The Reality Most Men Don’t Understand
Young men, listen up. This is coming from a man who has been through it all—good and bad—when it comes to dealing with women. Growing up in New York City, I’ve seen firsthand how things work between men and women, and I want to share some real game with you. The truth is, most young men are misled by their lower desires, constantly chasing after women, thinking that persistence will win them over. But the real ones—the men who build themselves up, stay focused, and become high-value—understand that the dynamics change completely once you level up.
Most young men believe they should be able to attract a beautiful woman quickly just because they exist. They think their youth and excitement are enough to win a quality woman over. But reality quickly humbles them. If you’re not established, disciplined, or working toward something bigger, most women won’t even look your way—at least not the kind of women you truly want.
This realization leads many men down the wrong path. They either settle for women they don’t really want or waste time chasing women who don’t respect them. What they fail to understand is that women—especially the high-quality ones—are naturally attracted to men who are focused, disciplined, and respected by other women. A man who carries himself like he has options (without being a womanizer) is far more attractive than a man who desperately chases after a woman, putting her on a pedestal.
This isn’t to say that all women are wired this way, but the majority are. It’s natural. Women want a man who is in control of his life, not a man who is constantly trying to prove his worth to them. The more you chase, the more you lose. But when you focus on yourself, the right women will start chasing you.
Why Most Men Struggle With Women
The biggest reason most young men struggle in the dating game is because they lead with desperation. They text too much, call too much, and act as if they’ve won the lottery when they get a woman’s attention. This immediately lowers their value in the eyes of the woman. Why? Because women want to feel like they are stepping into a man’s life—not that they are the center of it.
When you’re young, you’re still building. You don’t have the confidence, the money, or the experience that a truly desirable man has. And that’s okay—every man starts somewhere. But instead of focusing on women, you should be focusing on yourself. When you level up in life, the women will come.
What’s funny is that the same women who ignored you when you were broke and struggling will suddenly see you as desirable once you’ve put in the work. And when that time comes, you’ll notice something: You’re no longer desperate for their attention. In fact, you’ll be more selective, because you’ve developed the discipline and self-respect to know your worth.
The Psychology Behind Female Attraction
Women are attracted to men who other women find attractive—it’s that simple. And this doesn’t mean you have to be a player or a womanizer. What it means is that women subconsciously value a man who has options. If a man is focused on his purpose, respected by others, and not desperate for female attention, he becomes highly desirable.
A woman wants to feel like she has to earn her spot in your life. She doesn’t want to feel like she’s doing you a favor by being with you. This is why confident, successful men never struggle with women. They don’t chase. They don’t beg. They don’t overextend themselves. They simply continue doing what makes them great, and women naturally gravitate toward them.
Contrast this with the man who is always texting, always calling, always trying to “prove” himself to a woman. He becomes unattractive because he signals that he has no options. The moment a woman feels like she is your only hope for happiness, she loses interest. It’s not about playing games—it’s about understanding human nature.
The Turning Point: When It All Changes
There comes a moment in every successful man’s life when the dynamic shifts. After years of hard work, discipline, and self-improvement, he reaches a level where women start to pursue him instead of the other way around. And when that happens, everything changes.
At this stage, a man no longer struggles to get attention from women. In fact, he often finds himself in the position of turning women down. This is the power of becoming a man of value. The same women who once ignored him now want him. Why? Because he has become the kind of man they respect and admire.
For some men, this leads to indulging in the attention of multiple women. But the smart ones—the ones who truly understand the game—know that choosing one great woman is far more valuable than chasing endless short-term flings. No man who gets greedy with women ever ends up winning in the long run. Discipline is key.
Why Patience and Focus Are the Keys to Success
If you’re a young man struggling with women, the best advice I can give you is this: Stop chasing. Stop making women the center of your life. Focus on building yourself up. Get your money right, get your mind right, and develop skills that make you valuable.
When you become a man of value, everything else falls into place. The women you once dreamed of will start coming to you. And by the time they do, you’ll realize something: You’re no longer desperate. You don’t feel like you have to impress them. You simply are who you are, and that’s enough.
This is the secret that most men never figure out. They waste their youth running after women, when they should be using that time to build themselves up. The man who resists the temptation of chasing skirts and instead focuses on his grind will one day wake up and realize that the very thing he was chasing is now chasing him.
The Path to Becoming a High-Value Man
To all the young men reading this, take this wisdom to heart. I’ve lived through it. I’ve experienced both sides of the game, and I can tell you without a doubt that the key to attracting the kind of woman you want is to focus on yourself first.
Women are naturally drawn to strength, focus, and ambition. They don’t want a man who worships them—they want a man who is already living a fulfilling life with or without them. If you carry yourself like a man with options, women will respond to you differently.
And remember, this isn’t about playing games or pretending to be something you’re not. It’s about genuinely becoming the kind of man who doesn’t need to chase women because his value is obvious. Work on your body, your finances, your mindset, and your purpose. Become the best version of yourself.
The reward for your patience and discipline is that when you do meet the right woman, she will respect you, admire you, and be proud to stand beside you. And at that point, you won’t have to prove anything—she will already know.
Yours truly,
LanceScurv
