I wish I could see your face now after reading the title of this blog. Bottom Bitch? I know it caught your eye but it is a valid question that I hope I can stimulate you into thinking about.

And if you are a woman who is concerned about the status and strength of your relationship with your husband or boyfriend (Or whatever it is that you call your very important love interest pairing!) then you might want to absorb the divine lessons in this crudely titled blog with the gritty raw contents.

To let the packaging of this writing repel you from going any further would be to limit your own understanding of the vast world of male/female relationships of which I have plenty of experience and although I do not claim to be an authority at all I will let my words speak for themselves.

First of all, before we get into the meat and potatoes of his piece, let me clarify that the meaning of the word “bitch” is a female dog,
which is something that you probably already know.

Here is what the definition of a “Bitch” is straight out of the Merriam-Webster dictionary, so you can’t complain or “bitch” about the use of this word because it is OFFICIAL! Here it goes:

Definition of “BITCH”:
1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2: a) lewd or immoral woman
b) a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
4: complaint

But you all know that the word’s real-world use and meaning are not something nice at all. As if you didn’t know to call someone a bitch is fighting words, and PLEASE don’t call anyone’s Mother a bitch, because somebody is dying as well as there being a violence-ridden bloody crime scene soon in the making there. Definitely not a pretty event at all! But as I really took a deeper look into this I feel it would be better if some women would try to live UP to the standard of a bitch instead of carrying on as they do!

Up to? Damn right! You see, the female dogs or “bitches” that I have seen out here in the world, even the stray dogs, would never abandon their offspring or purposely abuse them! But some of those same women who would be ready to fight when called a bitch would leave their children at home alone at night unattended just to go off all night ’till the break of dawn to party and drink at the nightclub!

So before you get uptight about a word, let’s pray that you could at least hold the high standards of “bitch” loyalty, of “bitch” responsibility, and the “bitches” sense of duty to her kids righteously! If possessing those righteous attributes makes one a bitch then we need more certified flaming bitches in the world!

Now under that context, the word “bitch” is a step UP for many of these low-minded deceitful ‘hood type hoochies who exude and exemplify the lower echelon of a bottom-feeder existence. And it’s not just the hoochies in the ‘hood my friend, you can be a sophisticated and very much educated high-class hoochie mama also, scheming and conniving your way on an entirely different plane where one would not even associate the lower levels of human behavior to even flourish. So even the so-called women of a higher pedigree in society can take a page out of the book of being a righteous “bitch!” Don’t get it twisted.

Remember those old Blaxploitation movies from back in the seventies that always seemed to have pimps and prostitutes in them with a larger-than-life demeanor almost to the point of being comical?

Well if you can recall, out of the entire stable of “women” that he had in their twisted arrangement of a lifestyle, there was always this one main woman who was the “Bottom Bitch”, she was his most trusted woman, and if the truth be told in that lifestyle, it pretty much WAS his woman.

The other women in the stable were kept in line more from her than the pimp ever did, contrary to what (“Bitch! Where’s my money!”) the movies always portrayed! The “Bottom Bitch” was the Chief Field Supervisor of the on-ground Street-Walking Operations. If she even detected that there was any foul play with the other newer girls who were working for the pimp, he would know about it in NO TIME FLAT!

He didn’t have to question the word of his “Bottom Bitch”, whatever she said was LAW! So there was respect in the entire stable for the “Bottom Bitch” as well as a healthy dose of fear, because if you pissed HER off then you would know for a fact that you were going to catch it BIG TIME from the pimp with NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

What many of the other girls have learned over time is that while that “Bottom Bitch” at one time or another was out there selling herself and giving the money to the pimp is that she and the pimp have a special bond over and above anything that the other women could ever hope to touch.

It went beyond the normal parameters of what society accepts as a typical relationship because they had their own set of unique rules so to say, most of the time they were unwritten and unspoken but nonetheless very much a concrete thing.

The “Bottom Bitch” even had her own hold on the pimp as a woman that no other woman seemed to have.

