It’s funny, deep in my thoughts earlier I began to think about the nature of sin and how it can literally sneak up on an individual, we are ALL vulnerable to this phenomenon as it can start out so small and almost undetectable until it becomes a full blown situation that we have been blinded to as we indulge in it’s substitute sweetness.
Yes, I didn’t bite my tongue!
That is exactly what I said! SWEETNESS!
But it is a false sweetness. Sin at first possesses an allure that it is terribly strong and we all need to understand this because too many of us are falling to the various “traps” put out for us and we just feel as though we can out muscle these spiritual diversions on our own and we are totally mistaken! I mean, when you realize that satan was second in command behind God and was influential enough to lure one third of the angels OUT of Heaven and turn against God, that has GOT to be one slick dude! Now don’t take that as some type of admiration for the devil because I despise what he has done across the face of God’s creation with all of my heart. I am just trying to make you understand that this evil entity can pick his teeth with us at will if we do not protect ourselves in the bosom of our God. We are no match for satan and his tricks and I have personally experienced his attempts and temporary mini victories in my life in the past when I fell victim to his various coercions.
Now how many people do you know admit THIS much?
Now don’t get it twisted, my weakness has always come in the form of a woman. You and I may have VERY different weaknesses.
But sin is sin and it permeates us in the same manner no matter WHAT the perversion, desire or stronghold. Let me give you an analogy…….for those of you who enjoy going to the beach, do you remember the time when you thought to yourself that you just might “get your feet wet” or go out into the water but not to far? Well, remember how to slowly went out into the water with others around you but you continue to wade outward ever so slowly thinking that you weren’t out to far only to be shocked how far out and away from the shore and everybody else that was previously near you?
You almost panicked when you saw how far out you were…….
Sin can sneak up on you the same way.
Let me share one tale out of many on how it crept up on me…….
This was back in the mid eighties and while I was in my early twenties at the time, my experience level with women were a bit more advanced than most in my age group due to the fact that I had a short period of dealings in adult entertainment and because of the body that I possessed at the time from the years of competitive bodybuilding all throughout my teenage years, I attracted the curiosities of woman more than twice my age. It wasn’t just a “body” thing, although at the time I thought that’s all it was, but even back then I had the gift of gab when necessary but more importantly I had the finesse and maturity as well as being a cultured gentleman who could represent himself in any situation presented. So there was always someone who found those
qualities intriguing. I mean, I didn’t know that I was raised in such a unique manner that I would become the person that I was, and yes, I still had a streak of immaturity in me as do so many in that age group. But overall and looking back, I was an exceptional young man and I have to thank my parents for that. We had/have enough knuckleheads out in the world so I will never apologize for having it “going on” back then in that point in time.
But on with the story…….
I was in Brooklyn on Fulton Street this particular night at a hole in the wall “lounge” or rather nightclub named Club Mahogany (Yes, that was its REAL NAME and it was a REAL PLACE!) where many of the neighborhood locals would show up to drink the night away or maybe look for a little conversation that might lead to more. Now I never ever desired to go to these places unless I myself was making money from going to them. Money? Yes, money. How? I sometimes danced at bachelorette parties or worked with small agencies that needed muscular men to model swimwear for a local fashion show. But on this particular night there was an impromptu contest for the man with the best body! The winner was to get one hundred dollars! Don’t laugh but
one hundred dollars was a LOT of money back then in those days and I was determined to get it!
I found out about it in the gym that I was training in at the time, Zinn’s Bodybuiding Unlimited in Ridgewood Queens N.Y. Many of the local club owners knew to come to the gyms whenever they had an event of this type because if there were beautifully built men there to contest for the monetary prize, there most definitely would be many lonely horny women there who would therefore attract even MORE eager to spend men there reap the benefits that the mental foreplay of visual delights had on
those same very ladies. It was a win-win situation for all involved. I had no problem with women and my main objective was getting that money!
But satan had HIS plans on that night and I wasn’t even warned about them! LOL!
I loved to arrive early to these type of functions because I would get to see everyone as they entered the establishment and it also removed the intimidation factor for me. While I was always confident in myself and was always able to handle people quite well, I still was almost always the youngest person in these establishments as most of those who would attend were in their late thirties on up to their early fifties with a few older exceptions. So here I am strategically positioned in some dark corner where I can view the door in clear sight. One of my other requirements in positioning myself was that I always had to sit very close to an exit door “just in case.” You never know what fool would come in there and spray the place up in a jealous rage because he might have secretly followed his woman there who arrive at the club against his wishes.
