He might have found his way deep into your heart swept you off your feet at one time but you found out some things that won’t keep him there for long.
I may not have been that he put his hands on you but you know deep down in your soul that you can’t live with your realization for very long.
Maybe there is a child that he conceived a while back while the both of you were together officially. Maybe there was a very revealing text message from another woman that you saw come in on his phone while he was asleep that you happen to see.
The things that he mumbles in his sleep consistently always seems to point to his possible philandering and the gaps of unexplained time that he spends on a consistent basis screams at you and raises those dreaded red flags that you swore that you would never see while being with him.It may be that he never really told you the full reason why he got fired off of his job and how his “up and down” mood swings and inconsistent demeanor as of recent point to a possible substance abuse problem.Yes, you still feel as though you love this man but even after you discover that what you thought was true and every gory painful detail of his indiscretions have come to light, how long do you allow him to hang around and at what point should you leave a certified no good man?
Sure, the answer is quite easy on the surface, but is it really? The feign strength that many women display when chatting it up at the beauty salon or around the kitchen table as they bare their souls may look and sound convincing, but for many of them it is merely a facade to save face and gain a temporary relief from the painful situation that has become a hopeless reality as they hold on to a man that – like these self serving auto insurance companies – should have been written off faster than a wreck of a car that was totaled in a head on collision.
We must discuss this because while many women say that they would never tolerate keeping a no good man and it would be so hard to find any woman would would admit otherwise, the fact of the matter is that many do or the overwhelming amounts of protection orders and injunctions wouldn’t be filed as much as they are and the shelters and halfway houses wouldn’t be as backed up as they are with the women who are in transition out of a life dependent on a man who they finally had the courage to walk away from.
But for the most part, a woman who is holding on to a no good man may not stem from them needing someone to take care of them as there are so many independent and highly desirable ladies out here abundant sprinkled across the modern day landscape of society who still tolerate merely existing in such a soul draining union even though THEY might be the one carrying THAT no good man along because of his lack of a sufficient income to stand on his own two feet independently, his child support obligations or just merely the fact that HE might be a certified bum who lays up on her and damn near refuses to work because he knows that he has the keys to her heart and can get away with things that defy the very logic that his woman voices aggressively when in outside situations but never lives up to once that door is closed behind her.
So what is it about these no good men that ensure that they will always have a “fool” of a woman who is weak for them to be used over and over again until the tragic inevitable end arrives usually later more so than sooner?
Is it that she has no one else in this life who is close to her and feels as though she will be completely alone if she gets rid of him?
Is it that her esteem is so low that you could point out all of the reasons why she has so much more to offer a good man but once your speech is over and your presence as a friend has vanish her positive mood deflates faster than a blow up balloon that lost its air from its contact with a needle?
Or maybe she doesn’t want to go through the “inconvenience” of starting all over again, she might be like that old dude who had the same beat up car for the last thirty years and has invested so much money into his old jalopy that to him it would be a waste of the years of effort and financial investment to get rid of it and purchase a new trouble free car whose monthly note wouldn’t even come close to the amount of money spent on repairs.
Some of us just can’t see the logic shared with us from a friend because our mind is so locked into the normalcy of a sick dysfunctional situation that is killing us slowly.
Too many women are like that frog in the pot of water whose fires below are low but are gradually being turned up higher and higher without any noticeable detection of the heat and danger that you are in until you are dead!
These relationships with no good men will rob a woman of her best years and if she is NOT wise enough to see and strong enough to execute a plan of banishing this dead weight loser out of her life who has brought nothing but drama into it after the initial down payment of “game” and the first hit of his off the chain lovemaking, she will lose herself and the prospects of the wonderful life that she felt she would finally have when this “bait and switch” master of the heart entered into her life with an agenda that resulted in nothing more than continuous pain and and a never ending sorrow.
Let’s break those chains of deception tonight and let us share our experiences on both sides of the coin to not only help ourselves, but to help someone out here who may be listening and caught up with a no good man that they just can’t seem to let go!
…….it’s going to be another hot one!
Time: Friday, September 7, 2012 @ 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
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