This unpredictable slick talking street smart and ever-wise man of the streets could be putty in her hands in those unguarded moments when others have caught a glimpse of how almost “loving” their bond truly is. They somehow satisfied an extreme human need for each other in the midst of a lifestyle that the majority of us would never approve of and never be able to comprehend.

But this only goes to show you that regardless of what life you live, you as a human being have needs that MUST be met, even if you are a streetwalker or a street-hardened pimp! I believe that even in THIS example that there is a lesson for us all to learn if we look past the packaging OF that example!

You Might Be His Wife, But Are You His Bottom Bitch?

Wow! Do you even know what this means? What’s the difference anyway? Is there something that one does that the other doesn’t or even won’t? Wife sounds better but what could being a Bottom Bitch entail? Could they both even be one person?

Here is what the definition of a “Wife” is straight out of the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

1:a) dialect: woman b) a woman acting in a specified capacity —used in combination <fishwife>
2: a female partner in a marriage

Well, we all know what a wife is SUPPOSED to be but let me offer a loose and very informal explanation of what a wife is, but I won’t take too long on that part because that could end up being an entire blog all by itself and I want to get to the good stuff…….

Remember, in this explanation of what a wife is, it is assumed and expected that the husband meets the same level of excellence that she lives up to also. So please don’t think that I am making demands on her that are impartial and implying that the husband has no responsibility whatsoever.

A wife is someone that has divinely committed to her husband as he has to her. She sees no separation between herself and her husband when it comes time to care for him.

We he is hungry, she is hungry. She cannot truly enjoy a meal if she knows that the pangs of hunger are alive in his belly and will do everything to make sure that he is satisfied not only in the matter of his nutritional needs but in every aspect of his existence as long as it brings her no pain or discomfort. Which really is a no-brainer because he couldn’t stand to see her in any pain or discomfort.

Toward her husband, she is selfless and submitting. Her mind, body, and soul always monitor his state of well-being and if any part of his existence is deficient then she will make up the difference with the divine resources that have been placed within her for him by the Creator.

While she well knows the range of her vast capabilities as a woman, the rich color of those qualities comes alive in its fullest majesty as she executes them like paint on the canvas that is his life.

In her mind there is no other nor would she ever think of another man’s love. Her ability to totally commit to her husband is effortless because she loves him so intensely.

Now let us explore exactly what makes a woman a Bottom Bitch so that we can compare the differences between her and the actual wife.

The Bottom Bitch is someone that refuses to allow any other woman to love the man that she has committed to more than her and will be that one who will always come through over and above for that man regardless of what the world will say about her fanatical passion for that man.

She understands that she may not be his wife, but she considers herself in actuality to be something much more than the wife that he has at home because it is SHE who is the one that he comes to in times of an emotional drought. It is she that he calls in the midnight hour when it comes time to make those ever-important decisions at home unbeknownst to his wife.

When he is horny, she is horny. She refuses to think that he walks the earth in a state of arousal which makes him a target for another Bitch to scoop him up. She trusts that he knows what he has in her but she also knows how to put that divine pussy stronghold on him and she will not allow another Bitch to get in because she has slacked on her job. Unlike the wife, the Bottom Bitch knows the shark-infested waters of the world quite well and she understands how tough it is to keep a man these days and refuses to throw him to those same sharks by not keeping him saturated in satisfaction.

The Bottom Bitch would rather keep her relationship with her man real. She is not into false pretenses. She doesn’t get all bent up and out of shape if she catches him checking out another chick at the mall or in the street.

She knows a man will be a man. She will look past a lot of things and not get all bent out of shape because of it, but only up to a certain point. There are just some things that she will NOT tolerate.

He knows where the line is drawn and won’t ever think of crossing it. She is secure in who she is and knows that if he could feel comfortable telling her his deepest darkest secrets, then he will always come back to her even if they reside under a different roof or a separate address. Home is where the heart is.

The Bottom Bitches connection is not merely in the physical realm, she remains faithful and committed in the most undying manner as her dedicated laser-like focus to “Ride or Die” with her man is a textbook example of unconditional love, to say the least. Even when the world may doubt him she won’t flinch or waver in her faith in his good standing even when others have abandoned the ship. And if the truth is told, she wouldn’t even leave his side if he were found to be guilty in anything other than violating a child on purpose, but murder, theft, or even infidelity, she “ain’t budging” ONE bit!

