Men who raise step-kids up as their own?
For all of the ripping apart that many men receive for NOT being a REAL MAN for THEIR kids, there is an often overlooked segment of the population of men who go over and above all expectations and manifest the real live breathing image of a REAL MAN who not only exemplifies all of the wonderful qualities of what the ideal man is to a woman in their relationship but even goes as far as RAISING her kids as though they are his OWN!
There are those good old fashioned men who will take your kids as though they are his own without any indication of him thinking otherwise. Many of these Super Brothers will even CONTINUE to go above and beyond the low expectations of society to do a wonderful job in a situation where another man couldn’t measure up or just plain old didn’t even care.
One would think that this is a win-win situation for all who are involved as a scenario that would have been lacking is now complete and fully functional to move about in a positive manner to enrich the community and world in a very welcomed manner.
But while no one outwardly rejects such a wonderful situation or finds not anything negative about a real man stepping it up to fulfill the divine duties that all men are supposed to carry out when they have children under their roof who need that male energy and guiding example, there is a often hidden dilemma that many men in this predicament find themselves and with usually no one to speak to about it.
What could that be you might ask?
It’s the dilemma of being with a woman who is too gun shy to stand behind you as the man of the house and will oftentimes defend the petty foolishness of her children even in the light of you trying to do the right thing under the universal divine laws as a man in that household as it pertains to holding down the rules and regulations as they have been set there.
At first, it seemed as though you and your woman/wife/mate (The title in this case is irrelevant, the positioning as a mother is all the same here!) saw eye to eye after the thorough discussions that were held between the both of you before the move was made to be together as a family under one roof. You spoke in depth on every possible scenario that could arise no matter how uncomfortable it was to face it. You both revealed how you loved each other and knew deep down that it wouldn’t be easy even after all of the planning and preparations had come near to the end.
But the conviction and commitment shared was just too strong to not make a go at it. You discussed with her how she was going to have to back you up when it came to the execution of discipline in the household as you both knew that at some point they would gravitate toward their mother because they will probably feel as though they could manipulate her easier when it comes down to it because they know her WELL!
You both were ready and spoke about the first time that one of her children would scream out that very common and infamous line: “You Ain’t My Daddy!” But you both felt that there were no roads that you could not cross together because the love that you had was ust too strong!
This is where the problems begin, she might not always have the mettle to stand up to that special way that she is stroked by her children due to the fact that they know her soft spots. It could be a special facial expression, it could be the tone of their voice but whatever it is they “know” how to win her over when it is time for them to step up to either do their chores, accept their punishment or merely to execute a bit more discipline in a special area of their life where it seems to be lagging.
So now there is a major conflict, the man of the house cannot be fully accepted as the man of the house if his authority is being undercut by the manipulations of the step children who now have taken a measure of his control for their selfish reasons while the mother has backed away from the conflict in a cowardly manner.
This leaves this good brother feeling alone as the rift has cause more problems with his intimate feelings with her because he now feels betrayed and doesn’t know where her sincerity ends and the lies begin.
He begins to think of the potentially greener pastures of being on his own and even has pondered what it might be like with a woman who doesn’t have any children at all. Maybe he acts on these thoughts and maybe he doesn’t. There are literally millions of men who are going through this same exact scenario and out of all of them they will react in many different ways.
One very common situation is when both break up yet the step father still wants to remain in the lives of that child/children. Many times the controlling or spiteful mother may not want him to maintain that close bond that was cultivated over a long period of time as she never has considered how close he is with her children.
What is a Brother in this position supposed to do as most of the time he doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on?
How does he deal with his feelings as they just cannot be banished like that in a twinkling of an eye?
How does one move on and why should he have to move on as emotions and bonding work both ways and that child loves unconditionally and will be hurting for the only man he/she knew in their life as the petty power plays of the mother has no merit or no credibility when they want to see their “Daddy!”
Tonight’s show will stretch across a broad spectrum of issues that are never really touched on in the mainstream media and we will pull down the curtain of denial that usually covers these well hidden situations that are not as uncommon as you would think!
While we want ALL people to call in, we especially want to hear from the men who are either going through these scenarios right now or have moved on or overcome it and have an experience to share.
Time: Friday January 18, 2013 @ 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
Place: The LanceScurv Show <—–Click here at showtime to hear the entire program live on your computer or smartphone!
Call In Number: 760-259-2310 – Call in to listen or join in with your opinions on the discussion. You DO NOT need a computer to participate in the show, all you need is your phone.
If you have any issues getting to the show, feel free to call me on my personal cell (407-590-0755) and I will get you squared away with any problems that you might have!