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The 10 Things That Black People Need To Start Doing Right Now For A Better Life IN 2011!

Forget the posturing and false promises that come with a New Years resolution, I’m talking about implementing some permanent life changes for a lifestyle revolution! I am quite sure that ninety-five percent of you have already strayed from that resolution that you swore you would stick to until years end and be successful as you would overcome the temptation to stray from that path that you have committed to.

The most popular resolution always is the one where we promise to ourselves that we are going to lose weight. But heck! Most of us appear as though we have made a promise to PUT ON some weight! Some weight? A whole LOT of it! There is no way that many of you are going to even stay at the same weight by the type of contents that I see some of you rolling around the supermarket with in your shopping carts! Some shopping cart contents are so outrageously unhealthy that a few of you need to bring a blanket with you to cover that cart up to keep other people who are there to shop from seeing how bad you eat and the choices in food that you make because it’s a disgrace!

It’s a damn shame when some of us go food shopping that the items that we attempt to bring up to the cashier makes it appear as though we are throwing a birthday party for a bunch of kids! Cakes, cookies, sugary so called treats, chips, candy etc. I had a young man standing behind me in the checkout line at Walmart and he was standing so close to me that one of his Double D breasts keep brushing by my arm, now if it were a woman it would have not been such a bad experience at all but a dude? Heck no! I leaned away a bit to give his titty a little room to sway freely and at the same time I glanced into his cart. It needed a blanket too!

 

This dude had literally everything that would be considered a poor food choice in his cart and to add insult to injury he was pulling TWO CARTS of bad food with him to take home! I knew it was for him and him alone and I knew that his doctor loved him because his doctor would definitely be able to afford that Bentley because of all of the visits that this young man probably pays to his office!

Well I turned my attentions at the moment to the items that I choose to purchase, made a mental note of the approximate costs and stepped up in the checkout line to wait for every item to be tallied so I can then slide my card and pay for my groceries. Pretty peaceful and predictable afternoon wouldn’t you say?

I mean, I would say so, I was heading home and was in a peaceful zone pretty much as I was soon free of the never ending right titty attacks on my left arm by the chubby dude behind me.

Now I really do not make fun of anyone with a weight problem because many individuals have hormonal imbalances or may have an extreme emotional issue that is not addressed and seek comfort through excessive eating to douse the pain away temporarily and attain a distance from the primary issue that they are trying to avoid. I understand that. Trust me I do and I have great sympathy and keep those people in my prayers constantly and will always be here to support them.

That being said, I do have a problem with individuals who refuse to take care of themselves within reason and are actually brazen about a condition that they have caused because of a neglect to adhere to the basic tenets of good health. Those types had a choice and chose not to heed to their better judgment to indulge in the health smashing indulgences that brought them to that sorry state of physical affairs.

That being said, let me continue to share my introductory tale……..

Now as this kind young lady added up my purchases at the checkout line, I kind of zoned out deep in thought about something as the sound of electronic “blips” let m know that I purchased even more items than I recalled. Well as I realized that I went three dollars over my budget for the day with my card in my hand that I was about to swipe, the cashier RAN AWAY holding her nose!

What happened????

I looked around to see if there was any danger or threat to my being and at that very moment that I turned around, my nose caught THE WORSE toxic fart that I EVER had the displeasure of inhaling!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!

I quickly exhaled as I too ran over to where the cashier was standing as this was not the kind of nasal assault that you can endure by holding your nose briefly while feeling a small wave of anger from within while letting that storm “blow over.” NO! This was different!
This was the smell of DEATH! Did something die and rot somewhere that we didn’t know about? Surely there was no type of cheese that was sold in Walmart that could have smelled like THAT!

What was it?

Well to add insult to injury as I approach the area which was now considered the inhalation “safety zone”, the cashier frantically waved me away telling me NOT to come near her and keep my stink ass farts to myself!

WHAT?

Did she just say to keep MY stink ass farts to myself? MINE? But wait. Did she think I did that? How could she say that I did that? I mean, one of the most embarrassing scenarios as well as a situation that will piss me off real quick is to be blamed for someone ELSE’S lack of sphincter etiquette! I am not taking the blame for that and will go out of my way to find and publicly ridicule the guilty culprit
especially of they did NOT say excuse me or apologize for the slip. Hey. At least one could do is walk away to a safe distance to show some respect and if they happen to walk that invisible string of fart vapor back with them you can’t get as mad because at least they tried.