Usually the competition in the clubs wouldn’t begin until right before the prime hour where everyone would be arriving. There would sometimes be a “ladies drink free before midnight” announcement over the airwaves to further pack in the women truly making it the place to be! If this were the case, the competition would begin around midnight in synchronization with the drunk horny wet alcohol laden damsels.
While the M.C. did his job on hyping the enthusiastic and very verbal crowd, myself and a handful of other musclemen were in the back in some makeshift dressing room (Usually a cold dank hallway with a cheap sheet blocking the view from the curious onlookers) stripping down to our thongs, oiling ourselves up or doing some stretching and pumping up exercises to get that full look once we stepped out onstage. Now most of us guys backstage knew each other from the real competitions that we locked horns in, but usually between competitions these guys let themselves get out of shape really bad as opposed to my own credo of always staying close to “fighting weight” and always looking good.
But as is the case most of the time, the best man doesn’t win and the spoils of the contest went to someone who went to high school with the owner of the club. Go figure. But what I didn’t know was that there was a consolation prize of twenty-five dollars to all others who helped to make the show what it was. A slap in the face to say the least but I surely didn’t refuse the slightly wet twenty dollar bill and the ripped up five.
As I ignored the many groping female hands to my backside and “other” parts, I quickly found my way back to that hallway with the cold dirty floor that had the bottom of my feet look like I took a long walk in a West Virginian coal mine. But that concern quickly became a thing of the past as I was startled by the voice of a woman who had evidently followed me down the hallway for a more up close and personal private “show.” When I was in that hallway at first, I took a few moments to dig around in my bag to find my backup pair of (Something bigger than a thong! LOL!) underwear and only realized she was behind me after I changed into them. So she got to see a LOT more than I intended to share. But oh well, I was never hung up on nudity and was quite relaxed in this state.
We locked eyes.
She was stunning.
I mean, she wasn’t the airbrushed magazine type of woman in that respect but she kept herself quite well in contrast to the women out on the dance floor whose breasts constantly collided with their knees when they didn’t have the support of their “stressed to the brink” brassiere to insure that the four don’t meet.
Because of the shadows, she at first appeared to be in her late twenties, but on closer speculation I put her age at around forty-five.
Age was never an issue with me with a woman, in actuality to be honest it was a plus. Not in all cases because having a few years
under one’s belt did not mean that one possessed maturity. But in most cases a lady who was older knew more about what she wanted out of life and didn’t have the insecurities that many younger women had. And her eventual forwardness with me was something that I LOVED!
I was putty in her hands at this point and I think that she knew it.
The screaming of intoxicated folks on the dance floor broke our gaze momentarily long enough for me to drink in her physical attributes that were somewhat cloaked in the neon enhanced shadows of the club. Her limbs were full just as were her deliciously constructed killer thighs that were perfectly showcased in a miniskirt that was as bright of a burgundy that I have ever seen before being considered the color red.
I have always had a weakness for thick thighs.
Well, her hourglass shape and pouting full red lips made it no better.
Nor did the stiletto heels that her strong presence overshadowed in the sense that most women who sport this manner of garb appear most often to be trying to impress too hard. With her strong silent bearing and obvious charisma, her aura was stronger than anything that she could have thought to have worn.
Temptation definitely had a strong hold on me at this point.
If she stood there in a burlap sack I STILL would have noticed her above and beyond anyone else there in the club.
So far, after feeling my heart skip a beat, I realized that on a visual level this “aged to perfection” vixen was all that I have ever
yearned for in my elusive masturbatory fantasies. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Her hand quickly reached out to offer a handshake in business like fashion. There was obviously so much more to her than meets the eye. She obviously was very comfortable in my presence and wasn’t afraid to show it. Most women didn’t possess this type of assertiveness especially in the presence of a half naked muscular young man in a dank dark back hallway of a local hang out spot. I got the impression that she was not one of the “regulars”.
“I loved what I saw out there” she said in a voice that pierced through the hedonistic festivities that were a mere few yards away.
“It’s obvious that you are a gentleman, you handled those crazy women well out there while the other guys were obviously just looking to get some quick pussy, there is definitely something very intriguing about you.”
Wow! I thought to myself! Not only was I getting complimented by a woman to whom I thought was a dream cum true, but it seemed as though the long boring evening that I anticipated having after leaving the club might just turn out to be interesting after all!
“Listen”, she said, “while you may believe me or not, what I am about to ask of you is something that I never thought I would ever do nor ever did before. I would love it if you came home with me…….” I kind of trust you, think you are totally hot and really cool.
What was my answer? Come ON now people! I was a testosterone laden “just out of my teens” in shape hot blooded still a man-child who wasn’t as savvy as I had become in my present years so you KNOW that I did a classic Ralph Kramden stammer as I unequivocally told her Y-Y-YESSSSSS!
