The Ministerial Madness And Attention Whore Aspirations Of The Narcissistically Needy Black Church!

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Today I feel like spanking Black people.

No really. I’m not joking because I have gotten my filters clogged with their foolishness and need to clear it so I can breath again.

Why am I picking on Black people? Well, more specifically, I am singling out Black people in the Black Church. Now granted, God is everywhere and the term Black church sounds so separatist but for the sake of clarification I am saying it in that fashion and please do not send me any stupid e-mails because you all know what I mean!

I feel that as a Black man I am definitely qualified to speak on the Black church since I was raised in that very atmosphere, I know it well and I know the “okie-doke” when I see it, and trust me, there is a whole lot of it going on there in 2012 and I believe it won’t end here.

Now the issues in the Black church are vast as it is expected to be because the issues in the Black community are so very huge.

That being said, what I want to touch on and ask is why is it that the Black church has so many people in it vying for an attention whose energy should really be spent doing something for the overall ministry no matter how visible or invisible it might be?

Bishop Eddie Long

Yes, we want too much damn attention when we go to church and for most of us it “ain’t” about serving the Lord but about walking an imaginary fashion runway as one pays their tithes or screaming louder than the next attention starved church whore and turning the service out with some premeditated display of falling out in the spirit to appear to be holy when in fact most of these ego hungry individuals probably cannot stand the person next to them or even half of the congregation that they “worship” in!

With so many churches sprinkled about on the landscapes of the Black communities here and abroad, why is it that in those SAME very communities after the services are over you can find more crack dealers, shootouts, prostitution and all forms of advanced decadence transpiring right there usually on the steps OF those churches who hours earlier preached a message of unity, salvation and reaching out into ones community to make a difference.

Reaching out?

What a joke.

Maybe these churches should reschedule their services to match those of the underworld activities so that they can make a change and a difference, because obviously, there are two different worlds here in the African American community and they are both fully aware of each others existence and no when to “stay back” while the other has it’s time. Talk about a well scripted dysfunction!

But back to the original point, we as Black people for the most part who attend these holy ghost churches are groomed from birth into the practices that are accepted without question and take our ingrained buffoonery as gospel not realizing how foolish we look to others and how gullible we are to being used in another entities agenda that ultimately will seal our doom time and time again.

We get up early in the morning or long before the service to begin our ritual of grooming for that service as though it is a high school prom or some kind of photo session.We put so much emphasis on what garb we are going to wear on our backsides and absolutely no emphasis on how we can be of aid to the least of us even if it is not in the church or in dealings with any of our churches members. We have a clannish mentality and if one does not belong or attend OUR church then they DO NOT COUNT!

It’s almost like a football team viewing the other teams as the enemy, they might greet each other before and after the game, but while the game is in session it’s no holds barred! Look, we are ALL God’s children and need to stop this schizophrenic mess that we partake in while we call ourselves Christians!

But from young we are basically taught through the examples set before us that worship is about having the best dress, the best suit, rolling up in the best car after we’ve taken hours to polish up the rims and wax it until it possesses a blinding shine. We do all of this in the hopes of achieving that one bit of attention more so than anyone else is getting. And don’t have the “luck” of being acknowledged by the Pastor during the service, because now our chests will be pushed out as we strut across the sanctuary in the spirit of self importance because the “Pastor told me that I was doing such a wonderful job with the ministry!”

But really look at it hard, really look at what is transpiring here……now first allow me to acknowledge the many studious individuals who have dedicated their lives to the study of scripture so that they can serve as one who is there to clarify the true meanings of God’s word for those of us who would have otherwise been led astray by some charismatic slick talking figure who can bedazzle your mind with a slightly “tweaked” word that appears to be right but has been tampered with.

It is undetected to the untrained eye for the purpose of exploiting the ignorance that you possess that you are too damn blind to see because your head is glowing after receiving that very public compliment on your beautiful dress in front of your congregation which was only given to ensure that you will dig even deeper in your purse to increase your tithes, building fund contribution and seed offering.

FOOL! You have been manipulated!

So we aspire to be just like the so called man or woman of God from young and most of us do not see the many hours of study, submission and prayer as well as the hard work and sacrifice that it requires to be prepared to carry out the task of going into the dark trenches of these unseen worlds in order to make a change and truly save a soul.

No, we don’t see that and even when we do, we don’t WANT that! No! What do we want? We want to be worshiped and adored by the masses. We want our image placed on the huge billboards across the land so that everyone knows who WE are! We want that world fame and adoration under the guise of being a spiritually based individual but are nothing more than an attention whore who is seeking to get their fix through the path of least resistance. We want to be known as some authority who is a god beside God and if some of us really had our way we would wish to BE God if we could!

Juanita Bynum

We don’t want to study for years on end to truly get a deeper grasp on God’s word but we want to OUT-SCREAM the next person in the hopes of coming off as though we are sanctified and have some higher connection to God than anyone else. Screaming does not take the place of submission to absorbing God’s true word without the motivation of using it as a whip to elevate ourselves with a self promotion agenda.

We in the Black church for the most part are out of control and this is why most of our houses of worship ARE out of control! It is a substitute nightclub and you have all of the ingredients of a sinful nightlife right there in the place that should exemplify all that is God in being a reflection of who HE is!