Now it became quite evident to everyone within the proximity of that terrorist attack that it wasn’t me because after seeing the line behind me move back ten feet to leave only one person standing there it was now obvious who committed this distasteful act…….

It was the young man with the double d bra size who standing behind me in the line a few moments earlier! The guy with the cart full of bad food! That’s why he stunk like that!

Now because of how obvious it was on who the culprit is, the cashier apologized to me as she attempted to return to her task of adding up my tab but the scent still hung heavily and aggressively in the air. It cleared a little from what I can remember but it appeared to be what I call an “oil based fart,” this is the type of anally ejected gas that will hover in the same spot even in a category 5 hurricane! It stays put!!!

My main concern at this point was to pay for my items and get the HECK out of there with the quickness. But low and behold, there was an attitude lurking about that was thicker than the pre-dodo fart that this pig of a man inflicted on our now paralyzed sense of smell.

As I swiped my card while the cashier hurriedly packed my food while for a moment I considered just leaving everything there, but as I glanced back at fart-man he definitely wasn’t a happy camper. “Why?” I thought to myself, “Why would he be mad when it was HE who insulted half of a Walmart with his nasty deed?

Well he let it all hang out hen he said; “You all act like you don’t pass gas too! You ain’t no better than me!”

………oh no he didn’t.

Now I was going to lay down a piece of my mind and it wasn’t going to be pretty! Not only did he bomb every form of life within a five aisle proximity in the store without apologizing or excusing himself, but he had the nerve to be brazen with it to boot! I gave that guy a lesson in healthy eating, proper etiquette, personal hygiene, weight reduction and the drawbacks of BAD BREATH!

I won’t take another minute of your time going into detail on how I aggressively ripped his soul apart because of his obnoxious attitude after his that social crime, but I learned that day that their are certain things that we need to be made aware of and be responsible for as a human being. It’s not just a Black thing, it’s everyone, but the reason I name this blog as I did because I’ve noticed over the course of my life that their ARE things that Black people do even MORE than others and it needs to be addressed!

But it seems like no one wants to speak about it.

But this is why the Dear Lord created your friendly neighborhood Scurv, because I damn sure will!

Okay, drum roll please………

The 10 Things that Black people need to start doing right now for a better life in 2011…….

1) PAY YOUR BILLS ON TIME!
While it’s one thing for an unexpected medical emergency to make one a little late on their financial obligations, there is absolutely NO excuse for NOT paying your bills on time because you just HAD to splurge the rent money on that shopping spree at the shopping mall just because everything was marked down in price. Have you ever heard about something called a credit score? Well, whether you know it or not, everything you do as far as where you purchase and how you fulfill your financial obligations are on record with the three major credit reporting bureaus.

So if you have a record and history of NOT paying your bills on time you will definitely pay for it in the form of a larger interest rate when and IF (And that’s a big if these days in this struggling economy!) you get that important house or car loan. It costs MONEY to be irresponsible with your spending habits and the rule cannot be broken when you hit the lottery or even hit that big “number” in the ‘hood. Your history is your history and being a fool with lots of money does NOT make one credit worthy! This also goes for the individuals who have NO credit history or work history at all.

 

You must realize that while you may be able to get away with it for a time it is NO JOKE when you are not young anymore and find yourself in the emergency room late at night and find that you have to pay out of pocket to get treated and pay out big time for that medication that you will need to get better! Throw away your younger years trying to keep up with the Jones’s while they might be the ones to have their finances straight might be your downfall. And it’s a surefire way to realize that your best years were already spent in the club shaking your ass when you could have been building some type of stability. I’m just being real and want us to wake up so I am providing the links to the Three Credit Reporting Bureaus at the end of this segment. Contact them and learn how to improve your credit score while directly affecting the quality of life that you live even if it is to merely avoid those embarrassing moments when you are on a date at the Chinese joint with Shaniqua and your credit card (If you have one in the first place!) is turned down. At least start somewhere! Experian Equifax Transunion

2) STOP BELIEVING EVERYTHING THAT YOU HEAR:

Gossip is not just a Black thing. But when it IS a Black thing it just seems to be even more of a nasty situation than with other races and you know what I am saying is the truth because NOTHING good comes out of idle gossip for the most part. Now granted, we are all human beings and have a need to know what is going on in our world but when we put too much weight on what others say about us or other people, this shows me that YOU have too much idle time sitting around doing nothing to even entertain such foolishness! I have three words that I use every time someone attempts to bring me a piece of worthless negative talk: “CONSIDER THE SOURCE!”