I held her hand as we hurriedly walked past the “other” musclemen who looked totally shocked when they saw me leaving the club with the hottest looking woman there so fast. I couldn’t help but throw my head back victoriously as I sashayed past them, I HAD to do that. Hell. I was young and that is something that men do. It’s a man thing ladies, you just WOULDN’T understand.
The below freezing New York City cold was a quick reminder of the fact that we had to find a warm place to maintain our libido driven heat really fast…….and the heat wasn’t too far away to my surprise.
It is usually accepted as gospel that having a personal vehicle while living in New York City is not a necessity, in actuality, it’s a
liability and a bother in most cases. So those of us in the city assume that others more than likely use public transportation like the
rest of us. So imagine the pleasant surprise that I experienced when I saw her pull out a glistening pair of car keys as she hurriedly walked to the only car in the lot.
A spanking brand new bright red convertible BMW.
I’ve never been one to be materialistic, but I had to admit, the vehicle and her demeanor sure did add to the mystery and allure of
this woman. She could have any man that she wanted so I was flattered that she seemed to want to get me somewhere private all to herself, the attraction was obvious but she seemed to have a sense of urgency about getting at me in an intimate way.
It was all non verbal.
And it was so nice and warm quite quickly sitting in those soft leather seats.
I noticed how she didn’t even try to pull her mini skirt back to its original position after it rode up high on her thighs while she sat
down in the plush imported two seater. Who was I too complain? Very much a visual treat for me I compared my very up close an personal view of those perfect thighs to a hungry man taking in the menu at his favorite restaurant and couldn’t wait to get his lips on the meal. Only in my case the meal was within reach and wanted very much to be devoured also.
I was getting so weak at this point.
She worked the stick shift in a way that was a hint of her innate skills with all things phallic, I took note of that and believed she knew the effect that her display had on me and I allowed it to intoxicate me even further. That skirt at this point his nothing as it
slide up to reveal the laciest undergarment that I had ever had the pleasure of viewing in my life. All of this was taken in while
utilizing my visual peripheral skills, although she allowed me to see her smirk as a way of letting me know that I was not as slick as I thought I was and she knew exactly what I was looking at. But that was the mutual thrill.
……..see how fast a person can get caught up?
She didn’t live too far. We drove down Fulton Street, made a left on Nostrand Avenue and another left on Winthrop Street. I followed her like a trained puppy and realized that I was NOT the one in control when at first I thought I was. She picked me. Plain and simple. at some point when I was out there on stage something “clicked” in her mind that I WAS going to come home with her. I was merely a cheap prop in the play that would showcase her erotic performance for this night. At this point I realized that her words proclaiming that she is a novice in the art of the one night stand were a well spoken lie. Did I have a problem with that? No! Lie to me all you want baby, I just wanted to be the one walking behind you up those creaky old steps with you to YOUR humble abode!
……..guess you can say I was a willing victim. Some of us just make the dumbest choices…….
No need to get into the details of the passionate festivities as they took place. I will keep this blog out of the X-rated category, but you could only imagine. Needless to say, that woman taught me things that I never knew before and definitely raised the bar of my sensual awareness. It’s just one of those personal junction points in ones life that could NEVER be forgotten.
Completely spent and happily drained, I was so shocked to see that when I gazed over to the “glow in the dark” hands of the wind up time clock on the nightstand, that the time was a lot earlier than I had thought. Must of been good. We left the club around 1:15 a.m. and were in full swing by 1:50 so for it to be a little before 4 o’clock was news to me. We lay quietly next to each other on the bed as though we both were looking for an excuse to go back into our realities abruptly without insulting the other party. The illusion was over. I was ready to go home. It was more true lust than true love. She must have been embarrassed a little as her answering machine picked up a call from her brother jokingly telling her that she had to give him back his car at the end of the week and thanking her for car sitting it for him.
She told me it was hers and paid for.
She attempted to turn down the volume of the answering machine but inadvertently pushed “play” and all of her messages began to spill out for all to hear…….
She had a call from a girlfriend who told her that her prior shoplifting charge shouldn’t be a problem for her to get the job and congratulated her in advance for breaking almost two years of unemployment.
Another message seemed to come from what I believed was her step-father who was very upset for lying to him about the reason why she had to borrow that 25,000 dollars and wanted to know when she was going to start paying it back.
Talk about breaking the illusion and getting a peek past the facade!
