In all of my experiences responding and conversing with countless people online and in life over the years, never has there been such an explosive topic as Fatherless Homes, Child Support and the Innocent Children that are hurting between them.
It’s a fiery topic that evokes such emotional responses and it is one where it doesn’t seem like most can ever see eye to eye.
Under the heading of the Fatherless home, it is just too broad of a scope to figure that a “one size fits all” answer and solution can heal every diverse scenario.
You have the deadbeat dads on one side of the scope as well as those who take care of there children 365 days a year without fail even if they are not with their child’s mother. So it is hard to say that all men are deadbeat as some women might want to believe because they’ve gotten burnt by one.
While many programs have focused on the deadbeat fathers who fall in the range of being non supportive and non existent in their child’s life, there is a need to focus on those mothers who are venom laced from the hurt that they’ve experienced and pain that they transfer over to their child unnecessarily from the years of bashing the father that they never knew.
While many times this angry mother has many legitimate reasons to be pissed off, her inability to let the anger go after a time to move on to a more productive positive life does more hurt to her child than the deadbeat dad ever did!
These angry hurt mothers don’t understand that as they continually bash their child’s father that they are reenforcing the same outlook on life into their child without giving them a fair chance to grow up and assess life for what it is through their eyes without any undue interference into their natural process of development.
So while the mother may be on a conversation with one of her girlfriends who might be of the same hateful mindset (Birds of a feather do flock together!), little does she realize that her child is in the other room and can hear every hateful word in that conversation that you are spewing toward the father. And no matter what that father has done to the mother that is STILL the father and the venom should NOT be preserved, packaged and passed down to the children!
Many times in SOME cases these women in pain are only pissed off because the gamble that they took with their sex organs didn’t pay off like they thought it would. Again, this is not EVERY woman, but a good number of them out there and I am speaking specifically on THEM! If you do NOT fall into this category then please do not think I am throwing off on you.
But yes, there are many women who sought out a man because of the money he might have been making at the time, he may have lost his job or gotten sick and was unable to keep up the lifestyle that he kept her in. Now with children thing got a little harder so she eventually dumps him because if the truth be told she wasn’t with him for love but for the paycheck or hustle money coming in that kept the weave on her hear looking fabulous!
Some of these wayward women are pissed that they are out of the game of playing men for their money. Many have kids and still do even more so than when they where not mothers but the freedom to get out there and hustle their pussy freely is stifled from the fact that they now have to get a babysitter for their child which has totally shut down her ability to enjoy a degree of spontaneity.
Again, because of HER bad decision in laying down with someone that SHE wasn’t truly into it resulted in a life riddled with resentment and regret.
But what about these females who want to complain about how deadbeat their child’s father is but met him on the corner after seeing him there all day with his “boys” doing absolutely nothing except trying to catch any woman that passed him by with you being the one that was caught?
They say that you can’t turn a hooker into a housewife well the same can be said for not being able to turn a bum of a man into a responsible hard working caring supportive family man who possesses a wisdom beyond his years!
Instead of beating up on his character when in the beginning you chose to NOT see what he was really about about, maybe what should be done is to ask YOURSELF why did you choose to create a life with someone who was obviously a bum in the first place!
Granted, some men can really put up a “front” that hides their true character but if you took the time to completely investigate who he was and what he is all about, you might not have found yourself in this sorry state of affairs!
So under the surface of crying out about how deadbeat a dad your child’s father really is, in many cases there is a deeper tale to be told but it’s one that oftentimes is swept under the rug of accountability because that mother does not want to face her role in this mess of a life in the first place.
As much as we as a society want to “do our thing”, when most of us look back we have to say to ourselves that if we listened to what the word of God spoke on about waiting to have sex until we were married and striving to be in a dedicated committed relationship with ONE person forevermore, then we wouldn’t have found ourselves paying the price for our out of control loins that we thought that we could handle.
…….don’t be mad now! Embrace your mistakes and move on but the last thing that we should want to pass on to our children is the mindset of bitterness!
Time: Monday June 21, 2013 @ 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
Place: The LanceScurv Show <—–Click here at showtime to hear the entire program live on your computer or smartphone!
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