The Bottom Bitch is very protective over her man and while others may see the obvious in her adornment that she is quite worldly, she is very much a spiritual being, not in the sense that she practices any religion more than anyone else but she has a natural born gift of discernment that she is not afraid to use to filter out the negative entities that seek to scheme on her man and bring him down.

She will not allow you to “smile up” and “kee-kee” (False bravado) with her man if she detects that you are not an authentic person who is in his corner.

At the first opportunity that she has to “step to you” to straighten you out and “blow up your spot,” she will! It doesn’t matter if you are out in public at a social function or stepping out of the church house on a Sunday morning with your family. She is going to speak her mind and tell you exactly what she sees about you in your character and why you dislike her man and what you need to do as far as banishing yourself from his life.

The Bottom Bitch knows her place and would never do anything to bring any embarrassment or discomfort to her man. She will always willingly keep a low profile and is not trying to compete with the wife in any way whatsoever.

As a matter of fact, even though the Bottom Bitch knows damn near everything about the wife’s most intimate secrets, she would never reveal what she knows and will even “look out” for her in a protective manner also because although she would have loved to have been the wife, she knows that in a sense that she IS the wife but because of timing and a twist of fate, she arrived on the scene maybe a few years too late and can accept that.

Now let me tell you, I can go on and on about the virtues of the Bottom Bitch but I have one more statement to you that may be more compelling and interesting than any other revelation that I have written in this article thus far.

You are probably sitting there in disgust and thinking to yourself that you are a bit shocked that after you felt as though you knew my general character from a distance how could I justify writing an article in praise of “THE OTHER WOMAN?”

Well, I’m NOT! And while I may have written it in that manner for effect and to help you see the “attributes” of BOTH mindsets, I NEVER SAID that they actually HAD to be two separate entities!

You see, the fact of the matter is that you can be his Wife AND his Bottom Bitch at the same time but the sad fact is most wives are NOT and this opens the door for another woman to step in and fill the neglected gaps that most wives fail or refuse to fill!

Those gaps are not always sexual. They can be something as simple as forging a connection to him by taking some interest in something that he loves. Be his buddy sometimes. Present yourself as one of the boys. Allow him to be a man and get aggressive in the world as men do. Don’t chastise him every time that he may get a little pissed when an idiot cuts him off in traffic.

Let him indulge in his idiosyncrasies without huffing and puffing and limiting his time with it because you may not be into it so much. I’m not asking you to be passive but let him “rev” his engines sometimes without spoiling the show by always bringing him “back to earth” as long as it is harmless and won’t put either one of you in danger or harm!

What many women do not realize is that many men out here secretly have what I would call the “Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome”, they secretly desire to have a woman that is an extension of themselves in every way where they can do their “dirt” together in the world and come home to laugh about it. Now I’m not talking about the both of you going out to rob banks now, that would be foolish. What I am suggesting is to frequently “break the rules” together.

Give him that air of the unexpected where he just about anticipates anything from you, I myself have this quality and before I forget to mention it let me say that men TOO must learn how to be a “Bottom Bitch” for their wives except we will have to come up with an alternative name for it at some point! Lol!

What many women have failed to understand is that where the wife ends is exactly where the Bottom Bitch begins!

You can’t get angry at anyone except yourself sweetheart and I am in favor of the sanctity of marriage and the benefits of being faithful and the covering of marriage but I cannot sit here and speak of some rosy fantasy-like connection when I see reality for what it is and am being your friend to break it down in such a truthful manner for you!

I’m telling you the secret of keeping your marriage healthy only under the conditions of him being a worthy man, to begin with! If he is a worthless piece of crap (If he is then you will know why so I won’t even have to go into detail here!) then this advice doesn’t pertain to your relationship because a man like him doesn’t even DESERVE a Bottom Bitch in the first place!

Let me open your eyes to one of the laws of nature. Have you ever noticed that of all of the men that you have known in your life from your childhood up to the present time that is dynamic hard working charismatic achievers, have never had to look too far to enjoy the company of a woman?

