Isn’t it something how we lose ourselves in the roles that we feel we have to uphold for others?
Is it THAT important to not “pay ourselves first” emotionally with the things that bring joy to our true selves?
We find ourselves in a space where we cater the needs of everyone else in our midst yet have forgotten who we are. Most times we can go as far as feeling guilty for almost enjoying those clean simple pleasures in life that we all need to enjoy alone.
We are constantly made to feel by our designated personal spiritual vampires as though it were a crime to have enjoyed those two peaceful hours in your favorite restaurant or tucked away in a comfortable chair quietly browsing the new books in the “Barnes & Noble” bookstore.
We are usually made to counterbalance the bliss received, and pay a heavy price in the form of guilt by doing something unnecessarily extra for that particular dependent leech after the simple well deserved pleasure was discovered…this is the normal routine after enduring an intense scrutiny under their all seeing (You can’t even enjoy a small bag of your favorite potato chips during the drive home from the supermarket after food shopping for THEM without them making a big fuss about it! Why didn’t you buy me one! LOL!) dysfunctional radar upon your return.
Whatever or brings us those personal joys, we must understand that it can’t help anyone else one iota by being in denial of our needs and the things that are dear to us. Yet we push on feeling that intense hunger and void that our very souls desperately scream out to us in unique ways to get relief from its grip.
Our kids demand of us.
Our jobs demand of us.
Our mate demands of us.
Our religious institutions demand of us.
Even the “friends” who won’t be around 2 years from now who are secretly hating on you will make demands of you.
They will leave you absolutely TOTALLY drained to the point where all you could do is go off somewhere and stare of into space completely oblivious to the world around you and its happenings WONDERING where the HELL did YOUR LIFE disappear to!!!!
If we don’t have a mate then the pressure we put on ourselves to appear desirable makes demands of us. We even sometimes have unrealistic images and standards that we feel we have to live up to. What a PRESSURE! All of these draining forces that we allow into our psyches all because of what we think the world around us demands of us. You know what? Drop dead right now and the world will not miss a beat! The spiritual and financial vampires will find another enabler from which to attain its fix.
It’s a damn shame that we can’t even masturbate in peace without having to look over our shoulder, expecting a knock on the bedroom (or bathroom) door or phone call waiting to hear someone plead with you to do another “above and beyond the call of duty” request for them!
There will be some people who know you who wouldn’t even find OUT that you passed away until a year or two from now. There will be more energy spent on the scheming and fighting over your worldly possessions by your own family and so called friends than focusing on having a dignified ceremony in your memory! Yet they never fought each other down to be in line to receive your spiritual wisdom while you were here.
When the POPE died, after the hoopla died down, not many individuals are making noise about him at all. So what does this tell you? DO YOU! It is not a selfish thing to think this way. Your God given energies are more precious than the money in your pockets. You wouldn’t just give your money away to anyone so why would you give your time and energy away? The amount of time that we have spent in a negative unfulfilling relationship could have been that college degree or that GED you KNOW that you should have had by now!
There comes a time when the bird has to learn to fly. To keep the bird in the nest and not challenge it to fly is to go against Gods natural plan for the bird. In our ignorance we feel that we are doing the bird a favor. But in actuality, we are killing its chances for survival. While he other birds that were made to fly by a “tough love” parent and survive the attacks in the wild by other predators, the nurtured bird was devoured because of it had absolutely no clue as to how it could get away in the same situation. You love the bird but you must love yourself too! Make that young bird fly! Some will take to it sooner than others.
That’s okay.
But don’t allow your good intentioned nurturing of another to kill all chances for you to continue to love YOU while smothering that dependent entity from growing and being able to hold their own in the world! These co dependent unions can last a lifetime!
Partners in retardation!
The mother can’t seem to find and hold on to a man so she keeps a tight grip on her only daughter to fulfill the companionship needs that should come from a man. The daughter plays the mother by threatening to date so the mother demonizes every male that appears in sight!
They both are frustrated because they secretly crave what the other can’t give. Does anyone reading this know a person like that? This in turn scares the potential men away who might not have known how deep this type of dysfunction runs…..
Seems like if you attempt to date the momma, you have to deal with the attention needs of the daughter. Can’t get a moment to get your groove on or have an adult conversation without the child being up in your face. The momma really craves that special intimate time and wishes she had the strength to speak out to the brat-like daughter who is pissed off (With a smile!) because this man is upsetting the delicate balance of the long standing house hold dysfunction and getting the attention that she feels is hers!
What a mess!
I have personally experienced this scenario! Imagine the things in peoples lives that are not dealt with from within? And they wonder why things are they way they are! So get these dependents strong on their feet so you can never lose that sense of self that you possessed when you were younger. Never lose yourself to another persons handicap hustle.
There comes a time when the well of good will and charity must run dry. When you finally declare to the users that it is dry and barron for them and what is left is remains for your personal joy, is when you will be left alone to be able to truly live! I have finally realized that the man/woman who always cried broke most times had the biggest stack of money in their pocket! They were the smart ones. Always keep a spiritual “stash” that no one can drain. Never volunteer your precious life force away to anyone who seeks to bankrupt your spirit! Take heed and PLEASE take the poll below to see where YOU stand with others!