Yes, consider who it is that is taking the time to share this crap with you. Are they progressive? Are they living the life that you want to live? Are they a master in their chosen field of expertise? Are they hungrily attacking life in a positive manner to constantly improve themselves in every way mentally, physically and spiritually? If these dead weights are not about something worthwhile then their words have absolutely no credibility with me what so ever.

 

While I will always respect everyone in my path who respects me, I will also respect the fact that time waits on no one and NOT waste the precious time that I have posturing around with someone who is content to merely coast through life at someone ELSE’S expense! Gossip clogs the positive flow of thoughts. Remember that everything that was ever created was the product of a thought. So you have got to figure then what kind of reality will be created when you have a bunch of people sitting around in a non productive manner talking bad about their neighbor who gets up everyday and goes to WORK for theirs? What you have are a bunch of people who are perpetuating the mess that is called ‘hood!

 

This is why some people and places do not want to see US coming!…….Not all of us, but enough of us! You’ve heard it before: “Uh-oh, there goes the neighborhood!” And we live up to their low expectations and tear up where ever we go. Stop the gossip and replace it with positive talk and PRAYER and there would be no more ‘hoods because if we prayed as hard and worked as diligently as we got up in other people’s business, we would have HEAVEN ON EARTH! Think about it!

3)PICK UP A BOOK SOMETIMES:

Let me jump right on this one! The sports pages of the newspaper doesn’t count you in as being an avid reader. Blindly surfing the internet doesn’t count you as being an intellectual either, because surfing is non directional and you pretty much land where you land and pick up the mentally transmitted diseased crap that is thrown out there to clog your mind! what I am talking about is reading a book! A physical book! Now MAYBE I could warm up to a Kindle but I am still pretty much old school.

There is nothing like hurriedly turning the pages of a good informative book that is so compelling that it is very difficult to put down even for a second. There is nothing like the relationship and bound that one enjoys when they truly connect with a good book. It used to be when you entered someone’s home that you could tell what their interests were by the content of their home library. HOME LIBRARY? These days that means “Home Videogame Collection” or that secret stash of a “Home Porn DVD Collection” but BOOKS?

 

Not any more!

 

And if the truth be told, this is why our children are suffering! There are just too many distractions. It’s bad enough that a poor diet high in sugar has their attention spans already in a state of disarray but to allow them to learn on a computer whose internet connection allows all types of distractions in the form of pop-ups, icons present for games, annoying sounds that rob one of the ability to concentrate but it is a challenge for ANYONE to focus on the task at hand. Keeping your mind centrally focused on a book at home will keep one’s behind OUT of Central Booking at the jail!

4)STAY INFORMED:

I am not talking about being informed on the latest episode of General Hospital or who was really the father on the Maury Povich show. I am speaking of keeping yourself informed on what directly impacts your world in a very important manner. Now, everyone knows that I drive a bus here in Orlando Florida. But I have to say that it gives me a grass roots proximity to the thousands of real people to whom I communicate with every single day that I am behind that wheel. So believe me when I tell you, MOST of our people keep themselves inform with things that are totally irrelevant and completely useless when it comes to being truly empowered. Some of the foolishness that we make a point to keep up on does nothing to keep us ahead of the curve of important transactions on a neighborhood level but also how events from around the world can affect us on a global plane also.

The problem is, we do not see ourselves usually as citizens of the world. We want so bad to appear as though we are on our game and will even live a fake ass internet life on sites like Facebook or Youtube acting out these fantasies of being aware and connected on a global level but are not relevant in any way beyond the few blocks of your neighborhood and really not even THAT! To be truly informed is to be empowered. Sounds corny but it’s true. It makes me LAUGH when I see Black people who have lived in neighborhoods for generation after generation and do not know what is planned for that very same neighborhood in the next twenty years because they have never attended a neighborhood meeting with planners from the local government to get feedback on whether it would be good to open up a shopping mall right across the street from where many of the long term residents live.