No matter what marital status the man is discovered to have. A woman knows a good man when she sees one and while some will keep those other “wow I would love to be with him” thoughts buried in the deepest recesses of their mind, some may not be as kind as there will be a never-ending barrage of interested women coming across his path purposely for the mere fact that he is viewed as a great catch and a wonderful man!

Some may want a “taste” while others might want the whole “package” for themselves and every possible desire that we can think of. It’s a wide scope of individuals out here in the world with an entire range of capabilities and possibilities.

I’m quite sure if you have reached this far into this article then you know what I am saying is the truth and you know that there is a whole lot of drama out here in the world along these lines of women who have GOT to have THAT man by any means necessary!

That being said ladies while a marriage is a total commitment where one shouldn’t feel as though they have to continually “qualify” themselves to hold on to their spouse, the fact of the matter is that we shouldn’t get complacent on any level in that divine union


Well because when you have a good man and a good husband those natural forces gone wild and left unchecked out in the world will still “kick in” and there WILL be those women who will greatly admire those qualities that your husband (Or whatever status of relationship that you have!) possesses the same way you did once before and some will not be able to contain themselves. Trust me, this is the reality of the situation and if you are not prepared to keep your relationship interesting and fresh then accept the fact that someone out there will and they will do so happily with a big smile on their face!

So while I am quite sure that most of you reading this are the epitome of womanhood and would never really ever consider yourself a “bitch’ by the definition of worldly terms, please use your higher intelligence to usurp for yourself those qualities that other women use that are at your disposal righteously to use but sometimes overlook in the whole scheme of things.

Again I must say that this approach works both ways as the man must look to be that same person in the submission to YOU as well. This cannot work in a one-sided effort. I merely wrote this article in this manner directed toward you as the woman in order to strike home the point on a more personal level.

The external manifestation of the “Bottom Bitch” can never exist if the wife took charge of all of the resources that are available to her to righteously overwhelm her man with all of the love and attention that he deserves as he should also do for her.

So do not come away from this article fearing that there are legions of potential “Bottom Bitches” out there just waiting to snatch your man away from you and that they might know some freaky secret that will attract him and keep him coming back to their home of ill repute time and time again. It won’t work like that once you know that every man wants a wife that is also his “Bottom Bitch!

Whether he knows what that terminology means of not that is the dream of every man that I know! The disappointment in our relationships comes when we realize that our choice of a spouse is not as full range as we thought it might be.

“A Lady in the Streets, a Cook in the Kitchen, and a Freak between the Sheets!”

I can add so much more to that one but that one statement alone that I am quite sure most have heard is the credo for a successful relationship/marriage more than you could ever know. Take heed and make your life one that is as exhilarating, exciting, and titillating over and above what your man thought and he will be so overwhelmingly happy that he will prepay his speeding tickets to the state in order to break the speed limit coming home from work to not waste a moment away from you to bring his mind, body, and soul home to you to place that paycheck at your feet!

Trust me. There IS no other way!

Leave your comments below in the comment area as I would love to hear what you have to say on this blog topic!

Peace & Righteous Love Always,

Your Brother,




About The Author


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September 13, 2017 12:43 PM

This is one of the BEST thought provoking blogs ever read! The explanation on the contrast of these two classifications… PROFOUND!!! I actually love the blog and saved it for future reference. You really brought clarity to the subject matter! This was very helpful to me. Thank you very much Lance!

Reply to  Valerie
October 14, 2017 1:18 PM

Dont be mislead by someone that wasn’t a pimp or a bottom bitch

January 27, 2017 7:40 AM

I am in a relationship with a man. We are both single and dating. He refers to me as his bottom bitch and I wear the title proudly. He knows that no matter what happens I will be there for him and he for me, no matter where we are in life. We call each other partners in crime. He calls me one of the boys. I understand exactly what you are saying and it is not derogatory in anyway. I believe anyone who has not been in a relationship like this, with that level of trust and loyalty, can not understand.

