The “Effeminization” Of Our Young Black Men: Chance, Choice, Genetics Or Plan?


Is that really a word? I don’t know but I know it SOUNDS intelligent so I used it. Plus, you knew what I meant by it so I guess it’s not a crime! I guess it’s not a crime to make up words because Sarah Palin does it all the time and so many people want her to the President of the United States so go figure…….

Yesterday I was on a layover while working my bus route and I noticed a young lady walking in my direction as I was deep in thought about a future creation, I’ve learned from very young never to initiate direct eye contact too fast but always keep a peripheral eye on every moving thing around you. Sometimes early eye contact can bring on an unwanted exchange with a strange uninvited spirit/entity that you may not have been prepared to handle or might pull you out of your public meditation and drain your focus. The latter is usually the case with me, as the majority of the time I am in the altered state of deep concentration on something intense while functioning at the lowest effective conscious level to carry out my expected job duties.

She walked confidently and straight at me in a way that let me know that she wasn’t in doubt about her directions. You see, people
approach you differently when you are the bus driver when they have doubts about where they are going because most people are a bit shy to ask. So they speak softer than normal and are a bit more timid in their demeanor. I can tell this was someone who definitely knew me. I had to look up.

Hers was a familiar face. A tall mocha colored young lady who could pass for twenty eight years old because of her fully developed and very womanly body more so than the face that betrays her each and every time to scream out that she is much younger. Actually, she is twenty two, but her manner of garb was very eye catching not because she was scantily clad, but because of her magnetic presence and carriage illuminated the form fitting slacks, the expensive heels and designer blouse that she buttoned down just enough to give you a delicious view of her tattooed left breast if you were standing at just the right angle to her.

“How are you baby! Long time no see!”

“Wow!” I thought to myself, the greeting and eventual hug that I received from her projected to the dozens of onlooking commuters that our connection was so much more than I remember it to be. Maybe she was going to hit me with a loan request or something or maybe she needed some kind of favor.

You see, although our relationship prior to this moment was only that of a driver/passenger variety and we pretty much never took the time to tell each other our names and never formally introduced ourselves to each other, I have had literally HOURS of time to observe her on the bus and check out what she was all about by how she reacted to the other passengers when she would ride my bus.


Yes. Men (and a few women) can’t help themselves when they see her and most women get uncomfortable when they see her coming as they lock their arms a little tighter around their mates as though it will ensure his thoughts don’t tread over into the erotic upon first glance. It’s a knee jerk reaction because the girl is just so abnormally sexy. Plain and simple.

But in observing her past dealings over the years with other romantically inclined bus riders it let me know that while she has
always carried herself in a borderline and technically respectable manner, her subtly amorous demeanor which borders on flirtation
drove the masses wild as she possessed such a pretty face coupled with an alluring gaze that made everyone who locked into it feel a wave of “urgency.”

She knew this and played it well as she would collect phone number after phone number so covertly that most never knew. She was heavy into eye contact as I’ve seen her on many occasion pick up those accidentally “dropped” pieces of paper on the floor of the bus from a married man who secretly wrote down his cell number on it while sitting next to his unknowing girlfriend/wife. So she wasn’t as innocent as she looked and I remember the last time I saw her she appeared to be a bit high standing on an Apopka Florida street corner in nothing more (and I mean nothing more!) than a bright red miniskirt and stilettos.

That explained the traffic jam on that street during that quiet Sunday morning. It’s funny how no one honks their horns when they are trying to get a good look at something.

Well after we released our embrace I couldn’t help but notice how healthy she looked in her face. Now understand that she never ever looked bad but she did at one time lose her glow for a time. Street life has a way of robbing ones innocence real fast…….

I can now tell that she is not living as she once was and has settled down quite a bit thank God.

After the shock wore off of seeing my old passenger, I finally asked her what her name was. “Is Nina” she responded, “what’s yours” she shot back. “Lance” I told her as she began to look at me strangely. I wasn’t expecting for what she asked me next…….

“How old are you?”

I told her that I will be 48 in less than 3 months this coming April 8th and she was shocked. “I thought you were about 30 and I always fantasized about marrying you but I would still marry you because you look good for your age!” (I know that my dear cousin Laurel is cracking up at that marriage statement from Nina because of an inside joke that we share! Please call me when you read this cuz!)

Now the first thing I thought was that she was running some game on me to hustle some money out of me. No no no! That ain’t going to happen baby! Not with me! I’m more than twice her age and didn’t come this far to get played by a hound girl like that. But she must have seen the expression on my face that indicated that she had better shift gears with me and she went on to clean it up saying that it is “so hard out here to find a good man that dealing with someone who was older has definitely become a very attractive option” in recent times.