 

Now most wouldn’t want the very template of their neighborhood changed drastically like this but the fact of the matter is when construction begins it is then too late to bitch and moan about it when you couldn’t get your ass up early that morning nine years ago when you had the OPPORTUNITY to speak your mine and be heard and to take the necessary steps to STOP the construction legally if you felt so strongly about it! But as always, while we never picked up those free coupon books at the supermarket that contained a bulletin announcing that there would be a proposed construction happening if the votes could go through, we gave up the chance because we didn’t make a point to keep ourselves informed!

 

Read something of relevance!

 

Call down to your local and county offices and ASK about the things going on in your neighborhood. Take ownership of all local affairs and when you do the local politicians will respect you, the local police might be hesitate to bust you in the head as fast and you will have empowered yourself as a citizen which by the last time I researched, carried great power. Empower yourself with information, throw it all away with ignorance!

One more point: STOP telling these Asian, Middle Eastern and Caribbean (etc.) store owners and merchants that this is YOUR neighborhood and that YOU were here first and that they can go back to where they came from! Stop it NOW! You know why? Because it sounds so damn ignorant! It does! Look at it this way, if “THEY” can come here to this country and start a business in “YOUR” so called neighborhood then what in the hell are you doing supporting them if you do not like them at all? Then keep your fat ass out of the Chinese take out joint if you have a problem with them because it goes to show you that “YOU” haven’t done a damn thing WITH your life if you can tell someone that couldn’t at one time speak the language that THEY should go back to where ever the HELL their country is!

 

Another angle to this is that technically it IS more of their neighborhood and COUNTRY than it is yours, you know why? Walk into any of their establishments and look on the wall to see the amount of permits and licenses that they had to pay for. This is not taking into to consideration the amount of taxes that they have had to pay to even REMAIN in business so take your ill informed complaining ignorant Black ass out of there making everyone of us who share your same external packaging embarrassed because now others who received a taste of your gross ignorance will now expect the same annoying buffoonery out of ME! Hell, that’s like being blamed for someone else’s stink FART! And you KNOW how I can’t stand THAT! LOL!

5)CUT OUT THE BAD FOOD IN YOUR DIET:

Some of us won’t put cheap gas in our vehicles but we will put the worst fuel in our precious God given bodies! How backward! We brag about how we have in our possession the finest materialistic goods of the land yet can’t tell you when the last time we went to they doctor for a check up and to get our blood work completed to see if we have any hidden deficiencies to be attended to. You can always replace the rims on your car but you only have one body! Why is it that we can happily spend more cash on our sneakers than we will on a routine visit to the dentist and complain about how much the co-pay is?

Heck, you better be glad that you even HAVE health insurance coverage, you would really be bitchin’ about having to pay the entire bill all by yourself! Don’t you realize that our bodies are self healing and all we have to do is to merely put down a diet of raw foods that will not only keep us in pristine health but bring back our natural beauty as well as that youthful glow? There is no secret to good health but many of your doctors don’t want you to even know or practice the good habits because you wouldn’t have to visit him at all unless it was because of an accident that brought harm to your body but not because of a self inflicted malfunction brought on by a poor diet. Look at the abundance of food that we have available to us in the ‘hood that is cheap, fast and generally never short of an over-stimulation on the taste buds. Why is this the case? Why aren’t there all night fruit markets or health food stores in the poor Black neighborhoods in America?

 

Demand and supply.

 

We wouldn’t patronize these establishments anyway and they would go out of business within a month. We are mentally dead when it comes in knowing how to take care of ourselves and we lie and tell ourselves (SOME of you Ladies, not all!) that because we can go and purchase about four pounds of fake hair to wear in a style two feet up in the air (To slim down your silhouette), a ton of makeup (To hide the bad skin that comes from not exercising, not getting sunlight and not drinking any water to flush your system!), black tights and stiletto heels (Again, for the slimming effect that it has on your profile) with along shirt to hide a gut that is backed up with toxic food. But you feel so good because the brothas at the club are telling you that you look good only because they want to get sex out of you and the “good” that they mean when they say this is not the good that one means when they feel you have a healthy look, it’s only a lust thing.

