I am at a point in my life where I really do not care who is upset with my lifestyle preferences. We have in the world much more TAXING issues to deal with more so than worrying what I do in my bedroom and to whom I do it with! Yes, I am what the world considers gay, so what? I have my feelings and belief on why I am the way that I am without having to hear your opinions on it thank you, but to be honest I do not lose any sleep on what YOU do so please do not stay up at night worrying about my playtime!
It cracks me up each and every time I run across a homophobic hypocrite who runs around and about telling everyone how he does not want anything to do with “those gays.” But if truth be told how does a person like this exist in THIS world WITHOUT having to deal with a gay person whether they know it or not?
You like that meal at your favorite restaurant? How do you know it wasn’t prepared by a dude who had a fat dick in his mouth last night?
You’ve had a long term relationship with your favorite dentist who you swear by and have always seen that nice wedding band on his finger when you go there for your appointment but how do YOU know that it’s not a commitment ring for another man?
Let’s not even talk about that son of yours who, at 22 years of age, has really never been seen to have an abundance of female interests beyond his college classmates who study with him occasionally, you write that off to him being a nerd but do you REALLY know what he likes?
We ALL like something whether we broadcast it or not!
You just never know so don’t go around condemning someone who has come to a point in their life where they are comfortable with who they are and are TRUE to themselves and the world around them WITHOUT the deceit or lies.
Don’t judge me baby, just let God handle it on Judgment Day…….don’t YOU have a few things to deal with in YOUR closet?
Now, this brings me to another slice of life that just pisses me off, men on the DOWN LOW, damn, talk about living a lie! Ha!
Now I know that I just finished saying how one shouldn’t be all up in MY “bidness” but this is a situation that puts the lives of others at risk for the activity that they indulge in that they are not man enough to step up to the plate to proclaim that this is something that they do and that this is something that they like!
Do I have a problem with WHAT they do? Hell no!
Do I have a problem with the lies that they must tell and the health risks that they put innocent people because of what they like to do? HELL YES!
You see, why I am upset about my brothers on the DOWN LOW is because my only sister died last year of full blown AIDS because her husband was “out there” fucking strange men unprotected for years and then bringing it home to her! And the sad part of it was, she was totally faithful to that bastard!
She cooked for him!
She cleaned for him!
Waited on him hand and foot!
Worked an extra job to help HIM finish up his schooling so that he could realize his dreams, dreams that, if he was on the up and up with her about his desire to have sex with men, SHE could have made up her mind if she loved him enough to stay in that situation! But the choice was made FOR her without her even knowing it.
She was exposed to literally HUNDREDS of reckless men on an intimate level without deciding to share herself in this manner!
THAT’S what pisses me off and I will NEVER understand why these punks can’t step up and be real with theirs!
And don’t think that it couldn’t be YOUR man sisters! Don’t make the mistake of thinking that! Check EVERYBODY and ANYBODY who you are dealing with or HOPE to deal with in the future! Ask him if he has EVER slept with……NO, let’s do better than that! Ask him if he has ever INDULGED in any sexual activity with another man in any form or fashion as well as asking him if he has ever THOUGHT of having sex or giving/receiving a blowjob from another man! This is real and valid issue and SHOULD be a legitimately presented to him as a question because AIDS doesn’t care how it enters your body.
It’s just as happy to enter through your asshole, your mouth OR your pussy!
Think I am talking crude? Well what is it to actually DO what I am talking about? Hell, I love it even though you can’t understand it but one thing is for sure……you will NEVER see ME faking the funk with ANYBODY! Give me respect for THAT fact alone even though you may not approve of what I do! When I do what I do I do not LIE, CHEAT or STEAL to get it. And when I do my thang I ain’t putting nobody else’s health at risk but mine…….and I don’t even do that because I play it SAFE with CONDOMS baby!
But you need to ask him these things directly and don’t take his answers on face value even if he vehemently denies ever playing around with another man. Find out if he was ever violated or molested by a man when he was younger, sometimes men who were raped at a younger age grow up to indulge in sexual activity in secret that although may be a hurtful memory, also thrills them in a forbidden way.