I took the opportunity to gain precious insight by inquiring why she felt it was so hard to find a good guy to be with.

“Because all of these dudes are out here sucking each others dick!” I wasn’t expecting such a raw and explosive response from her and it was as though she WANTED everyone else standing at the bus stop to hear her but they had already jockeyed for a better position closer to be nosy and listen to what we were saying already unbeknownst to her.

I guess her brazen expression was caused by her frustration to find a suitable gentleman amidst the almost endless sea of eager “males” willing play trick or treat with her prominently displayed (I wasn’t purposely looking at her obviously bulging camel-toe, but I couldn’t help but see it through her slacks when she approached me moments earlier!) private parts as they fantasized about wearing a gynecologist uniform to play doctor with her for a long afternoon.

Nina went on to say that if the few decent guys that she tried to form a decent liaison with weren’t playing the field hard because of the lack of qualified good men out here, the rest were definitely broken dysfunctional bums with a pimp fantasy or brothers on the down low. I thought to myself at least back in my day, the young ladies did not possess such a bleak outlook toward the dating seen. We had our problems back in the day but they didn’t seem to be as overwhelming as it is today.

So after Nina and I exchange digits and promised each other to stay in contact, I really began to think deeply on her response, it bothered me. Not because I am someone who is in the dating scene but because I have daughters of my own and if it is as bad as she said it was then I am going to have to pay even further attention as a father to protect my little girls hearts in the near future as they mature and approach adulthood.

For the entire working day after speaking with Nina, I secretly watched every young man who boarded my bus and really tried to “see” them the way in which a woman would who is open for a mate. Now granted, I am not able to look at a man on certain levels because I just don’t go that way. But using common sense, it was quite evident that Nina was pretty much right after I had a night to ponder her spirited feelings toward the available man pool.

Now I wouldn’t quite say ALL men are down low and orally inclined to service each others twisted needs, but whatever you see obviously as far as THAT type of man is concerned, it is actually THAT much more in reality.

While the main focus of my writing is not the hardcore lifestyle that the dyed in the wool no turning back type of male engages in, but the massive amount of borderline cases that I witness every single day of my life in public. I often receive plenty of email messages on a regular basis from gay men who feel that I am bashing them or demonizing them for their lifestyle choices. I can’t agree that at all as I do not feel that I am bashing anyone but I will not be hesitant or afraid to tell it like it is from my point of view. I am not
threatening in my tone nor am I ignorant in my articulation of my feelings as it is my right to express how I feel. Call me a bully if
you will, it won’t scare me from speaking the truth.

Shall we move on?

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems to me that there are so much more young guys that are acting so very effeminate. Certain things have always been around and many say that it was always as prominent as it is today except that it was more undercover and well hidden because it just was not as accepted as it is now but I beg to differ.

I feel that the mass media brain washing to make evil fair-seeming and twist our minds into doing things that were unheard of in the recent past is partially the culprit. How else would it convince an entire generation of young men whom are for the most part lost and in need of a strong male role model, to walk around with their asses out because their pants are purposely sagging?

While the aspect of culture control would not only be another blog but it would be an entire series altogether, for the sake of time and
space let me just say that the videos, movies, music and fashion have been cleverly manipulated to influence this generation from their birth by the constant exposure to this new standard of normalcy and social expectations to act on a totally different level through a new set of dos and don’ts.

The pressure to conform to this artificially produced culture is immense and very hard to not cave in from.

The powers that be know this and continue to bombard our childrens minds relentlessly at a never ending rapid fire pace to ensure that the groundwork and foundation is laid to mentally enslave the next generation of young folks subsequently and even far more intensely as they are doing now!

So imagine, if the sagging phenomenon is a shock to us, then how far will culture creators push the envelope for the upcoming generation when they grew up seeing sagging pants as a normal part of the urban landscape? I don’t even want to know!

You see, we are slowly being broken down as a people and we can’t even see it being played out right in front of our very eyes. Black men have been targeted for hundreds of years and that plan is being continued today but in a different manner altogether but the funny thing is that again, not too many people see it to be able to speak about it and those who do are labeled as being mentally unstable and crazy. Well, I guess that I am crazy then!

I do not think the increased amounts of young men claiming to prefer other males as their partners in intimacy is just by chance as it is by design. It is a well known strategy of war that if you want to defeat a nation then you must go after their males. This to me is a long term plan as it has been identified that there is something very strong and resistant in our DNA that just can’t be broken down
overnight. This has been in effect for a very long time and planned out from even further back. It has been successful thus far and if we can only be kept dumbed down long enough it will hit the point of no return and those who will want to stop the mass momentum will hear their pleas fall on deaf ears.