The trickle of lust that smoldered from within still gazed amazingly at the curvature of her full sexy thighs and savored the flavor of all that lurked deliciously in between. I could see how so many men get caught up in a woman’s beauty ignoring their shortcomings that border on the dangerous. She was a fine example of this phenomenon and I was quite sure at this point that she had broken quite a few hearts in her day, and as her answering machine had revealed, she was no stranger to drama. I couldn’t help but think to myself that I might be playing with a loaded gun just by being there as we never really know the people that we get involved with as it doesn’t take long to change ones life through an improperly time union even if that coupling only last for a few hours.
Was this a premonition?
That thought was immediately banished as she found her way downward with those full pouting very eager and extremely educated lips to speak to my brain in a non verbal very oral manner. Being once again paralyzed with a bliss that flooded my entire being, I couldn’t care less at this point WHAT type of person she was because neither one of us craved each others company because of a damn background check. It was this type of thinking that I later learned to avoid and always heed my first gut feeling and inner voice!
A car door slammed outside so very loud the way it does when a person is very angry or when the police are in a hurry and slam their car doors. The sound of it in the wee hours of the morning startled not only me, but my well trained suckstress whose name happened to be Gwendolyn……..she abruptly stopped the King’s treatment that she was giving me and without even looking out of the window she screamed: “HE’S HERE!”
I said shakenly: WHO IS HERE?” I was scared! everything that I found out about her made me connect dots that weren’t even there. Was she a hooker who just wanted the company of a “boy-toy” for the night to get a break from the grind? Was she involved in the drug game and I was about to get caught up in a bad money deal because she cheated someone out of some cash or drugs? she DID still owed her step daddy 25,000 dollars so she was capable of neglecting to pay ANYONE if she thought that she could get away with it. Was it a jilted lover who couldn’t stand to see her with anyone else?
I should have taken my 25 dollar having ass right on home or messed around with one of those droopy titty ‘hood chicks that all wanted the same thing! I know that I wouldn’t be in a life or death situation with them if I had gone home with one of them. I would just have to probably endure a few roaches crawling up on the bed while we did our calisthenics! Heck. That didn’t look like such a bad idea at THIS point!
She ran to the window to confirm. It was her HUSBAND to whom she said she was separated from. But who could trust this shoplifter at her word? She already got caught by me in so many lies. Seems like the only thing she WAS good at was appearing to be something that she was not and also being good in bed. That I will grant her, but now as she informed me of her marital status, separated or not, I went into survival mode immediately!
Gathering up my clothes in the dark I tried to get out of that bedroom and into another room where I could get dressed. The only consolation was that I DID have on one sock that stayed on for some reason throughout the entire night of passion. Smart foot. He was ready to get out of there from earlier! I should have caught the hint.
Gwendolyn told me that he is a corrections officer at Riker’s Island and he has a very bad temper and is still very territorial with her. She just told me to GET OUT!
Talk about feeling used and thrown away.
I peeked out of the window to see a Big George Foreman look-alike still in uniform and probably carrying his piece in that pouch that was swinging in his right hand. He looked angry as well as very drunk and was mumbling under his breath something about “hurting a motherfucker tonight” and I thought to myself HOW was I going to get out of this place when there was just one narrow creaky stairwell to exit and I wasn’t about to TRY to push past this bruiser who looked to weigh in at about 350 pounds. Plus, I was on the third story above the ground! Come on Lance! THINK QUICK!
I heard keys jingling.
Gwendolyn completely abandoned me as she cowered in the corner as though she was waiting for a beating. It was obvious by her body language that her husband was abusive physically to her and maybe he had another reason in his mind to DO something violent to her. I took it to mean that I was just another body in a long list of lovers that she had a taste for. And looking at her husband for the split second that I did, I can see why. Although it isn’t cool to be reckless, some people get pushed into things because of the madness that they have to endure at home. But what was MY excuse for MY recklessness that night?
“Stupidity” with a capital S!
I could hear the door opening downstairs, my heart raced and everything started to move in slow motion. I saw death but claimed life.
My ONLY chance…….
I looked toward Gwendolyn as I pointed to the window and she nodded in agreement that it might be my only chance. I was still naked with my clothes in my arms. The footsteps got closer as I could tell that this heavyweight of a giant had now made it to the second floor. There would be no time to pause. I opened the latch to the window and pulled it up high with all of my might. It felt as though it hadn’t been opened in years. I was blasted with that freezing night air but had no choice but to endure it as I ran for my life. I threw my clothes out of the window hoping that where ever they landed, I could find them because I did NOT know what was down there but I did know that her husband was shuffling those keys trying to get in!
I heard them drop.
