Whether You Have A Man Or Not Ladies; Know That YOU ARE A QUEEN!

In the battlefield of this strategic high stakes game called dating, love and sex, no one truly wins, as the casualties are the obvious broken hearts and unhealed scars that no one ever acknowledges and few will ever see. You just do not see how futile and time wasting a game it is until it is too late, sometimes until you are on the brink of collecting social security. It is only then that your attempts at sincerely trying to garner the benefits of an emotional security through an honest relationship are obliterated by the relentless emotional vampires who posture as the honest caretakers of your heart only to find that they too, had a devious agenda.

Why play this game that has no winners?

It’s because of the way that you think, the way that you are uniquely constructed down to the bone. You simply know that there is someone out there for you but now your patience seems to be weakening and your resolve is not as strong as it was months before. To be held. To be kissed. To be made love to and have someone really mean it is all that you want. Sure. We know that that’s not ALL that it would take to make you happy but dear Lord! Why is bliss so hard to find?

I know how you feel. Many men feel the same way and are hard pressed to admit their feelings. What a shame. I believe that to internalize one’s feelings would be to hasten one’s life and drop down from any of the common and preventable health ailments much too young before our time. We weren’t just made to grin and bear it. We should be free to express ourselves. The sad part about it is that we are, but we construct the imaginary boundaries that choke the natural bond between the sexes and it is morphing us into something that our Creator never intended us to be and it is so sad.

Yet under all of our self accrued dysfunctions and imbalanced views of each other, we still feel that powerful attraction towards one another and we cannot deny its presence. We cannot deny its grip on our mind.

It’s a natural desire indeed, but do not allow another state of mind to enter into it to pull you away from being the Queen that He intended you to be.

Ladies, no matter what you have been through or how hard it has been in your past relationships, even though you have sworn off of men (For those of you who are straight and into men!), you still wrestle with that weakened light of hope that still burns like a candle holding on in the windstorm for dear life to remain alive, you still have a space buried somewhere deep in your heart for that man who just might be the one for you.

Sure, you will never say this at the hairdresser or the after church service parking lot “catch up on the gossip” pow wow that you my indulge in every week as you and your church sisters decide where it is that you all are going to eat. No! This is something that you refuse to admit because all of your other friends play by the same rules. Plus, you really do not want to hear it if you appear to be dropping your guard in the presence of those girlfriends who have unofficially sworn to be the lifelong “gatekeepers” of your tender heart.

But can you blame them for “helping” to protect you? Have you forgotten so quickly? While they may have their personal issues themselves and get on your nerves sometimes they have always been there for you and have really gone above and beyond what most friends will do in the time of your need. They listened to your repetitious rantings over the phone after that last heart wrenching breakup that was initiated when your ex left his cellphone on the nightstand and you couldn’t resist taking a peek when someone repeated texts to him in the wee hours while he happily hummed a tune in the shower after making some good love to you. It hurt to see what “the other woman” said about how good he knew how to satisfy her and how he was orally the best!

This was a pleasure that you thought was reserved for you and YOU only!

You just knew he was completely into you and your world came tumbling down so hard when you realized that he was using you only for you vast financial and emotional resources. The cops were summoned that night to you address for the first time since you had purchased your home and thank God your intense feelings of betrayal made for an unsteady hand as you emptied out the clip in his general direction but never hit anything of worth as an attempted murder charge just couldn’t stick.

Yes. You have been through a lot and your girlfriends have definitely played a major role in bringing you back into the world of sanity and common sense as you have always acknowledged them as being God sent.

But there comes a time when nature cannot be denied anymore, even if those deep wounds still aren’t healed up all the way.

If a man is that ONE for you, then he will treat you with the highest of respects at all times…….

Ladies, I see the frustrations in your face every time I hold the door for you at the local supermarket when in reality I didn’t really have to because you were really too far away but to see a man acknowledge you with a smile gave you a taste of what you were made to receive all of the time and gave a boost to that flickering flame of love that still burns brightly from within even though the world never gives it a reason to do so.

All I can say to you now is that even though it may feel hard to continue on with the weight of loneliness riddling your very soul like a terminally ill patient in their last days of life, HOLD ON! Know that God’s world is perfect in all ways and that it is man who has messed up the system because of his transgressions. You didn’t do this yet you are suffering the consequences of living in such a corrupt system. I know. It’s not fair at all but I can show you a way to stack the odds in your favor so that you too can have the life of your dreams and the love that you deserve.

