Remember That Loving Yourself Is Mandatory Even When It Seems The World Doesn’t! When Was Last Time You Took Yourself Out On A Date?

People who you once thought would love you forever can sometimes leave your life as a total stranger with absolutely NO resemblance to that wonderful person who once brought so much joy to your life. There is just no way of knowing what is going on on someone else’s head!

George Benson – The Greatest Love Of All

To find out takes time, do not rush a situation until time has revealed what is hidden……..

People grow. People change. People WILL be affected by the traumatic circumstances that they must endure, you MUST make sure to watch the trajectory of their path in life so you can make a wise decision when allowing them on your space.There are precautions that will increase ones chances of making a sound decision to move forward with a potential mate on the level of complete intimacy.

To utilize these precautions takes time, do not trust a situation until time has revealed what is hidden…

You MUST watch the path left behind in anyone who desires to share their life with you, do you expect to drive away in a luxury car without even as much as a credit check? Our problems come when we do not inquire enough at a potential mates past.

To find out about ones background takes time, do not rush a situation until time has revealed what wasn’t willingly shared and spoken…..

Trust is the credit of the heart. A very low rating comes from relationships ruined by deceit, being inconsiderate & selfishness. A good rating is built from sharing, loving & giving. Never freely allow anyone to easily enjoy your emotional resources when they have consistently left a trail of pain & heartbreak in the lives of others!

To find out about the status of those past relationships takes time, do not rush a situation until time has revealed what was left behind, a mutually peaceful parting or a well covered tragedy?

Many of us price ourselves TOO LOW & are shy to demand the best for ourselves & in our potential mates! This is not a bargain basement
half-off sale! This is your love, your time, your body, your resources and YOUR LIFE!

So the question that remains is if you are being treated like the Queen that you KNOW you are with a vast respect that is evident from the daily celebration of who YOU are and the wonderful qualities of  character that you possess or are you just considered to be bargain basement booty?

Many women who have endured plenty of obstacles whether it has been emotional, mental or physical in nature have not given ourselves enough time to heal up before being enabled to handle new challenges.

Nothing happens before its time!

If you need another year to after that torturous relationship to feel like yourself again, by all means TAKE IT! But PLEASE do NOT sell yourself short just to say that you have a man by your side!

Especially when you might not be in the proper state of mind to truly access fairly what this new energy is all about in your life in the form of this man!

You wouldn’t take on a mortgage obligation without a verifiable source of steady income now would you? So why would you take on an entirely new relationship in your life when you know good and damn well that you haven’t healed up from the pain of the one prior? That is why many of us have the drama that we do! Slow it DOWN!!!

Here is one way to not be considered a cheap thrill by a sweet talking dude who KNOWS that he caught good women that might be a bit drained and confused at the time and is ripe to be used for her physical charms or financial resources…….TAKE TIME TO LOVE YOURSELF!


Let me ask you something ladies……

When was the last time that you took YOURSELF out on a date?

Sound corny?

Your better listen…….


First of all, on a day off, you need to turn OFF that cell phone and either mute or just do NOT answer your house phone. If you need to tell you close comrades that you will NOT be available for the weekend or day then do so. But you do NOT have to tell them why you are doing this and I will strongly suggest that you DO NOT! Get what ever business squared away from the day before so that you will not have to deal with ANY outside energy at ALL except maybe for a life or death emergency!

Also, the night or evening before you have this hot date with yourself, CLEAN your home to the best of your ability because you will be entertaining an extremely important person…….YOU!


You’ve cleaned up your home for everybody else who wanted to come by and lay up on you even when you really deep down didn’t want them there so why can’t YOU get the same treatment? Haven’t you worked hard enough for it to at LEAST enjoy the fruits of your labor?

You see, when a prospective man observes how special you treat yourself from his external vantage point, he will hesitate to come at you with a hidden agenda because he can see that your esteem is sky high even if it isn’t at that particular time, but at least HE wouldn’t know it because of the way that he sees you treating yourself!

Lay out your BEST for that day. And while we know that you will be dating yourself that next day, you want to come home to an atmosphere that is so uplifting to your spirits that even if you decide JUST to fall out on the couch and sleep for the rest of the night, at LEAST everything was in place for you and the choice to crash out there on the couch was purely up to you!

