Before I say anything else further in this piece, let it be known that I am not speaking about every woman when I said that ladies should stop looking for a man to save them.
Evidently this can never apply to every woman because every woman doesn’t think in such a sorry manner.
But the reality is that too many of our sisters in all races, colors and creeds think this way to the point that they’ve handicapped their own abilities to achieve and manifest those seeds that God placed in them as they wait like dry soil literally praying for a “good man” to magically arrive and pay all of their bills, take them into a new worry and trouble free reality and treat them like a Queen while eagerly waiting on them hand and foot!
This is when the problems really begin because as the years go by in their life and there is no appearance by that mythical knight in shining armor, that woman who is in a dreamworld now becomes very bitter now that she realizes that the wool hat has been pulled over her eyes as she would have been so much better off living without those unrealistic expectations.
But it is that bitterness that has become so profitable in today’s world. Not only that, but the hurt, pain and sense of broken dreams that have been amplified by the benefactors of that pain have pushed their bank accounts and popularity into the stratosphere and that cash cow doesn’t seem as though it will end anytime soon.
It’s business as usual for many but if these particular women were taught in the first place to never expect a man to clean up all of their troubles and take their lives to the next level, they would have been better off indeed!
Fairy-tales do come true and there are many woman who have experienced this thing called everlasting love, but too many get set up for a huge disappointment in thinking that this scenario is their birthright and something that is written in stone to happen!
But where did this type of thinking come from? Where did it originate?
Now I’m not an expert on this phenomenon so I am forced to speculate just like anyone else, but the difference with me is that by me being here thinking out loud for the world to see puts me in the unenviable position to get stomped publicly if the readers don’t agree with my very transparent yet intimate thoughts.
But you know what? So be it…….don’t blog of you can’t take the negative blow back! But deep down I kind of love it! Lol!
But really. Where did this damsel in distress foolishness come from? Is it a cultural thing?
Not all women in the world think this way but to get down to the unpleasant side of it I would say that proportionately that there are a high amount of Black American and Black Americanized women who subscribe to this theory.
I mean, some of the sisters that I know have stressed themselves harder with each passing year as they attend wedding after wedding with no prospects for making their own matrimonial announcement of their own no where in sight.
That’s really got to hurt. I do sympathize with the pain that these ladies feel and am not speaking of this often avoided topic as a means of amplifying anyone’s emotions that are probably already at the boiling point but someone has to do it!
But you have to know that we invite our own demise when we let these opportunistic people into our lives who present themselves as the cure for our ills. So women who think in the manner of being obsessed with a man dropping out of the clouds to save them are especially are risk more than others because their passion is worn on their sleeve.
When new male energy in their midst, they light up in a manner that is so obvious to the snake that masquerades as her savior. He takes advantage of the smokescreen of goodness that she falls for before the infatuation with his presence subsides.
His promises are never followed through with, but she never holds him accountable because it feels too good to not feel the voids and chasms that his lies have temporarily filled so excellently, that she is so willing to ride out on an illusion before even inquiring into those red flags that now scream out at her and beckon her to investigate what she refuses to acknowledge.
This my dear you must understand that you do have needs that are righteous and there is nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do when you crave a man in your life. But you must control this desire until you have met the right one and even that process takes lots of time.
Your protection against loneliness is movement toward self improvement and your independence on all levels of existence – financial & emotionally especially – but understand that the very thing that will protect you is the very thing that will make you even more attractive to these predators who can play on your need to be “saved” even though you may be financially independent and THINK you are emotionally taken care of even if it is under your own steam.
You might be rich but need to be “saved” because that little hurt girl that you were growing up is still alive and well and needs the attention that one of these sharks promise to give. Your needs can be just about anything and in any category of the human experience.
So before you proceed with anyone who you feel is the best prospect to be that life partner, make sure that he is truly thinking along the same lines and that your emotional currency is the same and take your time to get to know who this stranger is.
This takes time.
If a man is not willing to spend time to get to know you then he should be automatically deleted from you life in that capacity and not to be taken serious enough for you to invest anytime spent with him. I don’t care if you can accept being a booty call for him or settling for being friends with benefits, do you think a future Husband wants to discover that his Queen of a Wife was merely another man’s sperm receptacle and glorified friction provider?
NO! So stop given these strange spirited men your intimate charms because you are worth more than the pleasure that you can give a temporary visitor for a moment. Stop nurturing these men thinking that you are going to one day soon get from him what you need in return!
I will soon be doing some more on this topic because their is so much that is revealed to me in my spirit and there are not too many people out here really sharing from the heart what others are afraid or ashamed to express. I do care for my Sisters but I will not soften my stance on truth or lie to them to sooth them in an ignorance that will allow someone else who has a wicked agenda in their heart to wreck their world!
Truth & Righteous Love Always,