The key here is to never react to the environment around you in a negative way. Continue to shine your light out into the world in a consistent and steady manner and you will accrue such a reputation with the universe of goodness that it will pay you dearly for you tipping the balance of energy in such a positive way.

It will be tough at times but smile when you may feel a need not to. I have found that our inner being will adjust to how we project ourselves out to the world around us and our responses with those in our midst will be that much more pleasant. You just never know who is watching. Please trust me on that one.

It’s like this, I learned a valuable lesson when my mother passed away in April of 1994. Wow. At the time of this writing that means that her passing is 15 days shy of 17 years but I can remember that entire time period like it was earlier today. She taught at the literacy program at LaGuardia Community College and at York College which are both located in Queens New York. She was received as a loving helpful soul to whom I will say at this point in my life looking back she was definitely an “empathetic” individual.

She would really “feel” as persons pain and discomfort and have a unique way of dissipating it away into nothingness for you. she was the ultimate giver and this is where I get that spirit from and I thank God for the gift of a Mother such as she. Because of the rhythms that I internalized from her, I too have become a blending of her traits and my Fathers. I am saying all of that to say this; when she passed away, I could not believe the amount of love reflected back to her and the overwhelming outpouring of confessions that others have revealed to me of times when my Mother had helped someone out in a time of need!

I didn’t even know that she mentored hundreds if not thousands of individuals from all age groups and every classification of race! This wasn’t a quick money hustle for her as she never took a dime for the times that she counseled young Mothers who didn’t know where to turn in their time of need or a young man who may have become frightened of the news that he would soon become a teenaged Father.

I didn’t know.

I didn’t know that there were so many people who came back to thank her for helping them to get off of drugs permanently without any relapse.

I didn’t know of the time that she spent with the women who just couldn’t seem to move on from the traumatic abuse that they received from their fathers and uncles yet have gone on to enjoy the healthy relationships and marriages that satan tried his best to keep them out of by constantly reminding them that they were not worthy!

My Mother lived such a blessed life because she wasn’t afraid to give of herself in God’s name! Yes, she had her personal pains and battle scars from the tragedies suffered in life. But her connection to the Divine was too strong to let such minor issues stop her from being the Queen that she STILL IS!

It hit me so hard when I look at these women in public and in passing who have allowed themselves to continue the cycle of pain that they have been a victim of to determine how they now react with the world around them!

The secret to cleansing oneself from the pain of your past is to go right back to that place that you fear and GIVE FREELY to the universe to jump start a new cycle of living that is there for you fresh and brand new every single day that God awakens you!


Know that you are where all life comes from and that your position in this universe is divine in an undisputed manner! a man may have big muscles and have his designated positioning in the order of this universe but if the truth be told, he can at best only be the PROVIDER to YOU!

Now just because you may find yourself all alone for what may seem like an eternity you must understand that it is NOT because there is anything wrong with YOU, it is because many of these man-bums in your midst are not worthy of taking that divine position by your side to be a King because of the Queen that YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!

That beautiful Diamond laced Crown of a Queen cannot sit atop a head that is bowed down in defeat and despair, never fall victim to the devil’s mind tricks to make you think that you are less than what you really are…….

Let’s get down in this thing so I can make you know something that you should never forget. Ready? It’s like making love and we are well into the motion and it’s just a matter of time before we both come down the stretch! Okay come on…….

It doesn’t matter how many times you have been abused by the animalistic low lives who have abused their positioning that was given by God and their righteous duty to you…….YOU ARE A QUEEN!

It does NOT matter how many times that man told you that what you say doesn’t count or how many other women he has cheated on you with and laughed about it in your face…….YOU ARE A QUEEN!

It really matters not if you have a football team of kids around you from many different fathers, the minute that you wake up to who God made you to be all shame is banished because when He gave you the gift of life, He gave it to you because what?…….because YOU ARE A QUEEN!

So what if you were or ARE addicted to crack cocaine and have a history of walking the streets to get that money to get the next hit, God did not make you that and your Queenly Throne sits empty awaiting for you for the time that you wake up to understand that no matter how far down you may sink in the social status ( You’ve heard them talking before: “She will never be anything, all she is is a damn crackhead!”) of this world and no matter how low people think of you because of the things that you have done or are doing know that the ONE who controls this whole entire thing made you for one reason and for one reason only……..and that is to sit on your throne in God’s name as the QUEEN THAT YOU ARE!