And there are even more of us (Some of you men, not all!) who expect a woman to be held to higher standards than yourself when it comes time to be intimate, you say inconsiderate things about her in a joking way when you know deep down inside that she may be insecure about a few things on her body but you never took the time to look in the mirror your damn self to see how bad you look with a gut that looks like you are in your third trimester of pregnancy. She has an excuse, she had kids, what about you? The bad food that you consume keeps you from even performing to satisfactory levels because of the high blood pressure that comes from the fried pork and diabetes that was brought on by abusing your digestive system with all of those sugary non nutritive beverages of death that have you looking like an old man twice your age when you should be in the prime of life.

Good health has to be earned and we cannot earn it as a people by falling victim to the perverted cravings that have been cultivated living on these shores in this society that refuses to follow the laws of God and his dietary commands. Follow those and you will enjoy a lifetime to trouble free health but pay the consequences over time when you don’t. Remember that when you spend top dollar at the gas pump while you shovel down a large order of pork fried rice!

6)SAVE YOUR MONEY:

Why do we as Black people have to wear our wealth on our sleeve for all to see? Why do we have the mindset that even when some of us DO hit the lottery for millions, we almost always end up broke with much less than we had before we came into our good fortune? Why is it that we can live in the projects but wear the most expensive designer clothes that are sold in the store yet almost always fall late and short on our rent? WHY? Why is it that our entire demeanor changes when we get a tax return check that makes us prance around the mall like we own it while the shop owners secretly laugh at us because they see a dumb Black nigger with some money strutin’ down the walkway ready to stroke their ego because they are a millionaire for a few (If that many!) days.

Why can’t we get it right for once in our lives. For some reason I have observed that many (Not all!) Black folks are scared to make money and save it for a rainy day. It is difficult for us to save and I believe it is partially because deep down subconsciously we equate the accrual of our various forms of desired trinkets with our self worth. That has to be it. Because many of us have been so used to having nothing at all that we go crazy when we do have a little more than we ever had before. But it is all relative. It also depends what you are taught to put value on also, I was taught the value of an education even though I never went to college. That was circumstantial but I never stop the hunger that I possessed deep in my belly to learn. So when I am in the midst of an individual that has a great lust to possess all of the toys that they can handle, after a while they begin to despise me because what they value doesn’t get me excited, because if they were to be able to sit down and have a very deep conversation with me as a thinking man or woman, I would so excited! But how adrenalized can I be talking to someone about how much the tires on their luxury car costs. That’s a quick way to put me to sleep.

But we need to see beyond the frivolous events of the day and plan our lives for some type of security. Saving and tithing ones money is a great way to start. So many of us literally kill of a wonderful future because we cannot see past the next party or the next big event in our city to realize that we are the one’s who have always been the consumers while others swoop down and capitalize on our partying for THEIR benefit! Wake up and keep your money in your POCKETS!

7) STOP WATCHING SO MUCH TELEVISION:

I don’t know about anyone else but I am not a spectator in life, I am the one that people come to see at the stadium. I say this symbolically because most people want to be entertained but not many want to really and truly PARTICIPATE in this wonderful thing called life. I do watch television in limited amounts but only to watch the news and even then I filter it because it is mainly a tool of propaganda to mold the thinking of the masses to become non effective in their lives but ready, willing and able to do the bidding of their oppressor on a subconscious level.

If our children weren’t damn near raised by the television set do you think that the urban phenomenon called sagging could have spread as fast as it could? You see all of these things that I mention actually tie in together if you absorb what I am saying on an overall level. If our children aren’t in front of the television for more hours than they actually sleep and get outside to exercise while coming in to eat healthy food, then that alone is a monumental improvement in their lifestyles. But it is not one factor that is the culprit alone it is a combination of things, but we have to be smart enough to see how they are all related for a very sinister common cause. Television is merely mass mind control. Unplug yourself from it and you will find yourself in less of a daze and more interactive with the environment around you and you will be empowered to take charge of your life once again!