Your life is in jeopardy, tell him that if he is going to deal with you or CONTINUE to deal with you that his life with you IS going to be completely transparent! Not that you do not trust HIM it’s just that you do not trust these circumstances that are now commonplace on the dating scene these days. If he ain’t doing anything, why should he get upset with your request? If he is open and honest with you, he should be happy to give you complete peace of mind!
This may sound harsh but you need to have ALL of his internet e-mail passcodes, his cellphone voicemail passcodes and know where his ass is EVERY minute of the day! Why? Because it ONLY takes a few minutes to swing a down-low episode in the car, the alleyway or even the shopping mall restroom! As a matter of fact, I know it to be a PERSONAL favorite of brothers on the down low to get their freak on right under wifeys nose without getting caught! These brothers are turned on somehow by playing the “family man” role while at the next moment slipping off for some quick head only to come back as the loving husband and father that they profess to be. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know, this is JUST the way it is. Just allow a red flag in your mind to go up if he tells you that he might stay in the bathroom a little bit longer because his stomach is feeling a little bit upset! DON’T BELIEVE IT! He is only buying more time to get his dick sucked and to suck dick!
Heck, it used to be where if you caught a man doing something it wasn’t something that would result in YOU dying! Think about it long and hard!
How do I know all of this? Come ON now girl! When I was really out there I was running so wild and can tell you a story or two that would blow your mind!
Although I was raised in the church, everyone knew that I had “tendencies” and assumed that I was going to be a “sissy” when I grew up. So guess what, although I won’t mention ANY NAMES I will say that some those manly guys who had so many girlfriends always came around me when no one else was around because I always gave them what their girlfriends refused to do for them without any hesitation….And you DO know what that is now don’t you ladies? I used to laugh to myself when I would see their girlfriends walking around like they were the shit! LOL! If they only knew……..
I’ve been with the Pastor of my old church sexually for about three years off and on when I was a teenager, he used to take me out of town and put me up in fine lavish hotel rooms all paid for with YOUR tithe money! All I used to say back then was the Lord and I thanked you for digging DEEP in your pockets! Good times, good food, good wine and good sex! You would be surprised how many of the churches elders would come knocking on my hotel room door late at night during those out of town revivals, yeah, they were revived alright! And I could only imagine what sorry lame ass excuse that they told their wives to be able to get out so late without raising an eyebrow. They probably said that they were going to pray with a church brother but in actuality they were going to “LAY” with a church brother in ways that she just could NEVER imagine!
Now I am older now and am not to proud of the things I did when I was younger, I’ve repented for that but why am I sharing all of this with you? I’m doing this to let you know that NOTHING should go past your eye undetected and without investigation. This is real and ONLY those women who live in a state of denial are the very same ladies who will be in shock when they find out the truth!
It’s better to go through the changes of making sure your man is REALLY faithful in life as opposed to learning that the secrets you were too timid to reveal, encounter and face would be the very reason for your premature death! Isn’t it funny? My sister died from a case of full blown AIDS while that lying bastard is merely HIV positive and STILL doing his thing out here from what I am hearing! It’s some kind of love HE had for HIS wife isn’t it? And while we all knew the REAL reasons why her emaciated body was being lowered into the ground on that beautiful sunny afternoon that I will NEVER forget, HE had the nerve to even BE THERE crying crocodile tears as though he really cared when HE was the reason for her BEING KILLED in the FIRST PLACE!
I willing to bet that within HOURS of his burial that demon was somewhere doing his thing with a NEW random sex partner in some dirty restroom stall or in some public park after dark. Yes, the reality is harsh and I do apologize for my use of foul language but it really hurts to know that I lost someone SO near and dear to my heart! Yet it is I, someone who has been in a monogamous relationship for the past 7 years, are continually harassed in public, as one who is a “spreader of AIDS!”
Yet that motherfucker who killed my sister gets the utmost respect where ever he goes because although my family knows him as the killer of my sister, the rest of the town knows him as “Pastor!”
So is it a wonder why my entire family was excommunicated from the church because of the truth we speak?
Maybe my old church will wake up…….after a few more funerals like the one my sister had……….
And that is so very sad…….
Because a little honesty will definitely save your life.