Stop trying to be friends with your children!
You need to be a parent at all times to them, especially with the forces that are lurking about in the world waiting to devour your kids at every twist and turn in this obstacle course called life!
This does not mean you cannot be a “friendly” parent to them. It does not mean you cannot share a joke and a laugh with them. These are things you must know how to carefully balance without them taking you presence as a parent for granted and eventually challenging your authority. It’s just a matter of time before they will test you to see how far they can get away with violating the house rules.
You see, it is easier to bend a young plant in the direction you want it to grow than it is to bend a full grown tree. We have our youngsters with us from birth before the world gets to them. If we can instill the basic principles that will keep them afloat to navigate these troubled waters from a young age, they will get through their formative years as adults with minimal damage to their psyche instead of the pitfalls one can fall into resulting from poor decisions.
“I know my child ain’t gonna make no bad decisions as hard as I had to work to keep a roof over their head, food on the table and clothes on their back!”
I hear this many times sincerely from parents who feel that a child truly understands the inner workings of the world and how finances work. They keep forgetting the perception possessed by their kids that things have pretty much been the same from birth and no matter how much you tell them that money doesn’t grow on trees, they can’t imagine opening up the refrigerator and not finding something good to eat there.
Do you really think they understand the many hard hours that had to be put in on a job that provided or the food to get there in the first place? Or even the miracles you have had to produce with the humble earnings you receive that barely cover the basics?
It is challenging enough to maintain the needs so can they truly appreciate your ability to provide their wants? Even when they have a hint what it takes they never will know until they get in the drivers seat on their own one day. And even if they fully could understand, this does not give them the experience, wisdom and discipline to avoid a poor decision that could cost them not only a grade level in school, but an unwanted pregnancy or worse yet, a life threatening sexually transmitted disease.
Think back to when we came up .we had our ways of being a little rebellious but the difference now is that the stakes and consequences are so much higher now than they were yesterday. This is why proper parenting is paramount more so than ever before.
Mothers, stop going to the club with your daughters! Stop trying to dress in a manner that is commensurate with someone who is half your age. It ain’t cute at all! Even if the dudes in the nightclub say it is, it’s only ’cause they are blowin’ your head up to try and get a quick piece of your aging but still supple and “fat” backside ………and don’t you know if they can’t get through with you, your daughter will be next on their lust filled scope! And in their mindless quest for sexual relief, she will just be another available genital receptacle to clear the aching yearnings of their sperm congested loins.
You can’t get mad!
You got her to dress that way and here you are skinnin’, grinnin’ and sashaying down the street on a Friday/Saturday night right along with her! Now that you gave her a taste of your twisted so called friendship, introducing her to all types of developmentally hindering situations that she should not even be aware of at this point of her personal growth, you get angry now all of a sudden when she doesn’t want to “be” the obedient “little girl” anymore to your stern chore giving “parent!”
It’s one way or the other with no middle ground in between if you do not desire these seeds that have been so ignorantly planted to come back to haunt you.
And while the example of what not to do with your children involved a mother and her daughter, please do not think that I feel that the men involved as fathers, uncles, step-fathers etc., do not play just as an important role in a youngsters upbringing. For those who feel that one should NOT be so strict with their children may I ask you this : Would you prefer your child come home crying after finding out she has A.I.D.S? Would you rather receive a late night call from the local law enforcement agency stating to you that your son was involved in a fatal gang related shooting?
Maybe you want this.
These things were not even on the scope for us growing up and I have observed many parents falling into a false sense of security because they really don’t know the streets as they are today. It’s a whole different terrain out there to say the least. But it also must be said that you cannot take an activity away (Negative endeavors) without replacing it with something else that has the potential for more positive edifying results. You need to be involved in every phase of your child’s world.
Stay out of the bar, pool hall and gambling joints and spend more quality time with them explaining how things work in the world so they will embrace how crucial they are to the environment around them as they grow into maturity.
Some of you all need to stay out of these form, fashion and tired old traditional “social club” churches where hypocrisy and deceit thrives, instead taking them to a place for true SPIRITUAL instruction and social guidance.
Remember, the seeds you sow now will definitely be what you reap down the road with your children. Tell me this, what kind of garden do you want to have in your backyard?
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