But look how far off the mark we really are…….but we will never do that because we are just so addicted to the game of playing church and being worse off spiritually more so than we were when we first stepped foot IN a church!

Like I’ve always said, you can spread chocolate icing on feces but it doesn’t give you the right to call it chocolate cake, and if you are so delusional as to thinking that it is then YOU go right ahead and take the first bite! You will quickly find out what is lurking below.

But to be honest, I love the Black church but I do not like what it has become. There was a time when the Black church meant so much to us who were here in America at the time of slavery. It was not only a place to worship but it was our lifeline. It was where we worshiped, networked, righteously socialized and supported each other with our extremely limited resources. It was a place that meant the world to us and the only time that we for the most part felt a sense of hope in a world at that time appeared to be hopeless.

It was the only time where we felt as though life was worth living against the very real backdrop of death that was pushed in our face daily and hung over our heads like soon to fall guillotine through the constant killings, raping and lynchings of us. we were so glad to be able to see each other for at least another week because in our world at the time we didn’t know if that time of worship that we spent together would be the last time that we would ever see each other.

And this is why so many of us are screwed up in the head today, you will find so many who just do not understand that a mindset even from a past that seems so far away can be transferred and preserved up to the present as they will say that it is the past and we should get over it.

Well those same individuals who say that about the Black experience here on these shores would NEVER say the same thing to a Jew who will always remind the world to never forget what happened to the Jews with Hitler and the concentration camps and ovens. All pain and suffering is unacceptable but why is it that when a Black man mentions HIS Holocaust he is quickly reminded that that was long ago. Is there some type of time limit on dysfunction? If it hasn’t been corrected and is supported and under-girded by a hijacked culture to preserve us in our dysfunction then wouldn’t you say that our Holocaust is still going on?

At least with the Jews they still have there names, their culture and their God! Heck! They don’t even believe as you do and when they are in your midst you are just as respectful (As one should for anyone and everyone!), but when one comes around you telling you a truth that is logic you shun those truths to spout out what your slave master taught you to say when it came to your own condition.

You see, we fight for everyone elses freedoms and victories except for ours, we are notorious for that and most others know this about us and this is why we are constantly used like a tool and tossed aside when it comes time to deal with our mess. Do you see the pattern?

Yet and still, the modern Black church has been co-opted and rendered impotent because we are taught to scream and shout but when the subject of serious revolution comes up most will flee because they are so afraid to upset the one who allows them to enjoy the little neighborhood notoriety and prosperity that they do.

If most pastors were true revolutionaries that congregations across the land would be damn near empty! We as Black people do not want true change in our neighborhoods because if we did we would pick up the mantle and start right from where we are! We would start by cleaning up our funky dirty ass homes and getting it straight from within.

You would start living right and stop leaving your door “cracked” at night so that married man can slip in and pump your little hypocritical saved and sanctified belly full of hot sticky adulterous sperm before tipping out to go back home before his wife wakes up and your kids catch on to what has been going on.

If you really want to see some change in your community you would have zero tolerance to the filth that our radio and television stations are pumping into the heads of our children and have zero tolerance for the foolishness that they indulge in with that mind numbing socially interactive medium that turns every computer and smartphone into a crack-pipe called Facebook!

Yes, with all of the issues that we have as a community the only passion that we have is the strong desire to escape facing those issues, and the modern day Black church is one of them. You don’t have to read the gossip columns anymore – just hang out in the church parking lot after the service and you can get the scoop on everyone!

You don’t have to go to the bar to pick up a hot horny woman for some of the wildest sperm guzzling booty licking sex that you’ve ever experienced, NO! Just show up to a church where no one knows you and act as though you are a Godly man who is handy around the house. why do I say that?

 

Well, once the word gets around about you then you will be rained on with infinite never ending offers from these deceptive holy rolling damsels in distress who “need” you to come by their homes late at night to hang ceiling fans and put up venetian blinds. I’ve been there done that back in the day and with the worldly carnal mind that I possessed at that time, I had a FIELD DAY and wondered why I even wasted my time in any other type of venue that I did to meet the opposite sex!

I know…….I know! Either you are cracking up in agreement or you are pissed off with me beyond measure! But I just had to get these thoughts off of my chest and if you don’t like what I’ve had to say, don’t bother writing me and telling me how off of the mark I have been about the Black church because by you reading THIS FAR into this article means that I have held your attention long enough and that there had to be SOMETHING of significance that gripped your mind enough to keep you here this long!

So look within yourself and see if your are guilty of any of the aforementioned charges and if you are then pray on it and ask that God cleanse you of those transgressions because getting mad at me won’t make you a better person and if what I shared makes you see the neglected realities that are around you then maybe one day you will thank me for taking the time to kick it to you raw.

While there is so much more that I could say in this rant I must move on to the next task because I do fancy my ability to manage and maximize time. Leave your comments or curse out below and do know that I love and care for you always even if you are pissed off at me right about now!

Either way, my job must be done…….

Peace & Righteous Love Always,

Your Outspoken Brother,

LanceScurv
407-590-0755

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About The Author

Culture Critic, Podcast Host, Blogger, Cartoonist & Social Media Activist who focuses on the issues that the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch! Call/Text Direct: 407.590.0755

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