Vibe with me on this right now and really open your mind. When a building has been targeted to be demolished by the authorities, there is a carefully laid out plan for very powerful explosives to be placed at exact locations of that building and set to go off exploding at a predetermined designated time so that the building can implode neatly and not damage any of the surrounding structures around it.

Still with me?

Well it is obvious that a various set of plans have been laid to hasten the destruction of the young Black male merely from observing
what they are morphing into. And yes, one can make the argument that many other races are affected by these factors in the same manner and I will agree. But the worst recipients of this wicked plan of emasculation is hands down the Black man bar none!

Other who unintentionally get caught up in the plan are merely the casualties of war, almost like an innocent bystander who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time during street shootout between two rival factions of a gang. They just got caught in something that was meant for someone else.

Question: How can a young man of 14, 15 or 16 say WHAT he prefers? Does this mean he had experience in it? Most likely he has but what surrounding factors in this young mans life makes it appear to him that he would prefer living his life as a wanna-be woman? One great point is from a radio program that I was listening to many years ago and actually stumbled upon.  Not to get off point but I must say that you should always explore the late night radio programs across the dial because they can turn up with with some exceptional programing that can be often overlooked due to the other mediums usually preferred. But in this radio program there was a guest who happened to be Caucasian, and he was exploring the same particular question as to why there appeared to be so many effeminate young Black men in this particular (I forgot which school it was but I believe it was in the south, maybe North or South Carolina? I am sure it was one of those states but don’t quote me on it!) College in the south as well as across the nation. He observed the school day over a period of weeks and witnessed how very docile and non threatening these college men were. Well after a time he decided to start asking broad and general questions to the students and he asked them directly why did it seem that so many of them were acting effeminate, and of the many of those who did, were they gay?

The answer was kind of what I thought it would be but was shocked none the less. At first the young men were careful how they answered in the presence of others but when questioned in private the answer went a bit further. For time and space purposes, as a generalized mixed answer they basically said in a nutshell that it was easier to get along with the White establishment if they were perceived to either be soft, effeminate or outright gay! Many of these men basically forfeited their manhood in order for a better shot to achieve the career successes that may have been otherwise beyond their reach and elusive because of an aggressive and threatening demeanor that the powers that be would look down on.

Aggressive and threatening? Imagine!

Who deems our enthusiastic demeanor as aggressive while when others aggressively go after their particular conquests it’s called being an achiever? Why do we have to water down our drive when others are left free to do whatever they have to do to win at this unfair game called life? I’m sorry, I just can’t bow down like that and if that is a career prerequisite to BEING successful then that is a success that I want absolutely NO part of! My God made me to be a man not only in the physical sense to function in the specific manner in which I was created but to be a man on a mental and spiritual level also.

This is what I also suspect has been manipulated in our young men also, their strong sense of spirituality has been compromised by a church that doesn’t call for them to live up to what a real man is because quite honestly in MANY (Not all now, don’t get it twisted!) churches across the land, the needs of Black males are not dealt with but quelled. Is it because the Black church is mainly filled with women, kids and effeminate men for the most part? And yes, there ARE strong men in our churches but you know what?


If you put one half of a teaspoon of sugar in a gallon of water would you be able to taste the sweetness? NO! So with the amount of young Black men in need of a mentor and father figure in their lives the few available good men in the church are having their effectiveness diluted to the point where you cannot “taste” the impact OF their work. Should they stop because of this? NO! But it must be understood that so much more is needed in this day and age. Isn’t THAT evident?

When squirrels in the wild are playing with each other and running around wildly in the woods, they are in fact learning how to use their bodies for when the time comes for a real danger to cross their paths where they have to really know how to maneuver themselves to safely in record time. There is a lot to be gained from that play time with their siblings. It’s about squirrels learning how to be squirrels. And this goes for any and every animal!

So how can a young Black man become a successful young Black man without being in the company of a fine example of a mature Black man/role model to fashion himself after? Now do not tell me the a successful man is one who has accrued the trinkets of the world, I don’t want to hear that! Because many a so called “successful by world standards” Black man may have the material goods but are just as mixed up as a freshly opened box of dominoes spread out on the table ready to be played by a bunch of Heineken intoxicated Jamaicans! (I can get away with saying that because my bloodline is Jamaican! “St. Ann’s, Brownstown” baby!)

The point is not to shoot only for material success but to shoot for a balanced existence, THAT’S true success, because I know so many men who basically have it all but are NOT happy deep down inside as they struggle with MAJOR DEMONS from within that the outside world never really has a chance to see. You might get the picture after one of them puts a gun to their head and pulls the trigger, then after watching the results on the nightly news you will understand that there was more going on than meets the eye. Again, that’s not the type of success that we need to be teaching our young men!