8)CEASE THE TRIPS TO THE BEAUTY SALON (AND NAIL JOINTS!):

This is a no brainer. Maybe this one doesn’t pertain to all of you but we all know that it does pertain to a good MANY of you for sure. Black hair care has always been big business in the Black community, but isn’t it funny that with all of the money spent to go and get your hair done that most of the products that you purchase to put in your hair are not even made by anyone who looks like you? Capitalism is capitalism and I am not once again making this out to be merely a race thing but damn, why would you spend so much money that is just not going to circulate back into your community and benefit you in some small or large indirect or direct way? If you have a son or daughter who may want to get a part time job after school, could they work for that company that produces all of that meaningless goop that you buy to put in your hair? NO! Because they are not located anywhere NEAR your neighborhood so therefore that money is snatched OUT of your community and into someone else’s who loves the foolish way you invest! They love it!

Now let’s talk about the Koreans. No, not in a bad way but in a brilliant manner, they come and set up shop in the Black neighborhoods and they do not even DO hair! WOW! All they do is NAILS and they are making a fortune off of young dumb Black ass! Just off of nails! Amazing, and to tell the truth, they are living WELL off of your need to be Jezebeled up! Now I am not against a woman dolling herself up for HERSELF, but don’t allow someone to put it in your head that YOU NEED to paint up your toe nails or finger nails just to merely attract a mate.

It’s like that dude at the red light on Valentine’s Day trying to hawk off that batch of roses to you while your woman is sitting next to you in the car. He has found a way to profit off of your need to show her that you love her. How in the heck did HE get into this equation? But so many fall for it! Now I am definitely a hopeless romantic but I am not going to be pressured by a stranger who doesn’t even know me to part with my hard earned cash on a gritty street corner when I can make the effort to go into a quality establishment and do it right. I would be better off just putting that money in her bank account so she knows that she will be secured and possess the peace of mind that comes when you know that you finances are straight! This is NOT the kind of economy to be playing around with your cash!

9)PREPARE ALL OF YOUR FOOD AT HOME:

I would have loved to say that we all should grow our own food at home but that is not possible for everyone. so at least we all should attempt to take control of what we put into our bodies and actually learn how to prepare all our food properly. Notice that I didn’t say COOK our food properly.

While I will admit that some cooking is necessary in preparing healthy food, if we are eating a raw food diet then we won’t even have to do much cooking in the first place and our bodies would be grateful to us and thank us in the form of great health. preparing our food at home will also save you a ton of money as well as bringing you closer to your mate and/or your family as we in this hectic society do not spend that necessary downtime together anymore. Try it out and reap the benefits!

10) GET A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND STOP BEING SO SUPERFICIALLY CHURCHIFIED:

You usher at every service. You help clean the church after every function that they have. You are there early before everyone else to help the Pastor in any way needed. You not only tithe but you give to the building fund as well as the various charities that the church has set up. You are there in every imaginable way but when was the last time that you had a REAL genuine conversation with your Creator and spoke to Him about your deepest concerns in your life as well as just shooting the breeze with Him on so many other levels. What? shooting the breeze? Lance! Have you lost your mind? This is GOD that we are talking about!

Yes I know! He can also be your best friend if you let Him. And just because the Bible was written in a period of time where they may have spoken in a manner where they said “Thou Art” and “Thine Heart” it doesn’t mean that YOU have to talk in that manner. Why do we think that we have to pray to God in that way? It doesn’t make it any more effective to get our prayers through any faster. Why are we so “churchified” and not real about this thing called serving God. It is evident that most who claim Him are frauds because if they were truly about it then they would be on fire to the point where the world would definitely be a different place because I know for a fact that ONE person on fire for a purpose can do so much righteous damage in their midst. So stop concerning yourself about how your wardrobe is perceived by those other church members, get out there and serve God 24/7 and attain that relationship with Him that will last an eternity!

WOW! That was a long one!

I hope that I haven’t insulted anyone with my humor as I often infuse a little sugar in the medicine. If I have, please accept my apologies…….

If one could just take heed and utilize only one or two of these suggestions where needed, your life would be changed enormously and your reality would be more of a joy to experience. No matter where you find yourself in life know that you can always improve your situation if you open up your mind to the prospect of living a life that is better! God bless you!

About The Author

Culture Critic, Podcast Host, Blogger, Cartoonist & Social Media Activist who focuses on the issues that the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch! Call/Text Direct: 407.590.0755

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