I was up really for no other reason than to bring in my birthday as I do every year by staying up until the time I was born at 5:34 a.m. on April 8th, this time it was 50 years ago in 1963.
On nights like this for as long as I can remember, I could never fall asleep until the clock told me that it was 5:34, afterward, I can never recall when I dosed off as my mission was complete.
I knew 50 years ago as soon as I was born that I was to be a revolutionary of sorts because I was smacked hard by this mean White man in the first few seconds of life at the Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital directly across the street from where Malcolm X was shot in the Audubon Ballroom. LOL! Just a joke y’all!
But where my other birthdays breezed past me without much regard because of the arrogant juices of youth that flowed through my veins, this time was different because I can see and feel my mortality as we all begin to figure out that we just won’t live forever.
It’s funny how a few decades worth of memories in your mind can teach you about life in your most quiet moments when you take the time to reflect. It’s almost like those last few bites of a delicious and favorite meal that’s coming to an end where you slow down to enjoy each bite in comparison to when you you shoved the food down out of hunger. The less food that’s on the plate is the more valuable each bite now becomes.
What I’ve found at this particular junction point in my life personally is that you enjoy the often overlooked things in life even more so as you get older if you do a few things right. I’ve always been one to absorb the scenario around me in all of it’s graphic detail, but what many around me probably don’t know is that I enjoy each of those moments more so than most!
…….and this is how I’ve been from my younger ages and this is how I can share a prior experience down to great detail and make a simple task like taking out the garbage compare to a big screen cliff hanger blockbuster star studded movie.
So now at the age of 50 I still feel as though my best days are ahead of me yet I know that I am coming closer to a higher awareness that will take me places from within that may have been beyond my perception. It’s a state of being that I so look forward to embracing.
The question was asked of me earlier by my dear friend Julia Thomas where she inquired if now being 50 felt any different than any other time in my life and many others asked what advice would I give to someone who was much younger that they could understand and actually use to improve the quality of their earthly experience and I had to ask them afterward if they had a few weeks to hear what I had to say! LOL!
….because you all know how long winded I can get when you get me talking, especially when it is on a subject so deep. Heck, by the time I come out of my filibuster speech I would most likely have lost most of you because of my abstract and fast paced manner of thinking.
But one of the most effective things that I can pass on that anyone can use immediately is that we all need to have the ability to “live in the moment.”
You would be surprised as to how many people might physically be present with you somewhere yet their minds are so far away that they are not absorbing the reality around them at that moment.
What a waste of life…….
What could be so important aside from a major tragedy that one would forfeit the guaranteed present for an uncertain experience elsewhere? Yes, we all can become stressed at times and have things on our minds but there are some individuals who stay in a distracted zone perpetually no matter what is transpiring in their lives.
Not a good thing at all.
I remember when working in Corrections that those who happened to be there as inmates would be motivated out of boredom to recall every single detail of their lives outside of those confined walls. They relished in the good times and hung on to every minute detail of the pleasurable times that were so lean in their present state of captivity.
This was a personal lesson to me and really taught me something about humankind that I never realized before.You see, we have so much life going on around us at any given moment and it is up to us to consciously open the mental floodgates in order to immerse ourselves in that goodness so that we can store the experience in our minds so that we can have the ability to replay it over and over again in the future.
In a sense for me, this ability to live a pleasurable past event in my life is comparable to having a packed lunch with me during my work day so that I will never go hungry.
You will never go hungry in this life for something to think about or hash over to discover answers to past dilemmas if you totally live in the moment that you are in. We have allowed ourselves to become out of synchronization with our surroundings to the point where we are never there to see the unique beauty of what that moment can bring.
Seems like many people that I know are mentally dwelling in some sort of area of perpetual torture because when they are at work they are wishing that they were at home. Then, when they are hone they are counting down the time to when they will have to return to work! HOW SAD INDEED!
In order to straighten this mental rut out you will have to understand that there is a beauty to EVERY moment that we live through. STOP dreading the job that you are on and if there are individuals there that possess a negative energy about them that happens to piss you off constantly then you must learn to go into your “lunch bag of bliss” and take a bite out of the good times that you have prepared for yourself by living in that moment and enjoying it all over again in your mind even though you may feel as though you are operating behind enemy lines and in the line of fire on that job.
It works like a charm for me but I will say that it will take a bit of practice.
You have to understand that your mind is one of the most powerful tool and weapon that you will ever possess in your journey through this earthly plane and your understanding of how to use it for your advantage is the single most factor that will make a big difference in how you navigate and look back on your life.
Isn’t it funny how two siblings can look back on the same childhood in such a completely different way? Well this is because they are both unique in their way of seeing things and will color their experience differently because of their temperament, the trick is for us is to manipulate our way of thinking so that we can see the good in that present moment and hold on to it for when we need it when times get hard.
Notice how you feel when you are walking down the street in a crowded shopping area. Look into the sea of faces of the people who seem to busy to catch your gaze as you smile at them. Freeze the moment and make it last forever when you do receive a smile in return and stash it away in your bag of memories so that you can draw a sense of connectedness from that person later on down the line even though you both were strangers and might never see each other again.
Get the picture of where I’m coming from?
So now at the age of 50 I have a LIFETIME of memories and a very full bag that’s packed with an amazing menu of delicious experiences that will be carried with me through every step of my life and shared with all here online and face to face to benefit all who come across my path if they desire to partake in it.
It’s merely that undetectable process of becoming an Elder. At one time in my life I was valued because of the strength of my limbs, but now at this point I see that many value me because of the wisdom that I have to share about life only because they know that I have “been there and done that” on a hands on level and am not merely repeating to them what I read in a book.
I am loving this transition into the man that I believe God wanted me to become and it is a journey that I now look forward to in THIS particular gear as those old things that I use to do in life that were so obviously foolish I no longer have a taste for.
No matter what happens after this point in my life I can say that I made it through regardless as to what was thrown my way as I have my health, strength and presence of mind as well as an overwhelming enthusiasm to continue on a life journey that has been nothing short of magnificent!
For that I will always thank my loving God for the moments that He has afforded me to become the person that I am today. I done some wrong things in my life and have made some bad choices but overall the good outweighs the bad but at least with each passing year of my life I can say that each new model or version of the man that is referred to as Lance Scurvin is better than the previous years model so what more could I really ask for?
The mission from this point on for me is to leave a legacy through my creative abilities that could help someone who may have found themselves in very similar situations to mine and need an answer on how to make a better choice and to get myself ready and prepared for the next level of existence after I leave this wonderful speck of dust in the universe called the planet Earth.
But with the remaining time that my God has allotted to me here, I will continue to live in the moment and soak every detail like a sponge so that I can share my love and life here on these pages for all to enjoy.
Thank you all for the love, the memories, the advice, the emotions, the motivation and the connectedness that you’ve all shared in abundance to make my life experience so much sweeter!
The memories that you have afforded me is like the perfect seasoning to an already delicious meal and I intend to enjoy each moment in the restaurant of life devouring every aromatic delectable BITE!
…….I wish I could stay here longer to share my rambling but I want to reply to all of these Happy Birthday messages and then take a long walk to think about how good my life has been regardless of the necessary bad times that I have endured. Overall it’s been such a great run and if my life were to end now I’ve down so much and am so thankful for it!
Peace & Righteous Love Always,
Your 50 Year Old Brother<