BREAKING NEWS:

POLYAMORY RELATIONSHIP DEBATE PROS & CONS!

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, “many”, and Latin amor, “love”) is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in an open relationship with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long-term loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship which is usually referred to as polyfidelity.

FROM DEBATE.org:

CON POLYAMORY:

Despite the claims hat polyamory means many loves, and is not about the sex, it really is about the sex. If it wasn’t about sex then the need for more people in your life could be met through close friendships. Clearly it is about sex.
Dividing attention between multiple partners, by its very nature divides the intimacy whether it is due to time constraints or other factors. Fewer partners equates to greater intimacy with monogamy being the greatest depth of intimacy to be found with others. The argument that one person cannot meet your needs is a fallacy as it has been shown that in monogamy there is a greater level of intimacy and in real needs being met than in polyamory. If there is something missing in a monogamous relationship it can usually be filled by individual pursuits (hobbies, etc,). If the argument that what is missing is sexual intimacy it shows that polyamory IS about sex.
There are some who falsely claim that a poly lifestyle is a “sexual orientation”. Polyamory is not a sexual orientation, it is simply a naive lifestyle choice. However, claiming that polyamory is a sexual orientation is simply another demonstration that it is about sex. Usually to keep all partners satisfied in poly relationships the time investment is such that it makes sex central to life. It takes a toll on other aspects of life often only allowing for part-time or underemployment at most in order to practice it and frequently precluding other, non-sexual, pursuits. If you’re good with this, then clearly your reason for polyamory is sex. This is why, “[polyamory] is the choice of overwhelmingly white, affluent, university educated and privileged folk, with too much time on their hands. (Sheff)”
Yes, it is very common to feel sexual attraction toward more than one person at a time. This is nothing new. It is primitive to act on and reduces one to the level of animals. Contrary to the statements of those practicing polyamory, monogamy has been the natural state of humans at least since hunter gatherer societies evolved. Saying poly is natural and dates from early mankind is only saying that poly is more primitive.
There is no factual evidence that polyamory is superior to monogamy in any way other than having selfish needs met. And all the problems that can occur in monogamy occur to a greater degree in polyamory, including cheating. Poly-relationships can often become highly volatile and polarized due to more personalities being involved.
Polyamory is not a demonstration of being able to give more love. Quite the contrary, to give more love would be to love one person with whom you are truly, deeply, and lovingly intimate enough to forego the other temptations that happen in your life. In polyamory you’re not “more special” you are simply one of many.
Polyamory is ethical hedonism. It is focused on pleasure NOT love. If it is what you want, fine, but don’t claim it is something that it’s not.

PRO POLYAMORY:

Polyamory is not wrong. “If you study the Bible, ” you will see that some biblical figures (like Jacob) took two wives. Mormonism permits, And I believe expects, Two wives. Why should I be different? Because I’m gay? Because I’m female? Because I’m not like you?
Love is not a finite thing. Ask any older sibling. When their younger sibling is born, Many worry that their parents now love them less, Or that they weren’t enough for their parents. What do the parents say? “Yes, I love you less because now you have to share that love with another person” or “No, I have infinite love for my children. ” If you think there is a finite amount of love in a person, I implore you to not have more than one child.
If I can love multiple family members, And multiple friends, And multiple pets, Then why not multiple girlfriends?
Polyamory is not all about sex, Either. I am thirteen years old, And I’m flirting with the idea of asexuality. But I’m polyamorous too. I don’t want to have sex with more than one person, Or even one person. But I like the idea of being in a dating triad.
Think of your monogamous relationships. Did you start out by screwing each other? Is that the extent of your relationship? If you answered no, Polyamorous people are the same. We just want to do that with two or more people instead of one.
Polyamory IS NOT CHEATING. Cheating, From a general (relationship and non relationship) standpoint, Is defined as breaking established rules for personal benefit.
In polyamorous relationships, People have an agreement and boundaries for how date people and regularly check in to make sure everyone is following that rules. There is open communication and minimal secrets. Everything is consensual and within the established rules. The literal definition is “ETHICAL and consensual non-monogamy. ” It’s ethical, Guys. E T H I C A L.