But could you imagine making a conscious decision to not ascend into your manly destiny because it might thwart your chances for worldly success? Then WHO is threatened by YOU for you to do away with what God put inside of you to be? Is it because if YOU will eventually “be all that you can be” then someone else might not be able to oppress and exploit you anymore? Is that it? Hmmmmm! That thought requires looking into a bit deeper wouldn’t you say? For you not to be oppressed and exploited anymore would cost SOMEONE a whole lot of money because WE are the men who are filling the prisons in America. Isn’t the prison system making lots of money for SOMEONE? It’s not us, then who is it? If we are not oppressed and exploited anymore as the people who have become a “consumer only” nation within a nation then WHO stands to lose lots of money when we stand up and stop this gender bending identity crisis foolishness and go out and take the bull by the horns to make something happen on a positive level for our people, our women and children and future generations! Aren’t you sick and TIRED of living the way you do year after year after year?

Hell, some of you have been living with roaches and rats for so long that the government felt sorry for you and will now let you claim them as dependents when you file taxes this year!

Here we are as Black people suffering under a racist system and many of our men have abandoned that fight and have chosen to fight for gay rights like they are not Black anymore! What gives? Nobody had to give them the right to screw each other in the ass because behind closed doors, you can do anything you please! So why are you diluting the fight that will benefit you and your Gay Black self when you can’t change the color of your skin? Illogical!

Why are our young men so eager to show their ass cheeks in public and feel that they are doing something? Why are most of those young men who do this fatherless? Why are many of these (Not all!) same young men messing around with each other in record numbers? Why are their no real masculine Black male role models like we had back in the day with Muhammad Ali, Richard Roundtree, Jim Kelly, Jim Brown etc. Strong male figures to whom I remember, as well as most of the young men in my neighborhood growing up, tried to emulate in some form or fashion.

Here is the wicked formula: Take away the real Black role models who live a good clean God fearing life but at the same time don’t take any junk and tell it like it is. make the mother the head of the household because either daddy is locked up or just left the responsibility of raising a family onto the mother. Give the youngsters video games, music, videos and movies that reinforce that it is okay to NOT be a man because it is just too hard to achieve in this culture as a Black man. Reinforce the idea that it’s cool for both men and women to be bisexual, you see great evidence of this when you view the various social networking site and either see “interested in men and women” or you don’t see a preference at all because this is a silent discreet way to signal that the owner of that particular page is down to meet either sex. Over time when blending these ingredients which is an attack on the minds of our young you will get the results that you see every time that you ride the public transportation in your city or just plan old see it in your daily path everyday!

Here is a parting thought: Is the sagging of the pants and the adopted effeminate ways a ploy to subconsciously attract the male energy that the wayward youngster never had? It’s kind of twisted but it may have some legitimacy when you think about it. Since we all know that most men love a round juicy backside, are these young men displaying their backside in the hopes of attracting a man in their lives not necessarily because they are gay (And that is not written in stone either!) but because they missed that male to guide them and nurture them and this is a twisted way of getting it? Maybe they don’t realize that this might be it, because like I said before, most who do this do not have that strong male figure in their lives and if they do, it might not be anything to write home about.

So what do you think about all of this? What do you think about the points that I made? I went out on a limb to start this discussion and I am depending on you to continue it so please leave all of your comments on the comment section below so everyone else can follow the conversation and have the option of joining in as it develops. Say anything that you wish as I will not censor a word, all I ask is to be respectful of one another and let’s learn from each other’s dialogue!


Lance Scurvin


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February 25, 2013 8:36 PM

Great article and some very interesting points. Some studies on the issue of homosexuality have stated, based on case studies, that males, who lacked a father figure or whose father was present but not present with the son, strongly crave the missing affection and approval of their fathers and thus seek it from another man in a sexual way. Then there is the molestation of a male child by an adult male that helps to create these homosexual tendencies in a male. Nonetheless, it is a serious issue.

April 18, 2012 6:17 AM

As a white guy I can tell you that we're all being hit with this; it's just more noticable in black men because the only media examples in the past were really strong…Jim Kelly, etc, but also thugs, pimps, Shaft, etc. Now, because whitey has been afraid, and because the assimilated black culture is growing, a transformational process is happening.

Look what they're doing in the Muslim countries; they're taking over the leaders and putting in non-religious ones…western-style ones, so they can turn the culture away from itself. The Romans did the same thing.

Black people are so afraid of stereotyping today that they'll aact as "white" as possible to avoid it. White men are increasingly effeminate, and masculine white men are less and less. Heck, when they want a macho white man for a movie what do they do? They get Russell Crowe or Christian Bale, Daniel Craig or some other Australian or Brit…dig?

It's an epidemic…hippy liberals, feminists, etc are so afraid of actual men that for thirty years they're been actively working on the socialisation process…

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