As I get older in this life I find myself craving to become as pure and innocent as when I came into this world when I was born.
A clean slate rid of all of the lusts and wayward desires of the flesh that I picked up during my walk in a world infested with all types of spirits that can have you so far away from what you were.
I mean, there have been times in this life when I would look into the mirror and not even realize who I was, I didn’t even recognize myself because of all of the dirt that had covered the pure heart that I knew was buried deep below the accumulated crud that made me appear to be something that I am not.
That was a frightening realization indeed. It’s one thing when you see it in someone else but an entirely different level when you see it in yourself.
It is moments like those when you crave to go into a deep state of cleansing, I know it happened to me. I wanted to be the “me” that I always knew but realized that when this world gets its hands on you and drags you through the mud, you can become the monster that you’ve disliked in everyone else that you’ve come to dislike.
I’m typing these words and listening to an old Elton John song that has always captivated my mind from the day I heard it first in the early seventies – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – it was a happy sad song for me because it was at that time in my life that I realized that things will never remain the same. It wasn’t anything that happened in particular, it was just a “knowing” feeling. I was always intuitive as a child and very much as an adult. It’s just that when I first entered into adulthood I abandoned my intuition or “God sense” in an attempt to blend in with the carnal way of doing things that others who were in my midst did.
It was a bad move that made me suffer. It was like being in a ship with no rudder – a speeding car with no brakes or steering wheel – crossing the street with no eyesight – drinking the first bottle of liquid because you are thirsty but being too illiterate to understand the word “POISON” on the side of the bottle. Need I say more?
When you embrace the worldly carnal minded way of doing things, you don’t realize that you are really left alone without that guiding voice that has and will keep you out of danger and harm.
At first, the world will toss you a few freebies to make your Godless life feel good and to encourage you to delve deeper into your new found pleasures that really leech you of all purity and innocence.
Your mind begins to operate on levels that it could have never comprehended before. You find yourself doing all kinds of twisted things and the satisfaction from doing them are slowly diminished with you being the last one to know that it has.
You need a larger dose of the decadence to receive the same effect of the character stripping nether-joys but do not understand that your morality is being compromised and slowly washed away until you have that moment in the mirror where you do not know who is looking back at you.
Where did you go? Who IS that person staring back at you?
When it happened to me I said to myself that I NEVER want to feel like that again! It’s somewhat like a state of pre-death. You look for yourself and the innocence that you once had and it is almost dead.
You see, when you begin to indulge yourself in the world where your have relinquished the protection of that innate God-sense, you are basically selling your soul to the devil in an installment program. A little bit at a time. Like paying a big mortgage over a thirty year period, except we have traded in our salvation for the so called pleasures of the world.
Unlike those big celebrities who can afford to trade off their souls for those extended stays on the top of the charts for a lifetime, we don’t command the ability to snatch souls by our very influence over the masses as relative unknowns. We who are merely on the spiritual blue collar level can only gain a slow trickle of decadence from the seducing spirits who enter into our lives to snatch our promise of eternal life like a crooked mortgage broker who can sell us a dream home with nightmare terms that help to bring us into that place that no one wants to find themselves called foreclosure hell.
The worldly pleasures have their own amortization schedules and tables. You see, just like in a standard fixed rate loan, it is mostly “interest” paid at first while gradually over time the loan principal is paid more and more until the property is paid for. In sin, we give up so much of our soul as we indulge in our twisted wayward “interests” while giving up what truly under girds us in the form of our morals, character and “principles!”
We give up so much and in the process of our pursuit of pleasures, status and wealth, we have lost ourselves. Of what advantage is it to earn the fleeting sensations of this world and lost yourself in the process AND your salvation?
Many of us do not realize this until it is TOO LATE! They are stuck in a commitment with the devil where they can’t keep up with the terms of the agreement! They fall behind and end up losing out on life and the promise of eternal life has a lien put on it that you must honor before moving forward with anything else in life!
Strive to be as pure as the day you were born and REFUSE to sign on the dotted line when the devil comes to make his deal with you!
…….to do otherwise will force you to realize how deadly the amortization of sin really is!
Beg God for forgiveness and strive for purity through the cleansing of your mind and the control of your lusts!