The Secret Diary Of The New Years Blues: When Enthusiastic Resolution Meets A Dead End Reality, A Call To Stay Connected.

Have you caught yourself thinking this way?

The holiday is over. The pounds have been put on and seem as though they plan not on leaving. The credit card bills are rolling in. The hours at work have been curtailed back to the point of barely surviving with little left over for bus fare. That uncanny sense of doom and that everything will NOT be alright seems to be a constant companion to your day. Your only escape seems to be to sleep your free time away and even then, your dreams seem to mirror the circumstances of your reality.

Where can you turn to be rid of this torment? Why does it seem like you are the only one going through such pain, discontent and hopelessness?

The folks at church don’t seem to understand, they smile their painted on smiles and want to hear every last detail of your dilemma as though they are going to help but in the end before abruptly walking away they merely say that they will pray for you while days later all of your personal business is out in the street. Praise the Lord.

While this feeling of gloom seems as though it has been here forever, you know different as you gaze at those photos of you in happier times not knowing the pain that was yet to arrive. Oh how you wish that you could take a time machine back to those days to warn that younger happier carefree version of yourself to take that OTHER road as a life choice to follow when the fork in the road was placed in front of you throwing you haphazardly into the valley of decision.

If only the good old days could come back. If only you could wake up and discover that this was a bad dream. Every time you awaken you feel that disappointment from knowing that those problems are still awaiting you. And it seems as though they get bigger every single day.

The food doesn’t taste good anymore, how could it when you count down with every single bite how much it cost to even GET the food home from the supermarket as well as when the next time would be before you have enough money to stock those empty cubbards again.

Years ago the American dollar seemed to go a lot further than it does these days. Who may I ask is behind this cruel trick? It wasn’t too long ago when money didn’t seem to be such an issue as it is now. Is it that you had more? Or were you just too oblivious to the future responsibility to yourself to even concern yourself with such trivial matters. If so, today is the result of yesterdays carefree mentality.

You have learned very quickly that everyone never thinks that the party will end. Time is relative and no one wants to see how much faster time moves the older one gets. Why would anyone want to see this sobering fact when there is the next party to attend or the next new club to hang out in?

How does it feel now that you are too old to even think about going to a club? Now you see how foolish the kids look as they believe that what they are doing will last forever or even matter years from now as it will only be a distant memory that might be spoken of in passing when running into one of your aged partners in crime at the doctors office.

It’s only good for a laugh if that much. The only thing one could laugh at was how stupid you were. Where are those “forever friends” now? If you had only stayed to yourself and focused on securing your future you wouldn’t even be in this predicament right now.

Relationships? What’s that? He comes around occasionally when he and his wife get to fighting. He calls like he misses you but you know what he wants. All you ask for is for some Chinese food or maybe a five dollar pizza. It’s the least he can do for all of that good sex that you give him. So you leave the door unlocked for him as you are awakened to the sound of his climax not realizing that you fell asleep waiting for him. The cold pizza that you had for breakfast this morning and his constant moisture running down your thighs are the only proof that he ever came over. Yeah, and that voice mail that he left whispering how much he loved you.

Big deal.

How does one escape this mindset of gloom? How does one ignite the fires from within for the passions of life in order to forge forward in living ones destiny? Is going to church enough? Are having material goods the source of eternal joy? Is the answer in a bottle? Could the doctor just give us a pill to take all of the worry away? Why are so many people seemingly trapped in this state of mind regardless as to their financial status or social standing? What are the real answers to these pressing inquiries?

There is no way to escape this oppressive manner of thinking except for ONE way…….

Everything that has been created in the physical was at one time merely a thought. So understand that if your thoughts are of the negative variety then what do you think you projected reality will be? So know that while issues may appear to be impossible to surmount, it is only that way because your mind has already accepted this to be reality but it’s not! You just have to be made aware of this fact.

Motivation is free and here for everyone to utilize. But before it can be activated in your soul you must see yourself in a different reality than you do now. Motivation with no hope and focus is meaningless and a waste of precious energy because you will be influenced by others who lack direction to be motivated to do non productive stupid things that you may regret years later in your life like the example of the depressed persons thinking above.

You must put yourself in a different atmosphere away from what you call normalcy. If you are off one day or just plain free, get up
extremely early one morning and take a bus or a train with others who are going to work. If some of the commuters are obviously chatting amongst themselves, find a way to get into the conversation and introduce yourself. While this may come off as strange or not be the type of thing that you feel comfortable doing, understand that the point here is to graft you onto someone else’s energy in a healthy manner and eventually their reality for a short time in order to jump start your own.

You just can’t isolate yourself in loathing and self pity and expect to beget positivity. It doesn’t work that way and never did. I suggested that scenario in order to take yourself OUT of yourself! It doesn’t have to be the way that I suggested, you could find yourself in the mall and ask questions of the store attendant to learn about the new products of interest. Surely that is a way of getting no frills conversation of you are a bit shy to venture out of your shell.