Lay out your best china and silverware on the table with those candles that you could never find the courage to use. Even if you do not intend to burn them, lay them out! Now, if you do not own any expensive china, then at least go out if possible and purchase something nice for ONE table setting. If this is impossible at the time (I know things are tight for many of us because of the economy!) then go on ahead and place a paper plate and a plastic knife/fork and spoon there! Why? Because it is IMPORTANT to see that there is a PLACE RESERVED for you somewhere in this world! We do for so many other people except ourselves and forsake those little pleasures that in essence are something special that we should feel on a constant basis.

After you wake up on the day of your solo date, make sure to make up the bed with the BEST sheets that you have. If you do not have something that you consider your best that’s okay, make up the bed in a flamboyant manner a little different than you usually do. The mentality her is that you are taking yourself out of your usual “space” and making yourself see that you are empowered to change your reality as it doesn’t take much to do so.

Make sure to treat your refrigerator to a few items that may be a little above your budget that you might have never treated yourself to. You know when you go to a friend’s home and see inside of their fridge and say to yourself, WOW, I need to pick up a few items like that. It may be a small jar of expensive mustard, or maybe that high end bread or biscuits, maybe two small rotisserie chickens (highly recommended, because you don’t want to have to cook when you return home from your date with yourself!) …….the trick here is to make your icebox an adventure by picking up some items that make YOU feel special! Stop being a creature of habit and surprise yourself when you open that refrigerator door in the middle of the night! Wouldn’t that be a nice feeling?


The house is clean. The bed is laid out nicely after a GREAT nights sleep. The table is dressed deliciously. You have a fridge full of goodies…….

Your crib is straight.

Now, maybe you should go for a pedicure and a trip to the beauty salon. Now this can be done the day before, the choice is yours, but make sure to at least go through the motions of “babying and pampering” YOURSELF up because the main goal of all that I am suggesting is to make YOURSELF understand that YOU are the most special individual in YOUR life who will NEVER leave you, NEVER hurt you and will be with YOU more than any other person or entity in the entire world other than your Creator!

So by going at life with THIS state of mind you will understand that you can NEVER love yourself TOO MUCH and if someone suggests to you that you are then CHECK OUT THEIR AGENDA in your life because evidently they feel as though some of your attentions should support their motivations and that is not always such a good thing! I mean HECK, we are only speaking of one day to yourself here but if truth be told this should be a regular practice!

Now after you return home from your much deserved pampering session, which should include a trip to pick up a pair or two OR THREE of new shoes, a few brand new outfits if possible and a trip to Victoria’s Secret to purchase a few new pairs of  “honey pot holders” (Panties! LOL!) that NO MAN has ever seen you in, take a luxurious and relaxing bath with those candles, flower petals and special bath oils that have been sitting up on the shelf for an eternity. Grab a book, even if you do not read it and put on some soft music but whatever you do, make sure to buffer your existence at this point from the outside world as much as possible! You don’t want to hear any cars going by playing their loud music so keep those windows closed. And by all means do NOT answer the door if the doorbell rings at this point, even if it is a nosy neighbor who saw you just come in from your mini shopping spree, be proactive and leave a taped note on the door stating to “Please do not interrupt my afternoon prayer session!”…….this will stop them in their tracks every time! LOL!

Actually, it wouldn’t be a bad idea at all to bring your Bible with you in order to absorb a few scriptures as you luxuriate in the peaceful tranquility of those all consuming suds…….

Make sure to shower off the outside grit BEFORE you indulge in your bath, take as long as you want in there even if you take a short nap! This is YOUR time darling!

Did I also mention that you should have picked out some flowers from the local flower shop to have them delivered to your address by tomorrow or the first available day that you will be home AFTER your date? Why? Because you are sending them to yourself and thanking yourself for spending such a wonderful time with yourself and how you are looking forward to spending more quality time like this with yourself again REALLY SOON!

Leave it unsigned and take a few photos of it when it arrives because flowers do die…….


Because when the time comes for that prospective love interest to enter your life, he needs to see the high standard of dating that you are used to enjoying…….he doesn’t have to know who those flowers came from! Heck, if HE can’t love you better than you do then what do you need him around for?


It’s time to go out! I suggest not even making ANY reservations but if you wish to explore and enjoy a high end dining experience then I would suggest that you do, because many five star establishments will NOT just allow you to appear and get in immediately unless you have superstar status and about 50 or so paparazzi trailing and stalking your every move!

What I want you to achieve in your special day is an air of the unexpected, the spontaneous, the unplanned. I find that those times that are not charted out ahead of time can be the most fun because you never know what can happen next from one moment to the next one!