Why else would He equip you with the ability to carry life? The man damn sure can’t do it! Every living being on this planet that you can lay your eyes on no matter if they are Chinese, Japanese, African, European, Indian or WHATEVER! They are the by product of a Heavenly process that produced them to reflect the light of God on the earth…….ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN!

You my dear are the connection to Heaven itself!

Why do you think that so many men are trying to get up in between your thighs and inside of your pussy? Do you think that this is just a physical thing? The Heaven that you possess is much more than the vagina that you have but the essence of a woman is the closest thing we men have to heaven on this physical plane! You are NOT to give away your Heaven to a man who doesn’t provide for you. Doesn’t respect you. Doesn’t honor you in all ways……NO! He doesn’t deserve it! He has to EARN it because you DON’T come cheap! even if you did give it away at one time or even several hundred thousand times, the value of it is immediately restored when you absorb the realization of who you are! Isn’t that wonderful?

The pussy of a righteous woman always has a higher value than of one who is living against divine law. But that is not to say that you cannot ever BE that righteous woman ladies, it’s just that you have to fall into line with what our God wants for you so that you can start immediately enjoying the benefits!

So even when you were out there popping your fingers in the nightclub…….drunk out of your mind and acting a damn fool letting those men  have their way with you while you thought that you were really doing something , God knew who you were and brought you right out of the filthy lifestyle into the balance and peace of mind that comes with being obedient to His will and if you are not there yet Sisters understand that your throne awaits you when you are ready to ascend to it!

I am pleading with someone today to never forget who you are and know that you are NEVER to low where you do not have something worthy to give, it’s the first step in being enabled to grabbing that first rung on the latter that will gradually pull you up to that throne that awaits you and can never be filled by anyone else!

Shame? Ha! don’t even think about being ashamed my love, because when you finally look back and see how far you have come and how high our God has brought you, it won’t even be a problem to speak of the things that we have done in our past foolishness in our testimony to help those who may be in a similar position because it is now all a thing of the PAST!

And that one true love who IS out here in the world born and walking about the earth anticipating a heavenly collision with the person that is you will honor you beyond measure despite the past trials and tribulations that you have had to endure. He will see you for the well rounded and completely developed person that you are today and appreciate how victorious you have been over the many obstacles that you have surmounted and the hot fires that you were made to walk through that made you the beautiful precious diamond that you are today!

Only then will you realize that the forever that you have been waiting for all of your life is a feeling and NOT a measure of time. Time can pass but feelings last forever so when you are nestled warmly and firmly in the arms of the man that God has ordained for you, whether it be only weeks or decades that you have together, you will now know forever more that you really had nothing to worry about because the love that you feel is really God coming through that man and although he may be the earthly manifestation of true love…….that source of Godly love is a never ending supply that will always keep the cup of your heart forever running over!

And come to think of it, isn’t that the kind of love that is deserved of a Queen?


Please, do this for me. All day today, or for the rest of your evening, I want you to say to yourself under your breath, out loud or in your mind…….say: I AM A QUEEN!

If you get cat called by the men in the street because of the delicious stride and womanly adornments that are so attractive to the eye just say to yourself: I AM A QUEEN!

When your co-workers try to bring you down at the job for whatever reason that hater’s hate, just think or say to yourself: I AM A QUEEN!

Make this the second thing that you say (Praise God for waking you up first!) to yourself upon arising and the second to last (God get’s the final praise before you retire always!) thing that you state out to the universe before you turn into bed. Make this a part of your mindset and act out in the way that royalty acts in all life situations. Notice the change that takes you over and let me know how you are doing in a few months. share this word with a girlfriend or someone who may need a word of encouragement!

We have to support each other because God knows that there are so many negative forces running amok that are out to tear us down.

Good night my Queen!

Love always,

Lance Scurv



About The Author

Media Personality | Culture Critic | Podcast Host | Digital Nomad | Blogger & Cartoonist who focuses on the issues that the Mainstream Media is deathly afraid to touch!  THE LANCESCURV SHOW PODCAST focuses is on current events, trending happenings, news and thought provoking topics of interest in an uncompromising uncensored manner.

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