The Brass Lamp Story – Just Because Someone Threw You Away Doesn’t Necessarily Mean That You Belong In The Trash!
One gorgeous young lady who was going through a bad situation sat down near me on the bus to ask me a few questions about men and breakups from a mature man’s point of view. I told her that I would add to my verbal exchange with her later on by putting some deeper thoughts in writing for her to read so here it is…….
For some reason today while riding my bus I seemed to come across so much heartache in my path, I mean, I just happened to overhear so many sad stories and tales of breaking up that I wondered why I was allowed to observe this much pain in such a short period of time.
What made it seem even more drastic was the fact that I’ve been really feeling good about my life, myself and my spectacular home life. Hearing about so much pain in others made me feel a little guilty about being on the personal high that my God has afforded me as I crossed the over the threshold of the half a century mark.
But I began to think back when I was in that same place that those who I observed all day were in. It wasn’t always a bed of roses for me in my life and for a while I thought I would never get to taste the happiness that I’m enjoying right now. My pain wasn’t in the form poverty nor was it in some type of minor superficial setback that many stress over for no reason, no, my pain came from the emotional end of things.
Now don’t get me wrong, when I say it was the emotional end of things I believe that I had a wonderful relationship with my parents and the terrific childhood/upbringing that they’ve afforded me. I have friends that I am still tight with over the decades and the great memories overshadow the few forgettable times but my Achilles heel has always been getting hurt and disappointed in relationships.
I know, I know. Many who know me will say “but you were a wild guy back in the day and brought a lot of pain on yourself”…….I have to say that those who say that are absolutely correct but pain is pain and no one feels good hurting inside whether they deserved it or not!
I’m here to tell you that no matter what the circumstances that brought you to that point of Emotional Foreclosure, you ARE worthy!
You might have gone through a bad breakup and feel really low but the fact of the matter is that just because someone threw you away doesn’t necessarily mean that you belong in the trash!
Too many people these days go through relationships just as fast as they click through Facebook profile pages and because of this they leave a carnage of broken hearts along the way from their self centered and careless ways.
If you’ve been there long ago you KNOW that things will get better but as we age the stakes get higher in our relationships and we can find ourselves in an even more intense struggle to keep our sanity when things go south!
To get to the core of it – it HURTS like hell to get dumped by someone that you cared for and really thought that you had a chance at making it with in life. But life isn’t always made to order and to protect yourself against that inevitable depression that is sure to come more or less for you when entering that dark and lonely place there are a few things that you will have to know.
You have to know that even if someone left you all alone that it doesn’t mean that you don’t have any value at all. It may feel that way but you have to understand that because THEY didn’t see your vast worth that it’s THEIR loss because you were made by God and therefore made by the best!
Know that the ONLY reason that you feel so low after a breakup/abandonment is that possibly even YOU do not realize how precious you are and need to appreciate yourself a whole lot more from this point on in life.
Never again should you ever just GIVE your trust so easily to someone who never really earned it in the first place. We all can be deceived and we all HAVE been tricked in this life at one point or another so there is no need to ever be ashamed of what has happened and how you feel because trust me, this situation is going to make you a whole lot stronger and a WHOLE lot wiser.
The prospect of finally finding true love can be such an intoxicant to our greater judgment and we can sometimes feel invincible merely because of that feeling and jump over certain places that we should have lingered in to ensure that the love was real.
But we are only human and human beings can make foolish mistakes while being high on passion and there is no one that you know that hasn’t gotten caught up intensely before!
So don’t think that you are the only one because this situation is what love songs are made of. Have you ever noticed that most songs are sung to express the many different phases of being in a relationship mainly the breakup?
This is proof POSITIVE that you are not the only one who has gone through this painful test of the heart.
One man’s garbage is another person’s gold.
While I am not calling you garbage, it’s safe to say that when someone dumps on you and leaves you alone abruptly you can really feel like yesterday’s trash, but that is not the reality of the situation. Don’t take your feelings as reality and if you do it will truly be a downward spiral for real!
Imagine a person who has an old brass lamp that they possessed for a very long time and never took care of it. They never polished it up and never replaced the shade on it and began to treat it with no love whatsoever. The brass lamp appeared now to be dull and unattractive because of the lack of love that it was receiving and became an eyesore in the eyes of its owner.
Eventually the lamp owner found what they thought was a new better deal of a pretty new brass lamp to take the place of the once new and once shiny lamp that they promised to love and maintain forever.
Now that old neglected brass lamp found itself in the trash awaiting the garbage truck to come along to take it to that doomed ride to the city landfill dump. The swift change of atmosphere from inside the warm home to the cold exterior cause the lamp to “sweat” and the condensation of moisture running down its body allowed for its true shine to be revealed to the world yet there was no one there to embrace its attractiveness peeking through.
But mere hours before that garbage hearse arrived, a curious individual driving by saw something that caught it’s eye laying in that pile of trash…….they recognized the beauty of that trashed and neglected lamp!
Their break lights immediately illuminated the dark street and followed up with an even more intense display of light when they put their car into the reverse gear!
Could it be they were coming to save the brass lamp and give it a home?
That passerby spotted the beautiful lamp inside of the pile of trash and grabbed it immediately to place it in the trunk of their car to take home.
Once home he polished it up to a brilliance that even surpassed anything that the lamp had exuded ever before. The love and care that the new owner of that seemingly doomed lamp provided made the lamp to understand that where they “lived” before was the wrong place and now understood that there was nothing wrong with it at all!
What was wrong was the fact the former possessor of the lamp didn’t really know what they had and projected that lack of appreciation onto the lamp to the point where the lamp believed it had no more shine!
But while it may have appeared that the lamp had no value to anyone whatsoever, after a time someone was bound to see what was hidden so heavily below the crud and residue of neglect, bad treatment and abandonment.
Know that while you may feel like that lamp sitting so alone and abandoned in that trash can of a breakup in this life, YOU have to know your value and brilliance is ever present no matter WHAT the circumstances surrounding you in your life!
So take inventory of who you are, know yourself and NEVER forget how precious you are in this world. Never allow ANYONE to down rate you and encrust you with their venom which will rob your shine and take you to place never meant for you to occupy!
So get up out of that dirty place where depression has brought you to because of an idiot who has subcompact car mentality that never ever new how to handle that expensive high class luxury ride that YOU are. Step like the miracle that God made you to be and defy all odds once again to shine your light of victory across the land to encourage and uplift ALL those who have fallen temporarily like that beautiful brass lamp.
In your pain a mighty testimony is being formed and you must know that there is a divine purpose for you even in that dark place. God’s light can come from anywhere so why do you think that it won’t come from you?
So take your time to heal and prepare for that day when that fool of a former mate that trashed you so badly truly regrets getting rid of you as your brilliance will blind them into realizing the foolishness of their bad choices.
I hope these words have helped someone and know that I’ve been through it and EVERYTHING is going to be alright!
Peace & Righteous Love Always,
Your Reborn Brother,