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What Little Marys & Little Daves Are Made Of……..

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“Mommy I want that toy!”

We often here this cried out when in the shopping mall or in Wal-Mart and the scenarios seems to always go a little something like this either one of two ways:

A little kid is told that they cannot get the toy that they wanted as it was not in the budget and it was not going to happen because the child was misbehaving and very disruptive in school earlier that week.

The child screams at the top of their lungs much to surprise of everyone within earshot and purposely falls to the ground in protest as though this rebellious action will force the parent to acquiesce to the child’s demands.

In this scenario the parent will say: “Okay! Okay Little Mary! I will get the toy for you if you just behave yourself and stop the screaming! I will get you whatever it is that you want! You know that I love you!”

Little Mary has learned this time as in the many occasions thereafter, the tantrums work, and little do we know it but we now have here the beginnings of the child controlling the parent. Little Mary’s mother has a church friend with her most of the time shopping together who has witnessed that this is how she raises her child.

Don’t think that I have lost my mind, because I have witnessed this process of control play itself out right before my very eyes so many times before with divine results to develop a human being that is irresponsible, lazy, not accountable for their actions and disrespectful to the law, the community and to the citizens that comprise those very same communities.

The life training of manipulation has begun. Little Mary has had her first taste and confirmation that in this world laws can be broken without punishment and the rules really don’t have to be followed without any amount of accountability whatsoever.

The second scenario might go a little something like this:

A little kid is told that they cannot get the toy that they wanted as it was not in the budget and it was not going to happen because the child was misbehaving and very disruptive in school earlier that week.

The child screams at the top of their lungs much to surprise of everyone within earshot and purposely falls to the ground in protest as though this rebellious action will force the parent to acquiesce to the child’s demands.

In this scenario the parent will say: It’s NOT okay to behave in this manner! I am the mother and YOU are the child little David! NOT the other way around! I will NOT get the toy for you because you did NOT earn it with those disrespectful ways you have displayed in school! If you continue to misbehave and continue the screaming it will get you the punishment that you seem to want so badly! After I raise you up properly you WILL know one day beyond a shadow of a doubt that I really love you!”

Little David has learned this time as in the many occasions thereafter, the tantrums just won’t work, and little do we know it but we now have here the beginnings of the parent controlling the child.

Don’t think that I have lost my mind because although it may not be as common today as it was when I was growing up, I have witnessed this process of righteous control play itself out right before my very eyes so many times before with divine results to develop a human being that is responsible, hard working, accountable for their actions and respectful of the law, the community and to the citizens that comprise those very same communities.

And many say that proper upbringing doesn’t have an effect on what type of individual and character that the child will grow up to have!

Yes!

There ARE exceptions to the general rule and we can always bring up the story of someone that we know personally who was brought up in very adverse conditions. Not only that, but that same environmentally challenged individual might have accrued a massive record of various misdemeanors and felonies from repeatedly breaking the law and STILL overcame the seemingly insurmountable odds very late in life to make a BIG metamorphosis in their personal turnaround!

Yes.

We all know those particular situations, but if truth be told we must understand that this is NOT the norm and instances of this are far and few between! So do not be taken for a ride when perpetually non productive clown who is only looking for a quick hit of their well known addiction with YOU footing the tab tells you that “Malcolm X was a drug user and a criminal at one time in his life before God stepped in and turned it around so you DON’T know what He has is store for me with MY life!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

True.

But Malcolm X’s transition wasn’t overnight and when he began to see the light he craved to soak in knowledge at a unprecedented feverish pace that very few could match even though he may have been locked down in solitary confinement many numerous times……

…….He did NOT crave to go back to the same street mentality that got him into trouble in the first place, not unless it was when he was imbibed with a renewed mind and light so generously shared and shined down on those very same streets so OTHERS won’t get into the same trouble that he did years previously.

Malcolm Little a.k.a. Malcolm X

 

Like a caterpillar who takes refuge in the safety and darkness of the cocoon, his change is happening right before our very eyes without us actually being able to see it on the surface under the cover of the cocoon..

But even in Malcolm’s travel on this earthly plane, he had an decent upbringing that he could subconsciously “go back to” in the deepest recesses of his thinking. With a fine example of loving supportive mother and unique specimen of a father who was a strong preacher who never displayed one iota of cowardice in the face of the Ku Klux Klan’s most treacherous era of the south.

And I believe it was this spirit that permeated the deepest layers of his being that began to resurface when the spoon of knowledge began to stir up what was dormantly there all through his wayward years in the glass of his life…….

You ALWAYS go back to what you know and if you do not instill the proper habits, qualities and examples to your young ones whether they are your same biological D.N.A. sharers or not, you will have severely handicapped them for the hostile environment of this world that does not care for them and will eat them up and spit them out unless they possess their own trusted internal compass to be empowered to navigate these uncertain waters……..

