nectar across your face like the badge of honor that it is! The mystery of life, love and eternity are embedded within and you should understand that their is NO OTHER fragrance that can be purchased in any high end boutique of your choosing that can match the Heavenly qualities of what SHE has just blessed you with!

Recognize this and make it a personal point to wear it every day God sends!

This is your once in a lifetime opportunity to truly bond with her because deep soul trembling sexuality is NOT a game or a sport…….it is a divine gift from our Creator, so the things that you tell her in this state you must be willing to COMMIT wholeheartedly to in actually backing them up with ACTION! Now continue to whisper to her these deliciously sweet somethings while you lower your voice until it is barely audible…….

Then let her drift…….

Allow the peace and quiet to amplify the nirvana that is now overtaking every fiber of her precious being…..

Let it get so quiet in the room until she can hear her OWN heartbeat as the bliss of orgasmic release floods over her entire being…….

And don’t you leave! Stay there. Hold her. Allow your breathing to become synchronized with hers. Inhale as she exhales. Understand that this is truly an intimate soul bonding moment that will last FOREVER and although she exists on a totally different plane from you at this point, she is registering EVERYTHING around her at this time, seen and unseen. Any feeling of fraud or feeling of an insincere nature she will feel at this time whether you admit it or not so come correct or do NOT come at all Brothers!

Look at her while she sleeps, isn’t she just so beautiful? Look at the picture of peace that she has become and know that for you to bring your woman to this point it was so much more than a physical technique that brought her there…….

You must know that making love is MORE than a physical exchange, do know that her delicate essence is being “prepped” inadvertently for the physical when you show wisdom and maturity in those times when she is a bit stressed from the external world may it be from the job, her fair weather friends, an insecurity or just “one of those days.”

You must be the “home” that she looks forward to coming to in these particularly trying times. Sometimes it is NOT always for you to speak all of the time, it is okay to just listen. Sometimes that strong protective familiar embrace and a silent gesture of love given so freely to her just to let her know that she “belongs” is all she may need.

This is true lovemaking. It’s that thing that you can feel when many miles apart tending to your outside obligations as you go on with the external business at hand. Yet, it can feel as though your mate is right there with you if he is loving you just right. Those “inside jokes” that make you both laugh so hard at the mere mention of them, that favorite restaurant dish and special corner seat that is a sacred ritual between the both of you…….

Many do NOT know the beauty of a truly cultivated long term relationship and miss out on so much by consuming the “icing” without ever having to bite the cake! Heck! The cake is actually better when you shared in the responsibility of MAKING it together!

Know that it’s the unwavering everyday “caring” for and maintenance of her EVERY component even when she might not have been so sensitive to your needs and feelings. You must always remain steady in the performance of your duties as a man and I don’t mean just THAT! (Get your mind out of the gutter Brother!)

Whether you have figured it out or not Brothers, unconditional love is where it’s at!

Love her regardless!

Love her when she is cranky. Love her when it is that time of the month and her “friend” is visiting making her not feel at her best. Love her down even more after she asks you if she has put on a little weight. Quickly get down on your knees and silently kiss, hold and caress her beautiful backside if she ever asks you if it is getting too big, let THAT be the answer to her question…….

Know when to step back and allow her to recalibrate herself with some quiet time. ALL women need that time to be by themselves away from the demands of the world because whether we know it or not, she usually has to wear MANY hats! We as men can sometimes forget this fact and we must make a point of understanding WHICH hat she is wearing at THAT particular time in order to know how to aid and assist her until the job that she has undertaken is completely done. Your insight, deep understanding and intuitive nature will be rewarded greatly in due time but you must give of yourself freely without keeping a tally, if you do then this will come off as being very insincere in your motivations……..almost comparable to a politician donating a large sum of money to a worthy cause but demanding that all television, radio and printed broadcast media be present to catch every detail in the moment of his good will.

Sometimes we as men have to take a beating to show her that we are not like that “other” guy she dated years ago. Some scars run deeply and can still be triggered from something that you may not have anything to do with. Understand this. And yes, it may not always seem fair if you weren’t the one to bring her that pain, but none the less if we want to enjoy those peaks of endless joy that have manifested in the righteous addiction that has become your relationship with her, then we must take the the total package under our wing and know that we are blessed by God Himself to be in the divinely ordained position of restoring her trust, ability to give and receive love, as well as the hope for a fulfilling life in its complete capacity!

But do know that when she truly internalizes who and what you are to her, NO ONE will love you more till DEATH DO YOU PART! So many of us are so caught up in getting a mere piece of paper from the courthouse downtown yet don’t even have the actual marriage that the paper is supposed to represent!

Wasted money for a mere “show” of an expensive wedding that will only end up as the talk of the town two years (If even THAT long!) from now and an even MORE expensive divorce! Keep your money in your pocket, jump over that old broom like the folks used to do back in the day when fifty year plus marriages were more commonplace than they are today!

Isn’t that so sad how superficial we have become in our magnificent displays of love for each other without the substance behind the glitz and glitter?

We now do not have to turn on the television set for a strong dose of a drama filled reality television show because many of us a LIVING IT! Whatever happened to simply staying with our mates through thick and thin, through sickness or in health?

Show a little patience in your dealings with her, let her see this through your ACTIONS rather than your words. Observe her. Learn her in every way. It is your lifetime job to study her because not ONE of us are mind readers and sometimes as much as woman wants to share something that is bothering her from deep down within or from her past, it could be a daunting task to open up as much as she has been through. Understand this and don’t allow yourself to become frustrated, just give it some time…….

Never EVER hurt or insult her by trying to compare her to any OTHER woman that you have known or dealt with in the past, they are NOT her and she is NOT them! Case closed. She is not some piece of automobile that can be “upgraded” to do something that someone else has done or in the way they have done it. If you have to voice such a selfish inconsiderate viewpoint then realize that you are either not over your old “fling” or maybe you are just not mature enough to cultivate the unique treasures that are buried deep within the essence of this woman that are unique unto the world.

She should know that when she steps out that damn door to go to work or where EVER she goes….that NO other woman had the loving that she got the night before and the treatment that she gets 24/7 EVERYDAY of her life. Most men waste so much of what a woman holds within that is divine because of a animalistic shallow urge for CHEAP sex while missing out on knowing what a gift from God that same beautiful Queen truly is! Many of us, both male and female many times choose a mate for all of the wrong reasons not realizing that we need to take the time to work on ourselves to make ourselves WORTHY of the same type of mate that we feel we deserve, not only that but we need to step back and allow GOD to bring us that ONE mate that he has for us. Instead we walk blindly through life ignoring that spiritual compass called God’s word that will escort us effortlessly past those tragedies called “failed relationships” that not only could have spared us a huge amount of pain but lots of time and energy also.

And do know that as time fades the hormone driven physical prowess that many are mislead to believe constitutes true love, the spiritual bond that remains will keep one happy long after their hot and bothered days are disappeared. Have you ever wondered why that elderly couple have a permanent smile etched across their beautifully wrinkled faces? It’s because the emotional pension plan is paying them back wonderfully for the years spent working on their relationship through its ups and downs, victories and defeats as well as the good times and bad.

It ain’t easy my friend.

But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible……….

Know that what you have just read was only a TINY sampling of how I feel a man should love his woman! ………Part Two anyone? …….Let me know!

Please share this with all of your friends…….

Let me hear from you and share your heartfelt comments for this blog on the message board below for the entire world to see!

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April 17, 2010 10:22 PM

Hello again Lance. once again an excellent deep and enlightening read. I love your new site and will be reading all of your blogs, because I must do that!! Thank you very much for sharing with us. Much love and Peace, K

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