Elizabeth williams
Elizabeth williams
July 19, 2016 7:52 AM

Now this REALLY helps me!!!! I know its old but it’s NEW to me thanks soooo much

Elizabeth williams
Elizabeth williams
July 19, 2016 7:48 AM

I never heard this word before yesterday “BOTTOM B” I am shame to say because I’m almost 49 years old, and even more embarrassed to say that it describes me to a tee. But thank you for the eye opener. Keep writing Lance.

May 24, 2016 4:22 AM

This was the most long-winded, mysogynistic load of horse shit I’ve ever read.

Danielle Duckley
Danielle Duckley
Reply to  Amanda
October 14, 2017 1:16 PM

Yes it was he has no clue of what a bottom bitch is. I read one part that made me stop reading the rest

April 23, 2016 10:51 AM

Wow..hands up!! Luvin it! #moore

March 20, 2016 7:33 PM

Although intimidated by the length of the article, I am glad I read the whole thing. I’ve always understood that to have a successful marriage a wife had to be “personable in the streets, a master chef in the kitchen, and a vixen in the bedroom”. I agree with this concept wholeheartedly, and I love the emphasis that you put on the wife being the bottom bitch, and the bottom bitch being the wife. I only wish that it wasn’t an all too common phenomena that they are two separate people. There is nothing more powerful than a committed mutually fulfilling relationship. Thank you also for stressing that ALL of this is to be given to a man who plays the same role in his woman’s life. Women should not waste their time giving or using “wife/bottom bitch” powers to get or keep a man that doesn’t want to be gotten or kept, doesn’t appreciate what’s being offered to him, is using her efforts as fodder, and isn’t using his equal power to hold on to her.

February 3, 2016 4:20 PM

Me and my ex are still seeing each other, eventhough he has a new girlfriend. Every time we spent together, he tells me that he loves me, I’m his number one girl, and recently he just said I’m his bottom bitch. I’ve been trying to break the bond between us, but he always comes looking for me like I’m his oxygen. There’s times that he want to cry because he knows that I want to ended it. When he doesn’t hear from me, he starts looking for me at work, waits outside of my parents house or magically appears at the stores or places I go to. He tells me that he wants me to wait and to be patient until this relationship is over. I laugh when he says that he want to keep me forever that his bottom bitch….I’ll admit that I’m still in love with him, but I don’t want to be a joke and waste my time waiting for him. Sometime I want to stay but the other part does not believe him. Can someone tell me what they think?

Confused from the other side of the tracks
Confused from the other side of the tracks
August 29, 2015 9:33 PM

Yesterday my boyfriend called me his bottom bitch and I almost shrugged it off because he has a colorful way of expressing himself. I decided to research the term because he attempted to explain it but I was still confused. We have known each other for nearly 14 years and I have never donned a title until recently. We come from two different worlds and although we have fallen off several times, we always manage to come back to each other. Our friendship has always come first. I have been there thru several of his ups and downs and I never felt the need to place demands on him because he was not mine. I viewed him as a playboy and never was comfortable with the emotions that I felt for him. Now he wants me to be his wife. I have always been kept separate from his lifestyle but remained in the loop because of his constant honesty. I think I almost have a full understanding of what I will be getting myself into. Love flows freely in a way that I cannot describe in both directions. Its overwhelming how intense our emotions can be. I always knew he loved me but this title comes with a deeper responsibility than I could ever imagine. I always had the feeling that I had the potential of hurting him very deeply and the thought of that has always made me want to do what is best for him. Now that he is mine, and trust me, I have no intentions of sharing, I have an idea of what a relationship looks like and his is different. Is it possible to go back to just being friends if having a title does not work for me?

