It is that very necessary component which is more of a foundation to our lives than most of us even understand.
A good home life can build and support even the weakest individual to reach the previously unattainable heights of success just as well as a bad home life can thwart the surefire victories of even the most focused, driven individuals amongst us.
It is that crucial to say the least…….
If we had things “tight” at home we wouldn’t do the things that we usually do that appear to be the foolish choices once we are made to face the consequences of them in hindsight.
Many individuals who have a torrential home situation always fare better in life once they are removed from the atmosphere of confusion, drama and battles that are unavoidable when one dwells in there particular personal in-house dysfunctional situation call home life.
I have personally experienced in my life at different points and in different situations the personal hell that a home life can be due to the toxic entities that resided (Or rather “infested!”) under the same roof with me only to realize that after forcefully removing them (Kicking their lazy leeching drama filled disrespectful asses out!) and enjoying the most peaceful productive existence while those happily discarded components sputtered on a downward trajectory and aimlessly into nothingness under the curse of their own unacknowledged destructive dysfunctions!
When one has a great home life/foundation, the world can appear to be so good. But when your situation at home makes you take the long way home as you find yourself dreading every step that brings you closer, the world is colored in to appear to be the worst place in the universe.
But you have to understand that if you wear spectacles that have red colored lenses on them, you can’t expect the world to look green.
If only those torturous situations at home could be removed as easily as a pair of glasses the world would sure be a better place overnight!
If it were that easy then we would have less alcoholics with piss-stained pants stumbling and mumbling down the street in the world because the high of coming home would be sweeter and more delicious than any unhealthy rush that could be purchased in a bottle.
If getting rid of a bad home life were as easy as taking out the garbage every week, there would be more psychiatrists out of work because of the lack of stressed disillusioned people who need the guidance and therapy that only a trained professional could bring.
Most shrinks would be forced to supplementing their income with some part time hours at the local Walmart or flipping burgers at McDonald’s and frustrated to the point of seeking professional help for themselves!
If discarding a bad home life were as easy as taking your trash to the incinerator then there would be a whole lot of unemployed and out of work lawyers in our midst because of the sharp reduction in domestic violence cases due to the love and support that many of us would finally get at home!
So understand the accumulative effect that having a healthy, loving, productive and highly communicative nurturing home life can have on the immediate world around you!
Your neighborhoods would improve swiftly and sharply because of the pride that would rain down on those who live in that same community.
Whole towns would be strengthened as well as the entire country would benefit as our quality of life would improve in the twinkling of an eye if we as a whole made the healthy corrections to our home life.
But to be honest with you it ain’t that easy. It’s not impossible to accomplish at all but it’s not that simple a task by a long-shot!
Sometimes the biggest fight we’ll have to keep our dreams alive are the ones we have at home!
That’s no lie…….
What happens when you are married to a mate who is a certified home wrecker and in-house dream killer?
What do you do then?
While you can easily throw out a slothful in-law or a rebellious young adult, it is even more difficult to get rid of that one who you are supposed to love and who loves you back in a sick controlling manner that is based on the insecurity of losing you one day because of your quickly developing talents and abilities.
So there is a confirmed love/hate relationship going on very subtly and oftentimes undetected by those who are close in the inner circle who feel as though they know the individuals real well in the distressed home life that they have.
It’s not that easy to detect even when you are in the relationship of this kind. I would say that most of the time it could take years to discover that you have an in house thief who is usurping your ambition while you’ve wracked your brain in the all consuming attempt to locate the source of you emotional drain.
I have found that one of the reasons that you may not have detected the fact that you have an enemy living with you and “loving” you outwardly is that the love and support that they give is laced with the poisonous sabotage attempts woven into what seems to be a good gesture and deed but designed to slowly bring you down a few notches effectively and permanently.
Their deeds of unconditional support are never complete (And never will be!) but only to a slight degree deficient in order to fly undetected below your conscious and spiritual radar.
I call it the act of “loving sabotage!”
It’s like getting a tall glass of the most delicious ice tea on a hot summer day but without the sugar.
It’s like getting the better of the two cars that you both own (You always feel good about your mate driving the nicer vehicle but get that silent resistance when you need it once in a blue moon!) but finding out that there is no gas in it as you drive off.
It’s like getting the hamburger without the ketchup.
…….taking a shower and realizing that the soap has been removed.
…….sucking them all the time but realizing after a while that they find a reason to always get out of sucking you back, NOT FAIR! (Yes I am talking about oral sex, and this is why you love my blogs because I always say something off the chain in them unexpectedly! Lol! I wouldn’t be me unless I do that!)
Now you know I can go on and on with comical examples but I think you got the point by now!
But seriously, watch the expression on your mates face when you have achieved some personal victory and accomplishment, if they are in your corner completely then the joy will wash completely over their entire being as though it was their victory because if they are completely into you then in actuality it IS!
But if they are not into your personal advancement as you should be for theirs then their look of joy will only be strained, temporary and quickly forgotten as they plan the next lethal attack on your drive and enthusiasm to counteract that recent victory that they tried unsuccessfully to sabotage.
