“In This House Denials Lurk, Dysfunctions Fester,
Yet Everyone Knows Their Place!
Do You Live There?”
What do you think I meant by that? Many of you might have a small hint but here it is; I’ve titled this sketch “The House Of Secrets” because I have found that most families have some secret/secrets that have affected every family member’s growth and development.
These hidden truths that most refuse to face within the family unit can even cripple one for life well after the issue appears to have dissipated into a non-issue. The child or adult now has to carry an invisible burden feeling that no one will understand or relate to the pain contained within. This makes the world potentially a very frightening place. If it is not dealt with in an effective professional manner, this will taint their personal/business relationships for life and cause strife on an innocent unaware individual who just wants to relate normally with this person who possesses these toxicities.
Imagine a stray dog that had a broken leg and no caregiver to help their leg to heal back properly. This dog learns to limp its way around town in pain until the bone in the leg heals up the best way it could under the circumstances. Usually, the bone heals back out of place and crooked, but our dog learns to walk on its newly healed leg and in time it becomes quite normal to walk this way and in this state.
Most of us have some issue that has us emotionally/mentally/spiritually broken and if not dealt with we learn to manage our issue the best way we can. Usually, we learn to walk with ourselves like the dog in a state of being out of place or crooked. In time our ignored “swept under the rug” toxic issues become quite normal as we accept our sick state of existence as being normalcy.
The origins could have been a molestation by a beloved uncle who appears by most of the family to be so far away from doing such a thing, that you are looked at as being the troublemaker who is upsetting the applecart of peace by bringing his late night crimes that were committed in your bedroom under his care many years ago out into the open.
This is just but one example but there are many. Have you ever experienced the family member (Usually a mother who has the highest expectations for a wayward child who has absolutely no ambition except to keep selling that mother the dream of a lie to enable them to live for free (Freeloading, sponging or bumming) without working or contributing!) If you ask this particular mother how the child is doing, they will always tell you that there sibling is “doing fine” and aspiring to some great goal that does not really match up to what the reality is. But if truth be told you may have seen that same person exiting the crack house or heard about their street hustles and behavior.
But what happens when you are forced to relate to someone (On a job, in a relationship or other family members etc.) who just won’t accept you in your broken state? Do you banish them (Refuse to communicate or conjure up an imaginary reason to cause a divide) for giving you a peek into a part of your soul that you have refused to acknowledge for your entire life?
Or do you attempt to make THEM feel (Turn the tables by putting the problem on them) as though THEY have an issue because THEY appear abnormal in your normal eyes? Isn’t it interesting how many of us can view the same object, situation or issue so completely different?
Living life in this manner is comparable to running a sprint with a 50 pound weight on our backs….do we really feel as though we are operating up to our fullest potential? Those of us who are in this state really do know deep down inside that we are messed up. This is why we consistently avoid the life situations that would reveal to us and the world what truly lurks within the darkest and most hidden corners of our troubled souls.
This is why we only seek out others who are just as twisted as we are, we only feel comfortable with those we feel are just as downtrodden in the areas we know to be our weakest. How do the winos (drunks) find each other to be able to congregate on the corners everyday at the same time.
They have a way of just knowing……
So when you discover an individual has this unfinished personal business in their lives, surely you will find others who are in the same state of mind in their inner circle. Just observe, and after a time it will all make sense and fall into place. The gentleman in the sketch above felt as though he had such a wonderful relationship….one built on trust and honesty, until he happily came home one afternoon to find out otherwise.
Skeletons in the closet….these skeletons don’t represent actual skeletons (Let us hope not, but after watching the news lately with all of these strange crimes out there, actual skeletons might just BE an appropriate representation in some cases!), they represent the hidden issues in our lives, the things that we just can’t bring ourselves to reveal to our closest loved ones. Now, you may not want to tell everyone every sordid detail of your sex life, but there are some things that need to be shared.
In this sketch this woman was caught with her demons expose because her husband arrived home early from work. What a predicament to find yourself in!
In actuality those skulls may be the crack pipe, those skulls might be an adulterous affair, or they might be a gambling problem or inability to handle money properly. Those skulls may not always be so obvious on the surface, it may be a smiling face that covers deception in the heart….envy, an unforgiving spirit, hate, laziness or a gossiping mouth.
It could any one thing or a combination of many!
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