CON POLYAMORY:

It’s damaging and hurtful. In fact one 2012 study discovered “significantly higher levels of rape, kidnapping, murder, assault, robbery and fraud in polygamous cultures.

Most polyamorous relationships start when one person in a monogamous relationship starts feeling like there is something missing and that they selfishly want to find this with someone other than their current partner. So they coerce their partner into trying polyamory. This almost always results in resentment and pain for at least one of the people involved. It’s selfish and doesn’t work out. There is a lot of turnover in poly. It is almost never long-term. Poly usually involves revolving door relationships rather than actually loving long-term. It also requires keeping the next person (or people) on deck in case someone within the relationship leaves to keep the proper balance and ensure that the practitioner is having their needs met. That being the case, it couldn’t possibly be love and must instead be selfishness.

Polyamory requires more time and energy than monogamy making it inefficient. There are greater scheduling and time management issues. It is also typically more exhausting especially for people with already harried lives.

Often practiced by those with low self-esteem, poly is a way of seeking validation through multiple partners for those who have been abused/raped.

Further, Polyamory destroys the innocence of childhood. In an environment where most of the adults are constantly looking for their next intimate escapade, it is impossible for the children to mature at a natural rate. Sexual innuendo, gestures and energies are constantly in the air around them. Perhaps even discussed outright. Children should NOT be exposed to adult sexuality. That’s child abuse. Just because you may have suffered it doesn’t mean that other children should.

The claim that children benefit from polyamorous parents by having more people to look after them and that it benefits the parent(s) as they have more support and built in babysitters (which shows the selfishness of the polyamorous) is false. In actuality, surveys show that children of poly are less happy. Also, if all the adults are busy worrying about who they are going to sleep with next, who is worrying about the needs of the children? Polyamory usually makes children into an afterthought, and unsexed “mothers” out of those mature enough to resist the madness of pursuing sexual pleasure above all else.

Claims that polyamory is not about sex is just marketing in attempt to gain greater acceptance and perhaps lure someone into their lifestyle.

PRO POLYAMORY:

Not in my book. Any intimate relationship between consenting adults is private business. Polyamory does not directly harm non-participants, so I see no reason to stigmatize it. The 2012 film Savages explores a polyamorous relationship between the three main characters, and it seemed to work out for them. Polyamory can have the same values as monogamy, but defined in a different aspect.

CON POLYAMORY:

I think that love is between two people. Love and chemistry are always between two people and polyamorous people just don’t find that chemistry between them and their partner so they just feel they want another one while keeping the other or maybe they are not sexually satisfied . I think it’s not applicable too bcz there is jealousy and other things. So i think polyamory is in most times about sexual troubles and when someone wants to date another one it’s always about sex like you see your partner only as a sex object and he is not enough if you truly love him for who he/she is you won’t need another one.

PRO POLYAMORY:

Look beyond what you’ve been taught to be “natural” or “normal”. If you truly love someone, you want them to feel free. You want to feel free. Putting limits on a relationships just is unrealistic (we naturally want to share our light with people we come across who speak to us) and stems from our own negative emotions we aren’t taking responsibility for. It’s okay to feel jealous, and insecure, but it is not your partners job to cut off other people because of it.
Love isn’t always sexual. It’s in a gaze, a gesture, playfulness, deep communication, so many things that have nothing to do with simply getting off.
I think a lot of people have that misconception, that once there are no limits it’ll be a fuckfest.
For some, maybe. But for me, it’s about being myself and being honest with how that might naturally grow into something more. We should want to love as much as we can in life. It’s ludacris to not in fear of someone else being upset about it – we should want our partners the happiest they can be.

 

 


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