This is some deep stuff and I am breaking it down in easily digestible pieces people so you MUST add this tidbit of a plug-in to your personal radar as it will empower you to detect those in your inner circle and midst by helping to raise those all important red flags that will save you years and even decades of spinning your wheels hard and not knowing why you aren’t getting anywhere with the intense efforts being put forth by you in your chosen fields of excellence.
This is why you must be careful to make the CHOICE to carefully audit that person’s actions to see if they are worthy of building a home life together with you and will not hinder your sincere attempts of upward advancement because of their own lack of self esteem that will eventually become that sharp thorn in your side!
One obvious shortcut into discovering if they possess the ambition to match yours is to see what they have been doing with THEIR life in the last few years before you came into the picture. Leopards don’t change their spots and someone who lacks the drive to develop themselves over and above what is acceptable as average will NOT all of a sudden change their stagnant rhythms because of your overwhelming amount of drive that can sometimes make you feel as though you can “cover” lazy soul in that situation by infusing them with your potent doses of enthusiasm to save the day!
It doesn’t work that way and if you have ever wasted the time to try it you will find that your pep talks will only keep them going as long as you are around and will fizzle away like an unattended glass of Alka-Seltzer once they are left alone to their own lack of drive to sputter out like a windup toy that ended its journey up under the couch somewhere until discovered the next time you run the broom under it!
Don’t waste your time trying to save these happily broken men who have no motivation yet have the drive to stop your righteous flow! And gentlemen, stop putting yourself in the position of being the self effacing Savior in a dead situation or rather (In street terminology) being the designated “Captain Save-A-Ho” because you will only suck down the precious resources of enthusiasm that you took so long to righteously build!
So the only way to deal with this situation is to speak to your mate directly, calmly and right to the point in an non confrontational manner about the little signs that you have noticed. If they attempt to throw off on you that YOU are the one who are imagining these obvious manifestations and will not come clean with the observances that you have documented either mentally or on paper for so very long then it is time to clean house and move on!
Because the worst feeling in this life is to get to your mature years and look back on that time period that you tried to spend with this so called mate who stopped you from fulfilling your potential and realizing that your life could have been so much better without them as you failed to take the necessary action to release yourself from their toxic grip and submitted your vast God given potential to a situation that reeked of low self esteem, low expectations and that silent agreement to never push beyond the narrow confines of a closed in life that never went anywhere or advanced.
How sad that would be because at that point you could never bring that time back.
But you do have the time now and whether you know it or not it is like putty in your hands to mold and to shape in any righteous manner that you so well choose.
The problem is to not allow anyone to make you believe that you don’t have the power to elevate your life and that you are to live in a perpetual rut for the rest of your life.
Here is a little LanceScurv word of advice…….heed it well:
Everyday make sure to communicate with someone out of your normal path. Reach out to total strangers who are obviously about reaching a goal as they would be glad to tell you what there mission involves and this in turn will stir the fluids of motivation within you to go after what YOUR mission is!
If you continue to execute the same action and expect a different result then this is the beginning of the end for you. You MUST stimulate yourself with new movements and new energies in order to maximize your time and move yourself up slowly and surely to those new realities that are waiting for you whether your insecure covertly negative mate believes that are there or not.
You have the right to go after your dreams and NO ONE one was ever put here by your Creator in Heaven to stop you from achieving them! That negative spirit of dream killing is NOT from God no matter how much they try to convince you how much they are in your corner and begin to go down the laundry list of situations that they have helped you in. It was only an investment to rope you in to suck from the positive spirit that they saw in you to feast on it until nothing is left!
Can’t you feel the drain?
So know that while it may seem to be an inconvenience and a bother to have to pick up again to start all over if the situation can’t be rectified through intelligent and honest dialogue. Know that you can pick up and start your OWN home even if it is a roach infested heat lacking room in a ghetto rooming house house on the crime ridden side of town. You are NOT your surroundings and if you believe in your work ethic and hold a dream strong enough in your heart then you and I both know that you will not be there for long!
What is the purpose of having a mate who refuses to be the wind beneath your wings? With no wind to lift you into flight your plane will never fly!
The choice of matrimonial stagnation is yours but I will warn you that if you possess an abundance of God given talents then you have to understand that there is a steep price for returning back to Him a life of untapped potential because it is a literal sin to waste those same very talents to not effect those around you as you were chosen to do because of some damn loser of a mate that you’ve allowed to get in the way of a divine mission and who wasn’t even probably the designated soul mate that He desired for you in the first place! (Wow! That was a long sentence now wasn’t it?)
You WILL have to answer some very serious questions and do know that the decision on your eternal life will weigh in the balance. It is THAT serious!
So waste time no more and get YOUR life straight and in keeping with what your earthly tasks are here while you walk the face of the earth. You just may find that you will begin to walk with an overwhelming and unshakable joy once you do.
…….and isn’t that ALONE worth the effort of cleaning up your life?
Think about it.