Remember if you SEE yourself doing something then that’s half of the battle in making it happen and it’s just a matter of time before it comes to fruition. Think back to the time when you went to that new job and you were nervous the night before starting it. You didn’t know the people. You didn’t know the supervisors and you were a literal wreck! Now look at how easy it is to navigate that job now that you KNOW the ropes!

So never allow the negative forces to drop those seeds of doubt in your mind about anything! Remember, everybody is a little stupid in something! That rich famous doctor may not now how to cook like you or that lady in church who seems to have made all of the right financial moves may not be as knowledgeable in all things monetary as all of her possessions were accrued by the death of her late husband and the insurance money she collected as well as HIS good investments and job pension check.

Things may not always appear as they seem so stop beating yourself over your head over what somebody else has at this junction point in your life. You just might be better off than you think.

To make it in this world you must take YOUR unique talents and abilities and offer them directly to the world in order to profit financially and internally from your great sense of accomplishment. You will never get the fulfillment of someone who has developed an idea from the beginning until the final product unless you have been taught this from an independent source other than what the oppressor desires and no job on this earth will ever give to you that deep sense of worth.

Is the answer in attending the church, synagogue or mosque? You tell me. What good is it when there isn’t a personal relationship with your Creator from the get go? I mean, it looks good superficially to your fellow man in the light of day but what will the “surface posturing” do for you in the middle of the night when those thoughts are tormenting you from pillar to post? Follow through with it if it is only a real commitment and not a knee jerk reaction to some other problem that when the issue is gone so are you from ever attending the church again. Be real.

Drugs? Well do not even THINK about it unless you desire to compound the problem. Sure, it’s considered by many to be a quick and easy escape but most realize to late that it’s an escape from a reality to which one can NEVER return. Point blank you will NEVER be right again and the only thing you can hope for is to salvage the pieces of a broken life that was made that way from an indulgence into an arena that was far worse than the problem that you were running from in the first place!


Prozac included. Case closed.

Depression can and will affect those from as many various and different backgrounds as there are various and different backgrounds. No one is immune from it. And there is no way that you can tell who will fall victim to it next. Some of us flip out over something that someone else may consider a minor issue. And others will deal with major tragedy after major tragedy and keep on ticking always being able to find that ray of sunshine where others just cannot! It’s about a persons inner makeup and there isn’t any way to tell until they are tested by the sometimes hostile cold waters of this life.

We must take stock of our lives realistically and the best time to do so is when we find ourselves deadlocked in a battle with the spirit of depression. I you feel that you have hit rock bottom know that if you truly feel this way that now there is nowhere else to go but UP! There is no such place lower than rock bottom! Now you know where rock bottom is and have lived to tell about it! THAT’S your testimony in this lifetime. Many spend their entire lives thinking about this dreaded level that you have bounced back from but now the only difference between you and them is that you no longer fear it because you have tasted it so very well. Do you want to go back there once you leave? OF COURSE NOT! But the knowing is so much better than the NOT knowing. Why? Because you will not spend half of your life gripped and paralyzed with a fear that can halt you from truly living. You are free. I hope that you understand where I am coming from with these words and someone is feeling me.

Take prison for example. Prison and depression have many things in common. The isolation. The loneliness. The disconnectedness and the overwhelming sorrow. Just the other day a very good friend of mine to whom I’ve know since the age of eight years old for just a year shy of forty years told me that when he was in prison locked down for eight plus years the most hard hitting realization and experience was to hear grown men cry all night long! Not for a few moments but all night! This is when the reality hit them of where they were. Many never learned the lessons that they should have behind bars but for those that did, they truly make sure to savor every bit of this life and the freedom that they have now regained. In the darkest hours their souls have endured, they were righteously recalibrated to know how sweet life is and how every moment is precious.

Why can’t we understand this with all that we have to be thankful for?

When you are connected to your Heavenly Father and prefer to walk in the spirit, negativity will still attack your life and attempt to rob you of your peace of mind but it can only permeate your defenses so deep for only so long. Experience tells us this. Many of us choose to ignore it and walk this life alone only to find out that we cannot do it by ourselves. While I am not telling you to run down to your nearest prosperity preacher and hand over your life savings and the next months mortgage payment, do speak to your Maker quietly while you are home, in the car, at the mall or on the toilet. Anywhere will do. And while you may not actually hear His words in the manner that you hear others speak to you, a feeling will come over you that is a “knowing” and you will be guided as to what the right choices are in your life regardless as to what others may suggest.

When your mind, body and spirit is filled with the RIGHT things then you can NEVER think the way like the person in the beginning of this blog!

And that’s a guarantee that NO ONE except the Almighty can make!

Try it sometime…….

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