Friends with benefits.
Whatever you call it, the phenomenon of professing to being in a committed relationship yet secretly living a secret double life by having another person to whom you have broken your commitment or vows to seems to be the norm and not the exception these days.
The sad part is, is that it is almost expected and somewhat accepted!
Well, let me correct this, it’s generally accepted as long as the person getting hoodwinked isn’t the one who accepts it in another persons situation. It’s no problem when it is the next woman getting cheated on, it’s almost a joke or a great beauty salon story to share in order to pass the time quickly up under the hot dryer. But when that victim of the infidelity is YOU, then it is a whole different ballgame and it would be appropriate to shout out the infamous words of the big fight announcer Michael Buffer, you know my favorite on our talk show…….LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEE!
That being said, what is it about this thing called extramarital relationships that is so “sweet” to always be an issue across the board in many of our relationships. Now granted, it may NOT be you per se’ because there ARE plenty of wonderful people in committed monogamous relationships who wouldn’t dare even THINK about doing anything with anyone else except maybe cutting the lawn!
I wanted to focus on the side of the issue that deals with the cheating man and the spouse that seems to be pushing her man into another woman’s arms. This approach will be for this blog article as well as the Blog Talk Radio weekly Friday night show that will go under the same title as this blog.
Sure, I understand that there are cheating wives who do the same thing, but many times I feel that with the wife who steps out it is more of an emotional based need than a sexual one. Sure, they will say that they need the sex and that maybe her husband is not taking her there as she wishes that he could, but it would have never gotten to this point if there wasn’t as underlying issue in the relationship in the first place. That’s the difference between most men and the majority of women who are in extramarital affairs.
Now also allow me to speak for the gentleman who have fallen into affairs who were hurt emotionally. It happens when the man who is neglected gets the attentions that he needed from someone else but in fact wasn’t looking for sex per se’ in his quest to fill the voids that could have been easily filled with his wife/woman/girlfriend.
Those voids left this man open for something that he really didn’t know he was really craving. His woman at home has gotten used to him and takes him for granted somewhat. Having a man at home all of the time can sometimes make a woman complacent when it comes time to share the affections with him but do know that this works both ways in that the man has to rain down on the woman huge doses of love, attention and caring also.
But we do have some women who no matter what you do good as a man, they will inflict upon your soul a loneliness that cannot be explained that pales in comparison to a prison inmate dealing with the stresses of solitary confinement. They seem to take a twisted pleasure in denying you the most basic of affections and even when you have accepted that the physical festivities will not ever transpire between the both of you, you are further broken down and emasculated as man on an emotional level as though you are dealing with a vampire who wants nothing more than to drain you of every ounce of blood that you will ever produce and will not leave you until you are no good for anyone else.
Yes, this is a special type of woman but they do exist and I say to you that there are a small faction of men who are on fire spiritually because of these types and will not refuse the loving embrace of another woman just like a man on fire from head to toe would never refuse being doused with the full blast of the fire hose even if it were his worst enemy! The pain that is caused from these abusive women is just too much to bear because they seductively lured you in by projecting an image of perfection in your eyes and being everything that you could have ever wanted in a soul mate. They slowly took you over mind body and soul and once they knew that they had you then the illusion is banished and you dare not ask for more of what you got in the beginning.
These types will look at you as though you are a fool and act as though what they have so meticulously projected before to lure you in was a figment of YOUR imagination and act as though they never treated you so nice before in their life. Talk about a split personality. Talk about bait and switch. While I won’t point the focus on these words on blaming every innocent loving loyal woman and making an excuse for the weak lying cheating men who go into a relationship with absolutely NO intention of remaining faithful, do know that there are situations out here where I will not judge the man for running to the first warm loving embrace that comes his way!
I won’t judge him at all because only he knows the cold loneliness that he has had to go through for years at a time before hitting the breaking point. Sometimes these men are locked into a situation with a woman where they may have property, investments or even children together and may not want to leave and upset the applecart of stability for his young ones. Sometimes the other woman may be content being alone and may not want to have a man all day everyday for herself, she may just be happy to know that her and this married/attached man have a very intense emotional/physical affair/relationship and that is all she needs to know.
While you may or may not agree I am merely trying to break down what I see happening out here in the world in record numbers. To understand what is going on in our world around us is to be prepared to prevent it from happening from you. This is how I think, I am a proactive type of individual and want to know the nitty-gritty so that I don’t run across a shocking situation down the road.
That being said, I must point out that there is a divine force put deep within the woman that can sense when a man is in pain and desires to sooth him if he is worthy of it. Look around and see the truth in this statement. Whenever you observe a man as a woman who sees in that man that he endured a great deal of sacrifice and self denial to reach a goal, you automatically don’t have a problem doing what you can to help him reach the next level whether you are with him or not. It’s natural and it taps into a higher law of how you as a woman were created.
Join us so that we can break down the many different facets of this common arrangement on The LanceScurv Talk Show!
Showtime: Friday, January 13th, 2012 @ 10 p.m. E.S.T.
Place: The LanceScurv Talk Show <——Click here to be taken directly to the show page at showtime!
Call In Number: 760-259-2310 Do know that you do not need to be online in order to hear the program, just call in to listen or participate in the conversation!
Click the widget below and enjoy the entire episode and do know that this show was definitely a classic! Be prepared to really have some fun!