February 16, 2015 2:27 PM

I absolutely love this article and I say it’s about time. I have been referring to myself referred to me as the same thing. I realize that they’re are very few women that think the way I do and I’m good with that. But nonetheless, I have never seen this term as derogatory and/or negative. I am one of the few that is the wife and the bottom bitch. My husband and I are very open and honest with each other and have an amazing relationship. I make sure there is little to no gap for another woman to slither her way in. Now I am not foolish enough to think that it’s not possible for him to get caught up with another woman, but I am smart enough and open to know that if he does…..I’ll still be his “Bottom Bitch”, she may have a piece of him for a moment, but he will never have all of him for a lifetime. Just for the record, we are both college educated professionals, we just know the importance of truly being “Ride or Die”. Just cause I’m your wife doesn’t mean I stop being your “girl”.

hopeless in love
hopeless in love
September 5, 2013 9:42 AM

Ok so today my partner call me his “bottom bitch” to be honest i was offend on all accounts. so i took the net in search for “Bottom Bitch” not knowing what i would find. i stumbled on a few site that addressed pimps and prostitute. Reading these terms brought tears to my eye. i felt like he was belittling me, as if there was not value to our 5 years together. even after reading your article i have to admit I’m still confused. what happened to the normal terms to express how we feel about our significant other?

Lance Scurvin
Reply to  hopeless in love
September 5, 2013 10:23 AM

Hopeless In Love:
Don’t be too quick with the tears my friend, we all have different ways of expressing our feelings for each other but if the term does make you feel uncomfortable, I would say that you should speak to him about it.
It’s almost like meeting up in another country with your pen pals from all over the world and being surprised that everyone is not carrying the same currency. There are just some things that we just can’t assume.

It could be his upbringing, it could be that he thinks that you already understand that he calls you this in an affectionate way or maybe he doesn’t understand how it makes you feel.

Either way, these feelings of yours need to be addressed and dealt with if he truly loves you, so I say sit down and talk about it!

Let me know what happens and good luck!


August 3, 2013 10:06 PM

So I came across your article because this guy that I am dating called me his bottom bitch while having sex. I did not know what the hell this meant and I was like what the hell when I read the dictionary meaning. But after reading your article it help to shed light on why he would call me this. I am not in a situation where I am the other woman but we are both going through situations right now which are preventing us from moving forward in our relationship. I now understand why he would call me this and I am no longer offended.

Lance Scurvin
Reply to  ag
August 4, 2013 12:20 AM

That’s awesome AG! I’m glad that you understood where I was coming from when I wrote this article. Many who see the title get offended right away and never see the total scope of what I intended to share.

That being said, beware of those who use the term “Bottom Bitch” yet have a completely different projection of what it means. Thanks again for your comments and indulge your mate wholeheartedly in reaching the level of the ultimate “BB” that many other women aspire to but can never achieve!

Peace & Righteous Love Always,


November 5, 2012 9:19 AM

So are u saying a 'Bottom B _ _ _ _' will ALWAYS have to share her man?

Reply to  NonaDy
December 16, 2012 9:59 AM

I don't believe that a Bottom Bitch ever feels that she is sharing her man at all. She knows that she IS her mans ONLY woman because she has his heart and life in the palms of her hand and knows it. She has merely accepted the fact that she didn't get to him first and doesn't sweat it until when that time comes we they are completely together. Her role in his life is the most important component IN his life but they both have the patience to see beyond the present situation that he is in as it falls off eventually like the useless husk that it really is. I am not supporting anyone to keeping a woman on the side but I just wanted to explain a reality that never had the spotlight put on it because it's MORE than to people sneaking around just for sex. Most adulterous relationships are NOT good enough to quality as a Bottom Bitch situation, because this thing is about total love "in the now" and having faith that true love will win out in the end. She is patient with the events in his life and has no problem waiting because she knows that she is NOT being strung along. She knows EVERY aspect of his life and has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that she is the one because of the sensitive inside information in his life that he has offered as proof of his sincerity. The Bottom Bitch knows that she can tear his entire world apart but would never do so because she was granted this power wholeheartedly and would never hurt someone who has made himself so vulnerable to her. Ideally, the wife had the first opportunity to BE the Bottom Bitch but she forfeited. This is the point that I am trying to drive home, if most wives remembered how they appeared to be Bottom Bitch/Wife material in the beginning of there relationship with their husbands, they would have NEVER slacked off or ignored his pleas for her to be "that one." The current Bottom Bitch would have NEVER had the chance to catch his heart if it weren't for the wife not being on point! So this is my message to ALL wives who do not want to lose their husbands: BE A BOTTOM BITCH TO YOUR MAN AND HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR SPEND TIME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN EVER!