This is hands DOWN the greatest gift that you can give to your children!

………and many still just don’t get it.

You hear those parents crying out about their children all the time whether it be directly to you or an overheard conversation in the bay next to yours while you are pumping gas at the rest stop filling station: “I don’t know where I went wrong with little Mary, (Let me interject that “Little Mary” is now 19 years old with 5 kids, never was made to finish high school and obviously wasn’t taught to keep her thighs closed either as she, in the back of her mind, searched hard and long for the father figure that she never had!


This is why it turns her on so much when having unprotected sex, void of commitment and monogamy, that her “man for now” aggressively pins her down, grabs her hair hard from behind and TELLS her that she got NO choice but to give up the p***y to “daddy” RIGHT NOW!……….I must also interject that Little Dave has grown up to be a successful international businessman, married commited and faithful to his high school sweetheart who now have five young elementary school age children together who are well behaved honor students.) I gave her everything that she could have ever wanted, a nice home, her own room, designer clothes, lots of spending money and absolutely NO curfew! So I made sure that she had it better than I did growing up AND all of the kids around here in the neighborhood but I guess it just wasn’t enough!”


Am I hearing this right? “Just wasn’t enough?”

Yes. I guess she is right. It just wasn’t enough.

She gave her the private space in the form of her own room but she never OCCUPIED that very same room WITH her much needed motherly presence enough to make a difference, it just wasn’t enough!

She gave her the latest fashions and designer clothes to bring her unnecessary attention to put on her a-s-s but never took the time to get down and WHIP that same a-s-s when she got out of line, the amount of butt whippings that were mandatory for talking back to you in public after you spend all of your hard earned money on this ungrateful viper because of how “suped up” she was from the boys making her think she was a star…….? It just wasn’t enough!

She allowed her to stay out as late as she wanted figuring that she would be her friend if she allowed her to have her way. But she soon found out that if she let her stay out until 9p.m. it wasn’t enough, she wanted to hang out until 11 p..m. And when mother let little Mary party until 12 midnight, there was always an excuse for her to have to arrive home at 3 in the morning. Little Mary always wanted more with disastrous results and poor mother just doesn’t get it.

She gave her LOTS of spending money and absolutely NO SENSE to be responsible and properly handle the massive amounts of CENTS that she had at HER disposal at her MOTHER’S expense

With the big home that mother worked HARD for so Little Mary could have a big yard to run around in and raise her in the best way she thought she could, she is now raising as a grandmother ALL FIVE of Little Mary’s children all by herself. All this stress while she tries to find little Mary’s whereabouts after she heard from a close church sister how she saw her jump in this strange looking white man’s car after walking the hoe strip with a freshly administered black eye late one afternoon in a micro mini skirt looking like she was high out of her mind and about maybe 4 months pregnant.

Now grandmother thinks back to that crossroads of a day in Wal-Mart when her precious little Mary wanted that toy and screamed her lungs out and wouldn’t quit until mother gave in and let her have her way. Now that she thinks back to that fateful turning point of a day and says to herself that if she had got up in that a-s-s on that day BOTH of their lives wouldn’t be in the sorry state of affairs that it is now!

Now with Little Mary no where in sight, she finds herself once again at Wal-Mart not with just one, but five screaming children who all want “that toy” that they were told earlier they couldn’t have. The children all scream at the top of their lungs much to surprise of everyone within earshot and they ALL purposely fall to the ground in protest as though this rebellious action will force their grandmother to acquiesce to her grandchild’s demands. Accompanied by her church sister friend who is witnessing the scenario first hand as she did many times before with Little Mary, can only shake her head ever so slightly in disgust when she hears grandmother say to Little Mary’s kids:

“Okay! Okay Little Mary’s children! I will get the toy for each of you if you just behave yourself and stop the screaming! I will get you whatever it is that you want! You know that I love you!”

Now her church sister friend feels that she should speak up now more than EVER before as they stand in the check out line and she sees the five shiny toys that grandma placed in her shopping cart for Little Mary’s kids.

She feels that she should speak up because as she has witnessed with her now grandmother church friend, raising Little Mary years before and in the many occasions thereafter, the tantrums have definitely worked on her, and she knows for a fact that we now have the beginnings of the child controlling the parent.

She should know what she is talking about if you want to be honest about it, because she is not ONLY Little Mary’s mother’s friend, but she is also Little Dave’s mother and knows a thing or too about NOT being an enabler………….

 

Contact Lance Scurvin At LanceScurv@yahoo.com

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About The Author

Culture Critic, Podcast Host, Blogger, Cartoonist & Social Media Activist who focuses on the issues that the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch! Call/Text Direct: 407.590.0755

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