The LanceScurv Show – Dealing With The Emptiness & Pain Of Losing A Loved One

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This is truly a hectic, fast paced world that we live in and to take the time to smell the roses just doesn’t seem to be in vogue anymore. We work so hard and sacrifice so much that the only time that we DO take the time to reminisce on the good times that we’ve had with our loved ones is long after they’re gone.

That statement is not a condemnation of anyone as though it is their fault that they are going through the great pain of losing someone precious in their lives but in reality an admission on my part of what I’ve gone through personally in my losses in my earthly walk.

I want us to really get down and talk about this thing called loss and that seemingly never ending pain that can grip your heart in a manner that you just can’t believe that anyone else has gone through it but you.

While it is easy for someone to send to you a mere card stating that they are “sorry for your loss” and that “prayer changes things”, it just seems as though no one understands when they go into that automatic mode of stating what is politically correct to someone who is truly hurting because they do not have their special one with them at this time.

The contact from so many people when we are hurting just doesn’t seem to register as we wish that either we could die too so we can get away from it or just fall off of the earth for a little while just to try to find some logic in the whole upheaval of one’s life.

I can truthfully say that I’ve been there done that. And you know what? That pain never really goes away but it is replaced by an understanding so divine that you KNOW that things will one day work out for the best.

Listen now. Real talk. And I believe that I can speak this way because I’ve gone through it but if you do KNOW that if there is a God above who is loving and all knowing then you know that He will never give you someone so precious to you and then snatch them away forever, I just don’t believe that in the deepest recesses of my heart.

I believe that for the rest of the time that we have in this life, our understanding of life and loss cannot for the most part embrace this process in its entirety but as our wisdom and connectedness to the God inside of us grows, we will then come into the understanding that there is more even if we don’t know exactly how it will go but we know that it will work out just fine.

Now granted, you are not going to be banished of all pain just because I said so and as I stated earlier, that is such an immense pain that it never really seems to go away. That pain will subside over the years but it will resurface when reminiscing of the good times shared because we are still human and will miss that special someone. Sometimes all it would take to trigger off an emotional response is a little thing that others may not understand. It could be a special song that reminds you of them and takes you back or it could be an inanimate object or a fragrance that brings their presence back to you immediately and in a very powerful way.

Tearful Eyes

You see, the pain doesn’t come as you recall how wonderful it was for them to be in your life for the time that they were, the hurt comes when the memory subsides and you then realize that they are not there anymore. Now understand that I am not trying to bring anyone back into a place of sadness by stating all of these scenarios but I am merely sharing what I go through in order to connect with someone out here who needs to know that they are not the only one who is going through it too.

I lost my Mother in April of 1994 and my Father in November of 1990.

It’s the end of 2012 going into 2013 and I still wake up crying from missing them several times a week because my life has been so hectic, drama filled and fast paced that I never had the opportunity to truly mourn them.

I can hear their voices just as clear in my head and see them in my mind just as if they were physically standing right in front of me right now. I realize that I too will go the way that they have gone and know that it is a natural divine process that we all must go through. So while I am here with those who I love I try my best to create as many great memories that they can hold onto in my passing so that they can feel my presence even though I have crossed over to the other side. Luckily for me, we have the internet and YouTube videos that can make this process a whole lot easier for them when they crave to see us as we were while we walked this earth and this is actually one of my reasons for being out here online so much because it will make the transition for them so much easier because I’ve logged in hours upon hours of conversations and discussions for them to later enjoy.

But let me be the first to state that a painful loss does not mean only a physical death, we can suffer the loss of a loved one to whom we’ve been divorced from but refuse to admit it. We can suffer the loss of a friendship maybe from some misunderstanding that really was not worth even losing that long held friendship for. There is the shock of relocating and the loss of what was our normal regular rhythms which have now been replaced by the unknown. Being in that uncomfortable place where your world has been turned upside down is a universal occurrence and instead of pushing away these deep feelings of pain unacknowledged because of the seemingly cold uncaring world that we live in is a very unhealthy and non productive thing to do.

What we need of course is a divine word that resonates deep inside of our soul but also we need badly the connection with each other that can sometimes seem even harder to attain. Our losses don’t have to hurt so bad if we had each other to support one another in a sincere manner. But this world has been stripped of much of its supportive structures and mindsets but I want to tell you that THIS is what this show is all about – the support, caring, camaraderie, love, understanding and merely those persons who want to hear what is going on inside of your aching heart as we all just might shed a quiet tear or outright cry it out together either known or anonymously because at the end of the day we ALL need somebody with a shoulder to cry on because THAT’S the way our God made us!

After the holidays are over and the presents have been unwrapped, it still doesn’t replace the warm embrace or the sound of their voice. The late night thoughts can hurt so bad and I believe if we as a society and culture weren’t so hellbent on materialism and monetary gain, we could show each other the love and SPEND THE TIME that would reduce and eliminate the high level of suicides and mass killings that we are experiencing today because of the healing qualities of God’s love that would shine throughout our lives daily. Let it all start here on the LanceScurv Show on this special night!

P.S: If you happen to know of anyone who is going through a personal loss then please forward this link to them because this will be a highly comforting show that NO therapist or counselor can compete with because this is not about money but about REAL PEOPLE WHO CARE!

Time: Friday January 4, 2013 @ 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time

Place: The LanceScurv Show <—–Click here at showtime to hear the entire program live on your computer or smartphone!

Call In Number: 760-259-2310 – Call in to listen or join in with your opinions on the discussion. You DO NOT need a computer to participate in the show, all you need is your phone.

If you have any issues getting to the show, feel free to call me on my personal cell (407-590-0755) and I will get you squared away with any problems that you might have!

Also, the entire program (Click the YouTube screen below) will be uploaded to my YouTube channel (YouTube.com/LanceScurv) the very next day for your listening convenience just in case you’ve missed it.

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About The Author

Culture Critic, Podcast Host, Blogger, Cartoonist & Social Media Activist who focuses on the issues that the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch! Call/Text Direct: 407.590.0755

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