Go to a movie first? Sure! If you want to, but you can do this anytime. I find that going to the movies by yourself when you are out on this type of date WITH yourself can make you feel out of place when the couple in front of you is more interested in kissing up a storm than the actual movie as the focus here is not thinking about your marital status but treating your mind, body and soul to a rejuvenating and refreshing experience that leaves you feeling brand new!

But you can do as you wish! A play. The opera. A walk through some of the ultra affluent/expensive stores that you might not be able to afford at this time but no one would ever figure that out because you now look like the superstar that you really are right now!

This whole thing is about doing YOU!

Get the picture?

If you want to stay out all night long then do so! If you want to flirt and enjoy some “no pressure” male energy then do so! You are beautiful! You are sexy! You are intelligent! You need to know this and will find this out when you put your vehicle on the racetrack of life! YOU are the star darling and the world is your audience who is clamoring to witness YOUR performance!

Understand where I’m coming from?

See, while you may not be a narcissistically driven women who craves huge amounts of attention and has the world sick and tired of your “me me me” demands, you at least deserve to travel in that lane of indulgence and know that you are worthy of all of the love, attention and amenities that you can handle because if you look at how HARD you have worked and how many sacrifices you have made not only for yourself but for OTHER people who may not even BE in your life anymore but still enjoy the advantages of what YOU have done for them,  if you are truly honest with yourself you are long OVERDUE!

Now when you arrive home after such a wonderful time on the town doing everything that YOU wanted to do, stand right in front of that fridge, peel off a few pieces of that rotisserie chicken and take a sip of that wine or even a little juice…….

Take off your clothes and throw them down to the floor making a trail behind you of what you had on earlier……(It’s okay, we know that you are clean but tonight this is about carefree indulgence!)

Go to your bedroom and gaze down upon that bed that was made up so nicely for YOU and as your stand there feeling so fulfilled in those sexy Victoria’s Secret panties that possess an even more delicious scent because YOU wore them that day, CRASH if you wish and let the bed take the full brunt of your weight and look up at the ceiling and repeat after me:

YOUR NAME“, that was the most wonderful time that I have had in recent memory, I promise to always love you, I promise I will never hurt you and I promise that NO ONE will ever come between this feeling ever again to cause me confusion and if I allow anyone in MY delicious space, they have to earn the right to be there by PROVING their mettle over the course of time but NO ONE and I mean NO ONE, will EVER consider me a cheap piece of easy to get BARGAIN BASEMENT BOOTY in THIS lifetime!

After this affirmation of self commitment, it is time to rest and fall out into the most pleasurable slumber…….

…….if need be, go ahead and touch those moistened spots that will surely send you over the brink of ecstasy.

It’s your body.

And NO one can do it like you can!


Ain’t nothing like some drama free bliss…….

Good night…….


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About The Author

Media Personality / President Of ScurvMedia LLC / International Social Media Influencer / Culture Critic / Podcast Host / Blogger / Cartoonist & Activist who focuses on the issues of raw human nature the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch! 

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  • JoChurchman says:

    well said Lance.. and yes ur right.. even though you want ur blogs to reach out to the world.. they also have to reach out to the SELF.. and I am so glad you saw this…

    You are once again right in what you say here… I truly believe that a person has to fall in love with themself before that mate or anyone else of lvoe comes into their ives… LOVE THY SELF.. LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR.. LOVE THY FELLOW MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD..


    Leaving behind the stresses and worries of my past.. I am now commited to a better and more peaceful and lovable future…

    And before i am willing to see what annoys me or bugs me about people.. I look at myself first as obviously this is a problem i have about myself and in turn. helps me to deal with my life in such a better manner.. I want the best for me which in turn will provide the best for my children!!

    Peace out.. and TY again for such a wonderful Blog!!!



  • You know, it's a funny thing because for the last few months or so, I have not been heeding my own advice in making it mandatory in taking care of myself as I should.

    So this past week since I celebrated my 48th birthday this past April 8th, I stumbled upon this particular blog post and the words hit me so hard as if it were someone else speaking them to me and words that came FROM me!

    I guess that's the beauty of divine inspiration, when something of truth and principle flows through us it is oftentimes something that WE must take heed to also even if we were the chosen vessel to share this realization.

    So although I still have a very hectic schedule and demand so much of myself with the time that I have, I made a point of leaving the car behind to take a walk along the scenic route or not answering every single phone call as they come in. If most of us took that precious "me" time, there would be less people going to the "crazy house" and more "homes" being enjoyed more because it wouldn't merely be just a "house!"

    Do make a point of sharing this article with your friends on Facebook by hitting the "recommend" button above!

    God Bless You All,

    Lance "Scurv" Scurvin

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