Reply to  NonaDy
November 6, 2012 5:03 AM

Not necessarily. The Bottom Bitch has a bond with her man that runs deeper than anything that this superficial world has to offer. They have a true marriage, but because of outside preexisting circumstances they are not there yet. She knows that her man is not stringing her along because he has given her too much reassurance and actually has more power than the "Wife/So called official woman." The know that they know that they know! While I am not condoning anything that I've explained in this blog, it is actually an observation that many refuse to want to explore.

Dbrachoney Love
June 28, 2012 5:03 PM


Dbrachoney Love
Reply to  Dbrachoney Love
June 28, 2012 5:47 PM


February 6, 2012 10:51 AM

It seems to me that most women have a very negative perception of a "bottom bitch", wheras men don't. Women think of it as a woman thats on the side or a jump-off. Its quite possible to be a "bottom bitch" without being the chick on the side or a mistress. A single man can have a "bottom bitch"! I've always taken it to mean that a "bottom bitch" is just a woman who will love you when you're at the bottom, just as much as she would when you're on the top. Who wouldn't want someone around like that? Of course, no woman wants to be anything but number 1 to a man…but I feel like the term "bottom bitch" gets a bad rap. Just because the term is "bottom bitch" does not mean that you are literally at the "bottom" of the man's list. You are actually at the top..he confides in you, trusts you, you know him best…all that is true UNLESS he has a wife or significant other. If a man married you, you should have been his "bottom bitch" first. I consider myself my husband's "bottom bitch". NOBODY is going to hold him down like I do!!

October 22, 2011 4:44 PM

I Googled the term because my best friend told me that I am my ex's Bottom Bitch. I got offended at first but was like how can I get mad at the term and I don't know the meaning of it. Why did he say that? So after reading your blog it struck several nerves. LOL! I was like this is some awesome insight into the situation. LOL! My ex and I have fallen out three times and he keeps coming back trying to be my "friend". I asked why and he was like you are the only one that get's me. Your blog basically stated our situation. That dude knows that even apart I still will have his back no matter what … I have been there through the thick and the thin…the ups and the downs… I guess that's why he tries to stay so close to me. So thank you for clarifying the term. I think I just might fit into that category.

Lady J
Lady J
July 12, 2011 4:15 PM

This was a most fascinating read! I totally enjoyed every "loooooong" minute of it. I absolutely could not stop reading! It was like I was mesmerized! LOL You are amazing! Keep on doing you, Lance and "I'll be baack"! LOL Take care and God bless!

Lea Childs
Lea Childs
July 12, 2011 3:47 PM

Greetings Bro. Scurvin:

I would like to thank you for being honest and courageous enough to "SPEAK TRUTH TO POWER." It is delightfully refreshing to have you articulate and explicate your thoughts so thoroughly. Your wife must really have her chest poked out!!!! LOL!! Keep the thought-provoking commentary coming. Much love to you and yours.

Peace and Richest Blessings to you,


July 3, 2011 4:59 PM

I love how you make the bottom bitch also other woman as you say in this article seem like the best woman to a man. But I don't know how many wives you know but there are plenty who have their husbands back and have many qualities which you speak of of a bottom bitch. The difference is a wife has more respect for herself to allow herself to know of another woman. In this case a bottom bitch is in denial only believing she is better than the wife. Because why does he marry his wife and not the bottom bitch? I could go on and on about this subject, would I want to be his bottom bitch?? Lol HELL NO..but really bottom bitch is a pimps top prostitute the one he has a special relationship with who will recruit other prostitutes. That's where it originates…Tiff.

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May 21, 2011 6:46 PM

I'm that bottom bitch that you so creatively spoke about. This article was off the chain. LOVE IT!!!!!

Reply to  Niecy
May 21, 2011 6:54 PM

A true man needs that ride or die chick in his life. She is his right arm. His solider. His protector. His lover. His best friend…The bottom bitch is everything that he needs and wants. She is what he craves…..It takes a real, confident, resourceful woman to be a bottom bitch…

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