Sometimes there are some very enjoyable days that I experience living here in the United States, it’s those special times that make me desire to have that level of bliss all of the time but sometimes I figure that it’s just too much to ask…….but even then I can still dream.
But even then, I have a pretty good life, I’m living very comfortable in a relatively peaceful life. A sizable home with a big yard occupied with just my wife and I so it feels like a mansion. You can also throw in the two well maintained cars that are paid for.
I hardly take any days off because to come home everyday after work is a vacation in itself. Good health, exceptional home cooked meals, great hobbies and friends. We live below our means to accumulate and can spend to get what I want anytime, so I guess I’m living what many would call the American Dream.
But every now and then I get a reminder that there is a constant chance of trouble in paradise at every turn of my happy existence.
I don’t know what I did to receive this latest unprovoked verbal assault, but I’m going to tell you what just happened to me right here in Orlando Florida earlier this afternoon.
I was standing between two parked cars on Route 50 – otherwise known as Colonial Drive near Orange Blossom Trail – taking pictures and video for an upcoming commercial spot for my dear friend’s Beauty Salon to be aired soon on national television.
Not that it should matter but I’m going to say it anyway, there was no reason to come at me in any disrespectful lowdown way because I always carry myself in a manner to represent my parents, upbringing and community that would do them all proud.
So why is it that an approaching Pizza delivery van transporting two people, one to whom in he passenger side that I identified as being Caucasian, yelled out to me as they drove by that “You better get your dumb nigger ass out of the road or you’ll get killed like that other nigger monkey Trayvon!”
Well, when the vehicle came to a stop about four car lengths away because of the jammed traffic at the red light, I screamed out that if he would like to step out of the van and do so with his bare hands and not take the punk road like his obvious hero George Zimmerman and shoot an unarmed man, then we should show the world once again what Florida is all about this time with far different results.
How dare anyone say such comments to anyone who is minding their business and obeying the law?
Where do some White people get the feeling that it’s their job to say these derogatory low down slurs to Black people and that everyone that thy do this to will merely sit down and take it?
I guarantee you that after living in this hellhole of a society for half a century at the time of this writing and having to endure this shit everyday of my life on one level or another, that if you come and try to snuff my life, that I’m going to take more of you than the one in me that you get!
Yes. I SAID IT!
This is why so many Black men do not want assimilate into the so called mainstream Amerikkkan society because we already know what lurks beneath the surface and accepted by most as an unspoken area that we are not even supposed to speak about.
The funny is that when you do mention your personal experiences on this level, you are deemed as paranoid and a troublemaker who just can’t “get over it!”
Well as long as this sick people keep “saying it”, I’m going to keep on speaking on it! So YOU get over it!
Now most who know me personally know that I’m not a violent person but I will “stand MY ground” when it comes to me or any of mine to defend against any danger that comes my way.
Courts? It won’t even make it that far because you know that I’LL be wrong for defending myself and lynched in the court of public opinion by an unseen jury cyber punks who are NOT my peers.
At least with me you will not have to ever worry about knowing how I feel or that I’ll be afraid of speaking my mind.
…….it’s my right to do so, and no, that right wasn’t given to me by the Constitution, it is God given!
But this leads me to ask the question to all who are reading this blog, doesn’t it seem that after the super hyped media money making extravaganza of a case that gave George Zimmerman his acquittal, that more Whites seem to be walking around angry and disgruntled than the Black people who were shocked at the result of the case initially?
Maybe I’m wrong but this is what I see in my daily path. This case stirred up so many emotions and it’s not a pretty picture at all.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, George Zimmerman, because of the unique circumstances surrounding his case, became the representative of the feelings and frustrations that many in White America felt long before the Trayvon Martin murder ever transpired.
President Obama being Black.
The gun control issues and fear that a Black man in office is going to have government forces raid their homes to take their firearms.
The fear that the stereotypical Black thug of animal criminal is going to rape, rob and destroy their picture perfect community and country that would be so much better without us?
Seems like we are not of use to you anymore now that we gave so many hundreds of years of free labor on stolen land to build your “empire” for you.
So like a dirty useless tool that has fulfilled its purpose, we are tosses to the side and made to feel as though we are a burden in your world until your next war and terrorist attack comes along and you consider us Americans once again to entice us into the front line of danger while you watch safely from afar.
Yet when we try to blend in peace, we are reminded how despised we really are and are expected to take these abuses or get shot and killed if we even think about defending our right to a peaceful life.
Why is it that on a free day off after cutting the lawn at my home, doing a little shopping, visiting an ailing friend at the hospital and doing a favor for someone close to me that I have to now walk around in a warlike battle mode of thinking because of the insecurities of these Gung ho subhumans who only see the world in Black and White?
It’s a shame that a law abiding citizen like myself who is pretty much a plus to ANY community regardless if anyone agrees with my personal opinions or not, would treat me in such a fashion without receiving any aggression from me whatsoever. It hurts and i admit that, and it’s also a struggle when you have to ride the unwelcome emotional roller coaster that one must endure when you walk about the earth in despised skin.
But you’ll never know what it’s like to feel the low burning – and the sometimes out of control deadly flames – of racism and the effect that it has on ones mind and perception of the world.
So many of us are made to appear crazy because of the accumulative effects of the “little” aggressions that can be compared to the Chinese punishment technique of Water Torture. Those single drops of water that don’t seem so deadly after a time will feel as though they are sledgehammers falling down on one’s head!
That is how the subtleties of racism affect the Black mind.
So the best that I do is to deal with this mess in my own way because it won’t go away anytime soon.
I guess that’s the flip side of the American Dream, a dream that I sometimes wish I could wake up from real soon to enjoy real unity amongst the races, equality, unconditional love and fair justice before I die.
Peace & Righteous Love Always,
Your Brother Who Is A Realist,