I had one leg out of the window and I know I cut myself slightly on the edge of the concrete window sill but what is that to complain about. It was a strange contrast to still have the sweet flavor of her womanhood in my mouth while at the same time feeling so much pain from a small cut that felt as though I had been stabbed with a butcher knife.
Out of frustration he banged the door LOUD and said:
“I know you got a nigger in there bitch! Answer this damn door so I can beat the shit out of BOTH of you! I’ll come here when I want to because I pay the Goddamn rent here!”
That’s all of the motivation that I needed to plunge myself out into the cold night sky without a stitch of clothes on except a damn sock! As he kicked the door in, I made impact on the first story roof that unexpectedly broke my fall! Now I hear dogs barking and I couldn’t tell where they where! I looked up and saw Gwendolyn’s husband peering out blindly into the dark but I knew that he couldn’t see me and at this point probably didn’t care as he would then focus on administering to her another beating that she seemed so ready to receive.
My adrenalin was through the roof as I grabbed up my clothes noticing that lights were coming on in the apartment windows all around that backyard which helped me to see a little better what was going on with my next leap. I could see those dogs were leashed but I still had to jump down there with them and find a way out to the front and PRAYED that the yard wasn’t locked! My legs were cramping from that leap as well as the acrobatics that Gwen put on my just within the hour. Funny how an hour or a few minutes can change one’s reality like night and DAY!
I squatted down at the edge and JUMPED!
Thank God that the metal garbage cans broke my fall but now I had “garbage juice” all over me and I smelled like a sanitation truck on a hot summer day! Not a good thing but low on my list of priorities right now because I still felt as though my life was in danger. If not from Gwendolyn’s husband then from someone who would “kill” this naked intruder in their backyard!
I got up in total pain knowing that while nothing was broken, something was bleeding badly as I was scrapped up pretty bad as my skin burned from the small cuts. The dogs went CRAZY as they strained every link of their chains to get at me but I wasn’t about to hang around to become their breakfast. I tried the iron gate and was overjoyed to find that all it had on it to secure it was a mere latch!
I was home free but wait!
I had to get dressed.
And get dressed QUICK!
I was scared that SOMEONE would call the cops. As a matter of fact, I KNEW someone did as this was New York City and it was just a matter of WHEN they would arrive there! My first priority was to at least get my pants on as I realized my shoes were still up in the apartment. Was I going back to get them? Would YOU? Well then………
I was heading toward the front of the building when in fact I DID see two police cars speeding down the block and I knew I was a dead duck! What was I going to tell THEM? They flew by the building as though they had another call to go to. Thank God. I can here Gwendolyn getting beat badly and I also heard her husband say that “that nigger can’t be too far, I’m going outside to find him!”
I thought to myself: “No you’re NOT!”
And TOOK OFF down the street holding my clothes NAKED! Just me and my sock!
Now, this being New York City, there were still people coming home from engagements as well as a few still hanging outside so all I could here behind me was: “Look at that man out here in the street butt-naked running! He’s out here running with his ASS OUT!”
You think I cared?
They wouldn’t EVER look at me again! I turned into an alley way that reeked of the stench of freshly made urine but that was the least of my worries, my objective was to now get dressed! My underwear and shoes were still at Gwen’s and I know that if the husband found them, it would be the proof he needed to beat her to the brink of death.
I finally got my pants on as my socked feet FROZE on the cold concrete but the shirt that I grabbed was one that belonged to Gwen! It was a pink nighty that had lots of glitter on it spelling out the sentence “Come And Get Your LOVE!” OMG! Embarrassing but I had NO choice! That nighty was NOT going to keep me warm but it would keep me from being naked. I walked all the way back down to the Winthrop Street and Nostrand Avenue subway station and was trailed by every Down Low Brother (And this was before they called them that!) in their cars looking for some quick illicit sex. Although I knew I wasn’t out there for that, I sure did LOOK the part! Never did I think that when I started my night that I would end up like this scrapped up, bloody, barefoot with a pink woman’s top on getting blown kisses at by strange men!
See? The consequences of sin is death and I was a marked man by my choices that night. Sometimes in life we get over the odds and feel invincible to what can truly happen. It gives you a false sense of confidence to try your “luck” until you find yourself in a sorry state of affairs. Think of all of the men who were caught in a woman’s bed that should NOT have been in when their husband arrive home. Not only that but ANY situation that was lust driven and able to blur ones common sense as to what was right from wrong. I believe that certain situations will always transpire as long as human nature remains as it is. I found out what could happen that night with my close call but wouldn’t learn my lesson until years later with an even CLOSER call that truly turned my thinking around. Some learn from one mishap but it took me a few. Thank God that His protective hand was over my life throughout my foolish choices, others I can say were not even THAT blessed.