Those Loving In-Laws: That Unexpected And Very Much Unwanted Amenity That Came With That “Bait And Switch” Package Of Marriage!



That ideal union supposedly between two people in love who want to take that ultimate step in the display of serious commitment and undying love for one another was supposed to be the highest union between two people in the eyes of God.

What you might not have expected was that it would be a constant battle to protect your sanity, emotional resources and bank account after you discovered the hard way that when you married your spouse you also inherited an entire family worth of hangups, past events that you had absolutely nothing to do with as well as a positioning in someone else’s life to become the blame for ALL that was bad IN that family before you even came into the picture!

It’s almost like trying to convince a bunch of grown people who have all agreed to believe that the sky is purple that it is really blue! As long as they have silently agreed to this mass denial then you might as well pack it up and LEAVE!

What happened and why couldn’t you see the mess that you were about to get yourself into?

Well most people are like that old clunker of a used car that looks so pretty sitting on the lot. The body is waxed to perfection and the
rims look so good. Even a peek into the interior reveals a place that is so plush it defies all logic especially when you say to yourself
that “I better jump on this deal before anyone else takes it away from me, this is my dream car and no one else is going to rob me of this opportunity!”

But in our anxiousness to get those keys in our hands we often forget to check the maintenance records, the cars history and almost always forget to inquire why this vehicle sat here for so long on the market without being purchased.

If it were such a good deal, why has everyone left it alone?

It’s comparable to a potential employer who feels that the applicant possesses some extraordinary traits and wants to hire them on the spot except for those unexplained gaps in employment that might be an indication of a deeper more problematic issue.

But in our dogged determination to follow our loins and not Gods will, we only think of the prior phase after we are in it. And remember, it so easy to get in but so very hard to get out! Some marriages are harder to get out of than those notorious crime families of the criminal underworld! And even when you break free physically you will have the financial and mental repercussions as well as the games that can go on for an entire lifetime most often with the offspring (And not necessarily your own!) picking up the mantle and continuing the meaningless battle until DEATH!

The sad part is that many of us who are on the inside looking in don’t really see how fast the years are flying by and many times NEVER come to our senses about what is really reality. We usually die in a hopeless situation battling with in-laws who keep coming to invade what should be respected like those zombies out of the classic cult movie “Night Of The Living Dead!”

It appears that their only goal in life is to break up your marriage and bring you into a misery that can align you with their sorry lives. At first everything appears wonderful as you embrace these demons with open arms not knowing that in essence you are sleeping with the enemy! You, in an attempt to bond with them, share many things and try to accelerate the connectedness that would surely be a cherished relationship for years to come and hopefully for the rest of your lives.

But the mere action of sharing your innermost thoughts, secrets and dreams is the same as a U.S. Government Spy giving up the secrets of this country to the very enemy that he is supposed to be spying on! They will later be used against you in an emotional game of chess! Trust me, this is when things can get downright nasty! The snide remarks, the smear jobs, the character assassinations will come at a rapid pace and will all be done with a BIG SMILE across their face!

There is only one way to deal with them. Get rid of them from your inner space! make them a memory! The world is big enough that they can find their own private space without always trying to find a way to climb on top of your head while you attempt to live a normal happy life with this dead weight on your neck! For your home to BE a home and for you to FEEL at home you must keep these entities OUT of your home!

That’s number one! And yes there is a whole lot more but that is the main one!

These creatures will slowly infest your home to the point where YOU are uncomfortable their and THEY feel as though they are in THEIR space! Some will even argue with you without paying one thin dime that it isn’t even yours even if you are paying all of the bills and go to work everyday! They feel as though possessing the same D.N.A. as your spouse entitles them to the complete entry into all things considered private even though they profess to know better!

Having the same bloodline is imaginary and even misleading. But many emotional in-law leeches will prostitute the F-Word (Family) to their benefit as the pity parties come from all angles in order to siphon your hard earned resources through your spouse. You see, don’t be fooled by the D.N.A. game, because that’s all it is.

Having the same genes can only go far if you have the same “spirit!”

Some of your worst enemies can share parents and grandparents or even be children OR parents. The F- Word is only brought up when something is desired from you. It is a superficial covering that goes only skin or blood deep. Do you think that everyone who drives the same model car as you is your friend? Do you see someone at the shopping mall that is carrying the same handbag and feel as though you are bound by the bag in some strange twisted way? Is everyone who has your same first name just like you?

So stop thinking that just because their is a D.N.A. chain similarity that it means that you have reacted to the various stimuli in life in the same manner! We all have our own personalities, likes, dislikes, weaknesses and strong points! I am not against family unity as I am for it but I will NOT allow it to blur what is right and what is wrong in how grown people manipulate one another in the name of family to break up a wonderful marriage!

So we have to throw them OUT and keep them out of your inner space. The next thing is to not allow them to be so accessible to knowing your personal schedule, your goings and your comings. This way they cannot just “pop up” unannounced without you knowing or being prepared. And if they do happen to pop up while you are doing the lawn or washing your car, let them know that you are on your way OUT! Be nice but be elusive, the trick here is to not allow them to pick up on your personal rhythm so they can possibly plan a future attack on your sanity…….because that is what it boils down to, either your grin and bear them while they suck your life force down, or you protect your precious sanity. One thing is for sure, I’ve never seen anyone lose their mind completely and come back normal or anywhere near it. So keep these denizens of evil far out and away from your space so you can at least have some time to bond with your spouse! Misery loves company and if those meddling in-laws had a life of their own then they would be too busy too spend the precious time messing with YOURS!

Take charge and clean house! It’s a beautiful thing…….

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